Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Academic Background: Holds an LLB in Law and an MSc in International Relations, providing a structured foundation for his geopolitical analyses.
- Analytical Depth: Offers nuanced critiques of British right-wing political cycles and International Relations theories.
- Historical Literacy: Demonstrates extensive knowledge of Ugaritic myth and Indo-European Chaos Kampf concepts.
- Cultural Commentary: Provides sharp, humorous observations on boomer superiority complexes and generational meme styles.
- Logical Consistency: Maintains a firm stance on globalism as a tool for climate enforcement and human evolution.
Weaknesses:
- Extreme Misanthropy: Expresses a desire for a world government to "wipe it out and replace it" regarding the human race.
- Arrogant Elitism: Claims an unlikely "verifiable IQ of 240" and explicitly sides with the global elite over the masses.
- Edgy Provocation: Posts highly inflammatory content regarding child sacrifice and Nazi slogans.
- Crude Humor: Engages in low-brow commentary such as joking about a "Netanyahu OnlyFans" or using racial slurs for comedic effect.
- Aesthetic Obsession: Admits to adopting unhealthy habits like smoking purely because of the cool aesthetic of fictional characters.
Your Simpsons character
C. Montgomery Burns
Like Mr. Burns, this user identifies as a “Dark Globalist☣︎Elitist Universalist” who views the world through a lens of totalizing power and class-based supremacy, explicitly stating “I side with the global elite”. They mirror Burns’ callousness and desire for world-altering authority, advocating for a “totalising global supra national state” to enforce its will. Their intellectual vanity, claiming a “verifiable IQ of 240”, matches the ego of Springfield’s wealthiest tyrant. Ultimately, their vision to “wipe it out and replace it with something much grander” echoes the villainous ambition of a man who once tried to block out the sun.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTJ
JolaniDiddyBlud demonstrates Introversion and Intuition through a self-proclaimed “verifiable IQ of 240” and a focus on grand, abstract visions like “the biological, political and spiritual evolution of humanity”. His Thinking preference is evident in his cold, analytical approach to geopolitics, where he views international relations through “national and state interests” rather than emotional or moralistic lenses. He exhibits Judging traits by advocating for a “totalising global supra national state” to enforce order and efficiency over the perceived “slowness and corruption of nation states.” Ultimately, his persona aligns with the 'Architect' archetype: a strategic, elitist intellectual who values “class based internationalism” and long-term systemic transformation.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Syrian shawarma bossman? Because you're giving me that top-tier in-group loyalty and extra crispy attention I've been waiting for.
- I may not have a verifiable IQ of 240, but I'm smart enough to know that a world government under your rule is the only 'Dark Globalism' I'd submit to.
- Forget the Chaos Kampf and slaying Tiamat—I’d much rather help you fill up that Lotan ashtray while we discuss the political evolution of humanity.
- If we’re replacing the human race with something grander, I hope the blueprint looks exactly like you—let's facilitate some cosmic evolution tonight.
- You had me at 'LLB Law' and 'MSc International Relations,' but you really won me over when you started dragging Bill Maher’s midwitted takes.
Your 5 Emojis
- 🌐
The user identifies as a Dark Globalist and Elitist Universalist who advocates for a “supreme global authority” and a “totalising global supra national state” to replace the current system of nation states.
- ⚡
This represents the user's frequent invocations of the Brotherhood of Baal and their use of the lightning bolt symbol in tweets like “HAIL BAAL” and “sacrificing kids to Baal is more ethical than diddling them”.
- ⚖️
The user highlights their academic background in law (LLB Law) and frequently engages in detailed analysis of international relations and geopolitics, such as discussing “national and state interests” and the “Israel Russian axis”.
- 🚬
Smoking is a recurring personal theme in their timeline, from citing “Johnny sack” as the reason they started the habit to showing off their “evil snake” ashtray.
- ☣️
This symbolizes the user's self-described Nietzschean and elitist worldview, which includes a desire to “wipe out” humanity in its current form to facilitate the evolution of a “cosmic, godlike race”.
