Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate fan: Constant, detailed love for Waterparks/Green Day, e.g. calling them 'this band' that makes them 'violently sobbing' with love in “violently sobbing i love this band so much” and hyping songs like 'bones of 92' and 'ice'.
- Caring friend: Shows affection and effort for friends, like being moved by a friend's kid dancing to Waterparks in “never felt more pride than when my friend's 4 year old screamed 'DALEXA PLAY THE WATERPARKS'” and stressing over Sammy’s present delivery in “THIS IS SAMMYS CHRISTMAS PRESENT… MOST RELIVED IVE EVER BEEN EVER”.
- Family‑oriented: Talks fondly about their dad—'i love my father so much' in “i love my father so much”—while joking about his quirks in “free dad who wants him. he'll buy u concert tickets…”.
- Ethical awareness: Critiques bad apologies and accountability in “yall need to either: a stop saying stupid fucking shit b learn to stand on the things u say c learn to write an actual apology” and calls out irresponsible medical portrayals in “homegirl did an intubation on a kid w no sedation… im not gonna be able to finish this show”.
- Dedicated worker: Proudly identifies as an EMT in their bio and shares work‑related experiences like going back to 24‑hour shifts in “guys im going back to work :) i have a 24 on friday :))” and riding code 3 while half‑asleep in “im half asleep so my medic is driving code 3”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh language: Frequently expresses anger with insults or violent phrasing, e.g. 'i hate that santa suit clad twink' in “i hate that santa suit clad twink” and wishing injury on a musician in “i hope tjat stupid fucking twink breaks his buckingarm”.
- Emotional impulsivity: Tweets strongly in the moment—like 'fuck my stupid fucking transgender life' in “fuck my stupid fucking transgender life” and 'im so done w today bro' in “im so done w today bro”—suggesting big mood swings shared publicly.
- Sleep neglect: Jokes about extreme wakefulness and stimulants, such as combining 5‑Hour Energy with Red Bull and 'not sleeping until christmas' in “threw a 5 hour energy into a baby red bull… im not sleeping until christmas” and being 'So Up rn' before day shift in “Sleepless Nights (im So Up rn im not surviving day shift next week)”.
- Online oversharing: Shares very personal states and situations in detail, like feeling near‑death after donating blood in “NEVER giving red blood cells again i kinda feel like im dying” and venting about being in 'emotional shambles' over fandom or life in “is anyone else in emotional shambles over bistro huddy on tiktok?”.
- Conflict intensity: Responds to media/people with extreme reactions, like wanting someone’s hair ruined in “i hope someone puts nair in his hair dye im being so fr rn” and all‑caps panic about political or news topics in “THEYRE GONNA BLOW US UP THAT MAN IS FUCKING STUPID”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They’re most like Lisa Simpson: outspoken, principled, and very online-brained about their interests. Like Lisa, they combine moral/political frustration with sharp commentary, as in their critique of the Super Bowl performance and U.S. politics: “a lot of ppl r missing the fact that at the end of the day green day still said fuck america at the fucking superbowl…” and “somehow this is the most important story fox has run in like 10 years”. Their EMT work and medical nitpicking show Lisa-like competence and overachiever energy: “oh i can actually answer this one! old ppl that think they can raw dog their UTIs…” and “homegirl did an intubation on a kid w no sedation while he was awake…”. They’re also intensely passionate and nerdy about their favorite band the way Lisa is about jazz and causes, seen in posts like “greendayparx president” and “this man wrote all of my favorite songs btw.”. Finally, their mix of vulnerability and self-aware humor—“fuck my stupid fucking transgender life” and “im not manic im eating a corn dog”—fits grown‑up, very-online Lisa more than any other Simpsons character.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extrovert: they constantly reference friends, family, and shared fandom experiences, and openly broadcast their thoughts and inside jokes (e.g., “team is Anyone awakei have once again found myself in a Situation and need to talk to literally ANYONE about this” and “so sorry if over the past couple weeks u have been personally victimized by a text during my Sleepless Nights”). They show strong Intuition with pattern‑spotting and symbolic connections, constantly reading meaning into music, media, and coincidences, like “this is a waterparks reference i just cant prove it yet” and comparing sodas or hair colors to specific album eras (“todays soda was so parx6 coded”). Their values and emotional reactions drive their judgments, pointing to Feeling: they rant about ethics, apologies, and protecting people (“yall need to either: a stop saying stupid fucking shit b learn to stand on the things u say c learn to write an actual apology”; “all men do is lie #PROTECTZAYN”), and express deep attachment to loved ones (“guys i love sammy so much im so happy rn u dont understand”). Their lifestyle and tweeting style are highly spontaneous and reactive, indicating Perceiving: they joke about impulsive caffeine choices and chaotic schedules (“threw a 5 hour energy into a baby red bull so basically im not sleeping until christmas”) and make last‑minute, stream‑of‑consciousness plans and complaints (“waiting for my first normal paycheck and then im locking the fuck in and buying lego toothless”). Altogether, their energetic social presence, metaphor‑heavy fandom talk, values‑driven rants, and flexible, chaotic approach to life align best with ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said your crispito leaked on you and everything’s Monday, but as a certified EMT 🚑, have you considered prescribing yourself one (1) date with me as emotional support?
