
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user most closely matches Bart Simpson: a chaotic, sharp, self-deprecating troublemaker who masks vulnerability with jokes and edginess. Like Bart, they mix juvenile mischief with unexpectedly articulate takes, jumping from bit-level trolling like “Environmentalist ISIS who takfirs and tortures anyone causing deforestation” to more reflective posts such as “There is too much beauty in the world for it to not have a creator but there is so much evil tainting it it's hard to be certain”. Their gallows humor and delight in transgression mirror Bart’s prankster streak, seen in posts like “Stopped playing MMOs since I keep getting banned for bringing up 'Judaism is a tool of Satan' I should really control what I say online” and “Human sacrifice was le bad but only because nobody is worth that kind of sacrifice anymore”. At the same time, there’s a childish, restless energy in things like “First time travelling on my own ... I spend nearly all of it fucking around on my phone because I'm too tired to go anywhere” and their obsession with games and anime, very much in Bart’s eternally-13 vibe. Underneath the bravado, hints of insecurity and longing—such as “Sometimes I wish I was a cute Japanese noblewoman instead of a bearded black guy who missed some schooling due to living in warzones”—echo the way Bart occasionally reveals deeper emotional layers despite his clownish exterior.

Your MBTI personality Type
Default personality type.

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Bearded Black wanderer in China, studies languages & warzones, argues about games on trains. Once nailed a delivery call in 东北话 and felt invincible.– @jiejieneesan

Your signature cocktail
This drink starts with strong black tea with cardamom for morning-prayer testosterone and warzone resilience, echoing their line about how “The sunrise always fills me with testosterone RAAAAAH morning prayer + tea and I am set for the whole day hell yeah” link. The backbone is baijiu, a sharp Chinese spirit standing in for the chaos of being a foreigner in China who still flexes Mandarin like “Settled a delivery issue on the phone without stuttering once while speaking perfect 东北 accent 普通话。我已经成为中国人” link and plans full Hui cosplay with “I am going to wear a Hanfu and Jalabiya above each other for the full Hui larp” link. Pomegranate syrup adds a dark sweetness for the poetic, slightly romantic despair of wishing they were a “cute Japanese noblewoman instead of a bearded black guy who missed some schooling due to living in warzones” link. A dash of smoked salt captures the chain‑smoker, missile‑posting edge of lines like “The secret solution to gender dysphoria is chain smoking” link and fantasizing about “soul crushing mining job for 40 cents an hour Speedrun any%” link. Finally, a lemon peel twist gives a sharp, bright aroma to represent their sardonic humor and meta‑commentary on being terminally online, like “First time travelling on my own ... I spend nearly all of it fucking around on my phone because I'm too tired to go anywhere” link and “I LOVE BUYING BOOKS I WILL NEVER READ RAAAAAAAAA” link.

Your Hogwarts House
They show pronounced Slytherin traits: a ruthless, survival-oriented worldview, open contempt for weakness, and a comfort with violent, extremist fantasies. For example, they casually tweet about mass violence and executions, like “1000000 Dongfeng 42 missiles on Addis Ababa”, “It is no longer #KillBinZayed it's now #GrapeBinZayedandKillAbiyAhmed”, and “'barbaric' rulings like stoning make a lot more sense to me when seeing how some people behave. There are lost souls out there who deserve worse than death” – all framed with a kind of cold, strategic detachment rather than simple edginess. They’re intensely self-preserving and pragmatic, noting things like “Thank God I'm from a completely fucked country so I'm always certain my future will be horrible rather than be edged by big promises occasionally” and openly optimizing their behavior for survival and advantage. There’s also strong ambition and desire for power/status, just channeled in unconventional directions: they fantasize about being royalty or nobility (“Sometimes I wish I was a cute Japanese noblewoman instead of a bearded black guy who missed some schooling due to living in warzones”) and about radical political/military power structures (“Imagine how cool Iraq's missile program could've become if it wasn't cut off so suddenly”). While they are clearly intelligent and curious (e.g. their multilingualism and media interests), the dominant throughline is a hard-edged, opportunistic, power-obsessed mindset that aligns far more with Slytherin than with the idealism of Gryffindor, the gentleness of Hufflepuff, or the primarily academic focus of Ravenclaw.

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jiejieneesan
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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