
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
@johnboothwilke embodies the rebellious, anti-authority spirit of Bart Simpson, mixing a love for heavy music with a constant desire to troll his enemies. His bio explicitly targets a leader, stating “lincoln get wrecked”, much like Bart’s perpetual defiance of Principal Skinner. He shows a classic teenage focus on coolness and gaming, celebrating when he “finally got my banger reply” and boasting about his gaming feats like “i did it i got him”. Additionally, his dramatic flair regarding minor inconveniences, such as claiming “im covered in sawdust im kms”, mirrors Bart's penchant for over-the-top reactions and mischief.

Your MBTI personality Type
@johnboothwilke demonstrates Introversion through a focus on solitary hobbies like “slowly but surely learning fade to black on bass” and a preference for digital over physical interaction. Their Intuition shows in their interest in abstract concepts and theories, such as “minecraft arg video... talking about the king in yellow”. They align with Feeling by expressing intense emotional reactions to political and social issues, such as being “so fucking tired of this stupid ass shit” regarding national events. Finally, their Perceiving trait is evident in their spontaneous and disorganized posting style, often “rescheduling my face reveal” or making sudden shifts in interest from music to video games.

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Your new Twitter bio
WV-based bassist and metal enthusiast. When I'm not learning Rickenbacker riffs or perfecting the ultimate grilled cheese, I’m probably losing at Wordle.– @johnboothwilke

Your signature cocktail
This drink packs the punch of a thrash metal riff, designed for someone who claims “i am living off of a cup of coffee and a pepsi right now i am invincible”. The dark, bitter coffee base reflects his political angst, particularly his fear that “we're being dragged into nuclear war by a man who even if he says he's christian is the antichrist itself”. The Blue Curacao adds a vibrant layer to celebrate when “LETS FUCKING GO OHIO IS BLUE”, while the sawdust garnish is a gritty nod to the time he tweeted “im covered in sawdust im kms”. It’s an experimental, high-voltage cocktail for a bass-playing 'minor' who is perpetually ready to “wreck” Lincoln.

Your Hogwarts House
John displays the quintessential Gryffindor trait of impulsive bravery and a desire to take direct action, even if it is reckless, as seen when he claims, “not if i have something to do about it”. His bio and frequent jokes about “lincoln get wrecked” showcase a defiant, confrontational spirit often associated with the House of the Lion. He is remarkably outspoken about his beliefs, even when they are unpopular or intense, such as his passionate rant against political leadership: “fuck this country im so fucking tired of this stupid ass shit”. This combination of fiery passion, a desire to be at the center of the action, and an unfiltered approach to standing up for his views firmly places him in Gryffindor.

Your movie

Your song
This song perfectly mirrors @johnboothwilke's fascination with classic metal and his darker, historically-charged online persona. He explicitly praises the track, noting that “the guitar and bass tone in the original version of am i evil is actually insane” and identifies as a fan of “underrated bands” like Diamond Head. The song’s themes of vengeance and destructive intent align with his aggressive bio and tweets, such as “lincoln get wrecked” and “lincoln not assassinated💔”. Ultimately, the track's heavy bass-driven energy suits a user who spends his time “learning fade to black on bass” while posting about political upheaval and personal rebellion.

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johnboothwilke
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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