Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Playful humor: Jokes about politics and gender, like calling himself the only flooring guy running for mayor in “Vote Joe the flooring guy for Mayor!” and posting “Gender is something the government made up to control us”, show a light, comedic tone.
- Emotional openness: Openly expresses feelings, such as “I cant believe he played me.” and “I miss my evil friend”, making him candid and vulnerable online.
- Affectionate loyalty: Repeatedly reaching out to Blaise with posts like “I miss you blaise pls unblock” and “Blaise pls i didn’t mean it (i did) plsss unblock” shows strong attachment and care for relationships.
- Self-aware irony: Meta jokes about himself, like “Grown ass man btw” and “//The real reason joe died is since he didn’t want to make a strawpage”, suggest he understands and plays with his own image.
- Enthusiastic engagement: Uses polls, reactions, and follower interactions, such as “Should i give this lucky follower a follow back?” and excitement at “HOLY SHIT WILL POWERS IS FOLLOWING ME”, showing active engagement with others.
Weaknesses:
- Unprofessional branding: Business account mixes flooring promotion with chaotic personal posts like “I cant fucking do my job my hands phase though the floor” and heavily emotional relationship drama, which can confuse clients.
- Boundary issues: Multiple public pleas to Blaise—“Blaise pls unblock” and “I miss you blaise pls unblock”—show difficulty respecting others’ space after a block.
- Inconsistent professionalism: Shifts from marketing himself as a mayoral candidate and flooring pro in “Vote Joe the flooring guy for Mayor!” to posting out-of-context personal comments like “I feel cold.” without clear separation of accounts.
- Confusing messaging: Bio and tweets combine flooring ads with cryptic lines like “Raymond Shields thin ice hes not that bad anymore” and “I do flooring Call XXX… ANY prns🥹 🕊”, making it hard to understand his main purpose.
- Overexposed vulnerability: Publicly shares intense emotions like “Sorry i never got to do your floors 😢😢😢😢” and repeated regret toward Blaise, which can invite negative reactions or reduce perceived reliability.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
Joe the flooring guy most closely matches Homer Simpson: a well-meaning, chaotic adult man whose job is blue-collar and oddly central to his identity. Like Homer proudly calling himself a safety inspector, Joe constantly foregrounds his trade, from his bio "I do flooring Call XXX XXX XXX TODAY!!" to posts like “Anyone want their walls done today? I’ll try.”. His dramatic mood swings and messy personal life—begging Blaise to unblock him in “Blaise pls i didn’t mean it (i did) plsss unblock” and “I cant believe he played me.”—mirror Homer’s emotional impulsiveness. The surreal, half-serious comments about his own death, like “//The real reason joe died is since he didn’t want to make a strawpage”, feel like something out of a weirder Simpsons episode. Finally, his combination of cluelessness and accidental allyship, as in “Dont get thebwronf idea guys i’m just an ally!!!” and the joke about gender “Gender is something the government made up to control us”, matches Homer’s tendency to stumble into social issues with goofy sincerity rather than malice.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They show strong Extraversion (E): they campaign for mayor, address followers directly, and dramatize their life online, e.g. “Voting season for the mayor in LA is coming up! And who better then Joe?! Thats right! Vote Joe the flooring guy for Mayor!”, and obsess over social connections and being followed, like “HOLY SHIT WILL POWERS IS FOLLOWING ME” and the repeated pleas to Blaise to unblock them (“Blaise pls unblock”). Their posts mix concrete flooring work with lots of playful, abstract, and offbeat ideas, pointing to Intuition (N): “Gender is something the government made up to control us” and joking meta posts like “//The real reason joe died is since he didn’t want to make a strawpage” lean toward conceptual and humorous speculation rather than practical detail. The tone is driven by feelings and relationships rather than detached logic, suggesting Feeling (F): they emphasize missing people and emotional hurt in posts like “I miss my evil friend” and “I cant believe he played me.”, and their bio’s "Any prns🥹 🕊" plus "just an ally!!!" in “Dont get thebwronf idea guys i’m just an ally!!!” show concern for inclusion and interpersonal harmony. Their behavior is spontaneous, chaotic, and unplanned, aligning with Perceiving (P): they complain that “I cant fucking do my job my hands phase though the floor”, half‑jokingly offer “Anyone want their walls done today? I’ll try.”, and impulsively muse “Should i make a strawpage for joe” without clear follow‑through. Taken together—the expressive social energy, imaginative and surreal humor, emotionally driven posts, and loose, in‑the‑moment style—ENFP fits them best.