Your new Twitter bio
British-Syrian IR scholar & LLB. Exploring Nietzschean globalism, Levantine myths, and the evolution of the state. Once shared a shawarma with my mukhabarat dad.– @JolaniDiddyBlud
Your signature cocktail
The Dark Globalist’s Chaos Kampf
This experimental, high-IQ concoction is served in a 'World Reich' vessel to honor the “British Syrian Nietzchean Dark Globalist” who seeks a “supreme global authority”. The Arak base pays homage to his “ex mukhabarat dad”, while the blue tint honors “Helen of Troy's blue eyes” and his aesthetic elitism. The absinthe and nitrogen create a chilling fog of war, representing the “struggle against chaos which leads to the creation of the world,” specifically designed for someone who “sides with the global elite.” It is a drink as complex as his “verifiable IQ of 240,” best enjoyed while watching a “Johnny sack” edit.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
JolaniDiddyBlud exemplifies Slytherin ambition and elitism, explicitly stating, “Class based internationalism but I side with the global elite.” His worldview is rooted in a desire for a supreme authority to reshape humanity, arguing that a “totalising global supra national state” is the only path toward the “evolution of humanity... into a cosmic, godlike race!” He prioritizes power and results over conventional morality, even claiming that “sacrificing kids to Baal⚡️ is more ethical than diddling them” to provoke and assert intellectual dominance. Ultimately, his commitment to a “Dark Globalist” hierarchy and his disdain for the “primitive instincts” of the masses mark him as a quintessential seeker of cunning leadership and self-actualized greatness.
Your movie
Prometheus
JolaniDiddyBlud’s worldview is a blend of cosmic evolution and cold elitism, mirroring the film's search for superior creators and the replacement of obsolete humanity. He explicitly states his desire for a world government not to save people, but “to wipe it out and replace it with something much grander,” echoing the Engineers' detachment. His obsession with the “transformation of humanity from a terrestrial race into a cosmic, godlike race!” aligns with the Prometheus theme of biological and spiritual ascension. Furthermore, his fixation on ancient Levant mythologies and “worshipping Baal” provides the same dark, ritualistic backdrop found in the film’s exploration of mankind's terrifying origins. He views himself as part of a “global elite” destined for a higher purpose beyond the reach of the masses.
Your song
Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
The user's core identity revolves around a desire for totalizing global control, as seen in their claim that “I support world goverment because a supreme global authority is the only way we can genuinely, and efficiently tackle issues like climate”. This song mirrors their ambitious, elitist worldview, especially when they state, “Class based internationalism but I side with the global elite”. Their self-proclaimed “verifiable IQ of 240” and #DarkGlobalism aesthetic align with the song’s themes of power and the inevitability of change. Ultimately, their vision for a “cosmic, godlike race” through a “totalising global supra national state” captures the cold, calculated essence of wanting to reshape the entire world according to one's own design.
Your time travel destination
The Bronze Age Levant (specifically Ugarit/Ancient Syria)
The user would likely travel to the ancient Levant to witness the original religious practices of the “Brotherhood of Baal” and see the myths they admire firsthand. They have a deep obsession with Ugaritic mythology, specifically the “legendary large sea serpent slain by Hadad Baal” and the struggle against chaos. This period aligns with their Syrian heritage and their “elitist universalist” worldview, as they believe “worshipping Baal is based”. Ultimately, they seek to facilitate a “spiritual evolution” by connecting modern dark globalism with ancient, powerful roots.
Your video game
Stellaris
JolaniDiddyBlud’s worldview is defined by a hardcore, strategic, and elitist vision of planetary unification and transhumanist evolution. They openly advocate for a “supreme global authority” to facilitate the “transformation of humanity from a terrestrial race into a cosmic, godlike race,” which mirrors the 'Ascension Paths' in Stellaris. Their self-proclaimed “IQ of 240” and interest in “Dark Globalism” align perfectly with the game's mechanics of managing a 'Galactic Empire' through authoritarianism and technocracy. Furthermore, their belief that “humanity in its current form isn’t worth preserving” suggests they would enjoy the game's more ruthless options, such as world-cracking or genetic purging to reach a “much grander” state of existence.