- If your friend’s 4‑year‑old can yell “DALEXA PLAY THE WATERPARKS,” then I’m ready to yell “DALEXA, CALL ZACH” so we can be stupid‑for‑you together at a show.
- You give blood cells, pull 24s on a 24/48 truck, and still have energy to rant about 9‑1‑1 Lone Star and Grey’s anatomy—can I be the person you collapse on the couch with when shift is over and the twinks have finally logged off?
- You’re the greendayparx president, biggest “bones of ’92” fan, and plotting LEGO Toothless—statistically speaking, the next logical step is letting me be your emotional support game IRL.
- Your dad buys concert tickets, you mail your favorite internet stranger his number, and you still fear Awsten seeing you be a fool on Insta—how about we start small and you just risk Awsten seeing you on a date with me instead?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
EMT 🚑 | 20 | Waterparks & Green Day on loop | Once mixed 5‑Hour Energy with baby Red Bull and saw colors. Opinions my own, vitals usually stable.– @jesush8smyguts
Your signature cocktail
Bones of ’92 Energy Code 3
This cocktail runs like a 24/48 truck and hits like a 5‑hour energy in a baby Red Bull, inspired by their chaos energy in “threw a 5 hour energy into a baby red bull so basically im not sleeping until christmas im GOING to catch santa”. The high-proof citrus vodka is the EMT side of them—sharp, intense, and brutally honest, much like their medical hot takes in “oh i can actually answer this one! old ppl that think they can raw dog their UTIs…”. Blue raspberry energy drink nods to their hyperfan Waterparks life and flavor fixation, echoing “think he would be ok w blueberry watermelon instead of cotton candy ? asking for a friend !” and “idk if any of yall watch roll for soda on tik tok but todays soda was so parx6 coded”. Watermelon liqueur adds the sweet, affectionate softness they show toward friends and family in “guys i love sammy so much im so happy rn u dont understand” and “i love my father so much”. The sour mix and sugar rim capture their mix of biting sarcasm and genuine joy—equally capable of “yall need to either: a stop saying stupid fucking shit” and soft, be-a-fan enthusiasm in “be a fan ❤️”. Overall it’s strong, neon, slightly unhinged, and deeply fandom-coded, just like the person who proudly calls themself “greendayparx president” and the “biggest bones of '92 fan.”
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Their tweets show a strong core of care, loyalty, and service that fits Hufflepuff most. They’re literally an EMT and think in terms of patients and safety, e.g. roasting bad medical behavior like older patients who won’t treat their UTIs in “old ppl that think they can raw dog their UTIs that drink a jug a day until theyre septic” and calling out unsafe TV medicine in “homegirl did an intubation on a kid w no sedation while he was awake… im not gonna be able to finish this show”. Their loyalty to friends and family comes through constantly: deep affection for their dad in “i love my father so much”, taking care in getting a gift right for ‘Sammy’ in “THIS IS SAMMYS CHRISTMAS PRESENT… THIS IS THE MOST RELIVED IVE EVER BEEN EVER”, and pride in their EMT colleague in “me and the emt of the year (he got the award on ft. we r still in the hospital w his wife)”. They value kindness and accountability in others, shown when they insist people learn to apologize properly in “yall need to either: a stop saying stupid fucking shit b learn to stand on the things u say c learn to write an actual apology” and when they genuinely appreciate wholesome content in “this is what we need more of on this hellscape. i genuinely smiled at this”. While they have Gryffindor-style bluntness and a fiery temper in some fandom tweets, the consistent throughline is dedication, emotional warmth, and a service-oriented work ethic—classic Hufflepuff traits.
Your movie
Your song
Stupid For You - Waterparks
The best-fitting song for them is "Stupid For You" by Waterparks, because their whole online vibe revolves around unapologetic, slightly unhinged fandom and deep emotional attachment to this band. They literally describe a kid screaming for Waterparks and dancing to this exact song: “never felt more pride than when my friend's 4 year old screamed 'DALEXA PLAY THE WATERPARKS' and started dancing to stupid for you”. Their bio and timeline show that Waterparks is a huge part of their identity, with references like “greendayparx president,” “heard we r talking abt live videos @waterparks”, and obsessive commentary on Awsten, setlists, and albums. The song’s theme—being ridiculously, almost embarrassingly devoted to someone—mirrors how they talk about their faves and friends, such as “violently sobbing i love this band so much” and “guys i love sammy so much im so happy rn u dont understand”. Overall, Stupid For You captures their mix of chaotic humor, intense loyalty, and ride-or-die stan energy better than any other track.
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