Some pickup lines for you
- If your hands phase through the floor like you tweeted on 2025-10-23, that’s fine—just let them phase straight into holding mine instead.
- You said on 2025-11-02 that gender is something the government made up to control us; good news, then—nothing’s stopping us from being the chaotic little situationship they fear most.
- I know you miss Blaise and your ‘evil friend,’ but as the ONLY flooring guy in the country running for mayor (per 2025-10-19), you deserve someone who’ll campaign for your heart like it’s election season every day.
- You posted ‘I feel cold’ with a pic on 2025-12-08—lucky for you, I install emotional heating: starts with coffee, ends with us replaying that ‘grown ass man btw’ tweet and laughing in bed.
- You went from ‘Anyone want their walls done today? I’ll try.’ (2025-10-26) to walls, floors, and even mayoral bids—how about we break one more wall and let me be the Popplio to your 2026-02-03 tweet: small, loyal, and hopelessly in love with you.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Flooring pro & part-time wall fixer. Once tried to work after ‘phasing through’ the floor. LA-based, any pronouns. Call for quotes, not heartbreak.– @JoeFlooringGuy
Your signature cocktail
Joe on Thin Ice Highball
The spiced rum stands for Joe’s blue-collar bravado and grind as a contractor, echoing his bio declaration: "I do flooring Call XXX XXX XXX TODAY!!" while keeping the drink strong and no-nonsense. Blue curaçao gives the drink a chaotic, internet-poisoned glow, matching his all-caps mayoral campaign energy in “Voting season for the mayor in LA is coming up! And who better then Joe?! Thats right! Vote Joe the flooring guy for Mayor!”. Sparkling hard lemonade keeps things sweet, fizzy, and a little trashy-romantic, reflecting his desperate pleas in “Blaise pls i didn’t mean it (i did) plsss unblock” and “I miss you blaise pls unblock”. The absinthe mist adds a weird, ghostly kick for his surreal meta-jokes about death and glitchy existence, like “I cant fucking do my job my hands phase though the floor”. Finally, the crushed ice with edible glitter is the literal “thin ice” he’s always on—calling back to his bio’s "thin ice hes not that bad anymore" and his chaotic gender/discourse takes in “Gender is something the government made up to control us”, making this an unstable but unforgettable highball.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Joe shows a very Gryffindor mix of impulsiveness, bold emotion, and a bit of a hero complex. He dramatically frames his own situation with tweets like “I cant fucking do my job my hands phase though the floor” and “//The real reason joe died is since he didn’t want to make a strawpage”, leaning into theatrical self-sacrifice rather than quiet practicality. His over-the-top run for office in “Voting season for the mayor in LA is coming up! And who better then Joe?! Thats right! Vote Joe the flooring guy for Mayor! I’m the ONLY flooring guy in the COUNTRY! Who could be better?!” is less strategic ambition (Slytherin) and more loud, slightly reckless bravado. He wears his heart on his sleeve with the repeated, dramatic pleas to Blaise like “Blaise pls i didn’t mean it (i did) plsss unblock” and “I miss you blaise pls unblock”, showing intense, impulsive attachment rather than measured loyalty. Even his joking political and social stances, such as “Gender is something the government made up to control us”, come across as bold, slightly chaotic declarations, fitting a loud, chaotic Gryffindor more than any other house.
Your movie
Your song
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
A fitting song for Joe the flooring guy is Mr. Brightside because it captures chaotic emotion, unrequited feelings, and dramatic overreaction in a way that mirrors his timeline. His pleading posts to Blaise like “Blaise pls i didn’t mean it (i did) plsss unblock” and “I miss you blaise pls unblock” echo the song’s jealousy and desperate longing. At the same time, he keeps an upbeat, almost manic energy, campaigning with “Vote Joe the flooring guy for Mayor! I’m the ONLY flooring guy in the COUNTRY!”, which fits the song’s driving, never‑calm tempo. Even his surreal self-references like “I cant fucking do my job my hands phase though the floor” and joking about his own death in “//The real reason joe died is since he didn’t want to make a strawpage” match the melodramatic, over-the-top emotional lens of Mr. Brightside. Overall, the song’s mix of heartache, intensity, and refusal to chill aligns closely with Joe’s loud, emotional, and slightly unhinged online persona.
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