Your spirit animal
Sphynx Cat
JolaniDiddyBlud embodies the alien, hairless aesthetic of a Sphynx—highly intelligent, elitist, and seemingly bred in a lab for a “cosmic, godlike race”. Much like this breed, they possess a regal arrogance, claiming a “verifiable IQ of 240” while looking down upon the “backwardness” of common humanity. They are a creature of high-end niches, more comfortable siding with the “global elite” than the masses. Their personality is a mix of ancient mystery and cold modernism, perfectly matching a pet that looks like it belongs in the “Brotherhood of Baal” rather than a standard home.
Your (un)funny joke
Why did the Dark Globalist get kicked out of the local gardening club? Because every time they asked him to prune the hedges, he insisted on establishing a 'New Babylawn' and replacing the grass with a more evolved, cosmic species!
Your superpower
Architectural Transhumanist Manipulation
Driven by a desire for a "supra national state" that facilitates the “biological, political and spiritual evolution of humanity”, Jolani would likely desire the power to reshape the human species at a molecular level. This power would resolve his frustration that humanity in its current form “isn’t worth preserving”, allowing him to manually replace it with “something much grander”. By manifesting his #DarkGlobalism ideology, he could use this ability to eliminate the “backwardness and self destructive ways” of modern society. Ultimately, this power would fulfill his elitist vision of accelerating the “transformation of humanity from a terrestrial race into a cosmic, godlike race!”
Your fictional best friend
Char Aznable (Gundam series)
@JolaniDiddyBlud’s obsession with the "biological, political and spiritual evolution of humanity" into a “cosmic, godlike race” perfectly mirrors Char’s Newtype philosophy. He explicitly defends the ideology of the Zeon movement, noting that “zeon’s ideology called for the independence of all spacenoids” against a corrupt terrestrial authority. His desire for a “totalising global supra national state” aligns with Char’s radical methods to force human evolution through absolute power. Furthermore, his belief that “Humanity in its current form isn’t worth preserving” echoes the Mobile Suit Gundam antagonist's disdain for those weighed down by gravity. Their shared Nietzschean elitism and vision of a “World Government Now” would make them an inseparable, albeit dangerous, pair.
Your dream vacation
Brussels, Belgium
As a self-described “British Syrian Nietzchean Dark Globalist” who advocates for a “totalising global supra national state”, the administrative heart of the European Union is the ideal destination. He explicitly supports “class based internationalism but I side with the global elite,” making the high-level diplomatic circles of Brussels his natural environment. From this vantage point, he can observe the “ineffectiveness, slowness and corruption of nation states” while networking with the professionals he believes should be sent to “help with development” in the third world. The city provides the perfect backdrop for his vision of a “supreme global authority” that transcends primitive national instincts.
Your alternate career path
International Relations Academic
Given his academic background in LLB Law and MSc International Relations, @JolaniDiddyBlud displays a rigorous analytical approach to global affairs, often critiquing “the retarded drew Pavlou conception of IR/geopolitics” in favor of state-interest models. He provides nuanced lectures on regional dynamics, such as the “Israel Russian axis” and the historical survival of “Assad’s forces” through foreign intervention. His vision for a “totalising global supra national state” to solve climate issues suggests he would thrive in a research environment dedicated to radical political theory. Ultimately, his ability to dissect “secret Assad Israeli relations” and the nature of “pariah states” aligns perfectly with a career in high-level geopolitical analysis.
Your celebrity match
Richard Spencer
@JolaniDiddyBlud shares an aggressive, elitist intellectualism that mirrors the "Alt-Right" founder’s transition from racial identitarianism to a form of eccentric globalism. He explicitly aligns himself with this archetype, stating “Richard Spencer is an honorary member of the #BrotherhoodOfBaal⚡️”. His rhetoric focuses on a “totalising global supra national state” to facilitate human evolution, echoing Spencer's own controversial shift toward supporting centralized power and the EU. Furthermore, his bio’s claim of being a “British Syrian Nietzchean Dark Globalist” matches the high-brow, provocative aesthetic used to distance himself from what he calls “boomer superiority complex” and “millennial made right wing ‘memes’”.
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