Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Academic Perseverance: He displayed dedication by passing his university entrance exam despite "the immense neurosis + extreme cold in the room + hunger."
- Passionate Sports Fan: He is a die-hard Vasco da Gama supporter who experiences intense joy, "almost shedding a tear," when his team finally wins.
- Socially Conscious: He critiques selective activism, noting the "lack of celebrity participation when children die in the favelas."
- Musical Versatility: He enjoys a wide range of genres, from "listening to Lisa Ono" to attending Lady Gaga and Ludmilla shows.
- Family Loyalty: He shows deep affection for his father, expressing distress when his "old man" is upset by sports losses.
Weaknesses:
- Financial Instability: He struggles with money management, often mentioning having only "three cents" or "two reais" in his account.
- Academic Truancy: He admits to "skipping class just to go to the beach," prioritizing leisure over his studies.
- Emotional Volatility: His mood is heavily dictated by sports, even claiming he "won't support his club even under threat of being shot" after bad results.
- Aggressive Communication: He frequently uses violent metaphors, such as threatening to "shoot three times into the air" or using harsh language toward others.
- Social Anxiety: He identifies as someone "suffering from the inevitable dark spell of anxiety" before starting new courses.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Josito shares Bart’s rebellious, thrill-seeking spirit and his tendency to run into trouble, whether it's “fleeing from the principal after trying to cut the lunch line” or “planning to skip school to go to the beach.” Like the mischievous The Simpsons star, he lives for the moment, admitting that his “habits are slightly similar to Oruam’s,” a rapper known for a chaotic lifestyle. Despite the bravado, he has a hidden soft side for his family and pop culture, which mirrors Bart’s occasional moments of sincerity. Ultimately, his mix of academic struggles, “falling off his bike,” and passion for video games perfectly captures the essence of a modern-day Bart Simpson.
Your MBTI personality Type
ISFP
Josito exhibits the Introverted (I) trait by expressing discomfort with crowds, such as noting Copacabana “ta parecendo um formigueiro pqp”, and finding peace during a digital detox. He shows Sensing (S) and Feeling (F) traits through intense emotional reactions to sensory experiences and aesthetics, seen when he mentions he’s “quase escorreu uma lagrima” over music or sports. His Perceiving (P) nature is clear in his spontaneous and casual approach to life, frequently “matar aula so pra ir na praia” or forgetting to take photos because he was “aproveitando as maravilhas do carnaval”. Overall, his tweets reflect a deeply personal, values-driven individual who prioritizes current experiences and emotional authenticity over rigid planning.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you the UERJ entrance exam? Because I’ve been stressing over you all month, but I'd be more than happy with a 33/60 if it means I get to move on to the next phase with you.
- I promise I’m nothing like that guy your mom calls 'Zé Bonitinho'—I’m more like the 'Giant of the Hill' because my heart for you is as big as Vasco da Gama.
- I heard you’re a fan of Pokémon with bad natures and low IVs, so I figured I’d shoot my shot—I might not be perfect, but I’m ready to be your next 'protegido.'
- You can keep your Spotify Wrapped a secret if you want, but I already know we’re a match since I also think listening to Laufey is a personality trait worth defending.
- If you’re worried about the third wedding anniversary happening in the same year as your military enlistment, don't be—I’m a much better 'fiel' than any of your beach buddies.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Rio native & Vasco da gama enthusiast. Future undergrad currently surviving entrance exams and unexpected car-bike collisions. Big on Bossa Nova and Pokémon.– @judgeplaces
Your signature cocktail
The Giant of the Hill’s Discursive Delight
This cocktail is a chaotic tribute to a Rio de Janeiro local who balances the “neurose imensa” of university entrance exams with a deep love for the beach and Vasco da Gama. The Cachaça base provides the punch of a fan who believes “hoje o Gigante Da Colina comerá urubu frito”, while the Bitters reflect the recurring agony of a team that has “quarto jogo seguido que o vasco da gama nao ganha”. Despite having “so me sobrou tres centavos na conta”, the Sparkling Rosé adds a touch of the 'viado' aesthetic they get teased for, specifically for “escutar anavitoria e laufey”. It is a strong, bittersweet drink served in a glass that looks like a “formigueiro” in Copacabana.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
@judgeplaces embodies the fiery and impulsive nature of a Gryffindor, frequently expressing raw emotions and a fierce protective streak. His bravery and tendency to stand up for his beliefs are evident when he claims he “won't root for this club in 2026 even under the threat of a gunshot” or celebrates political and sports victories by calling it the “2nd best September 11th in history.” He shows typical Gryffindor recklessness and nerve, admitting he would “jump off a bridge” if he failed an exam and jokingly threatening to “fire three shots into the air to celebrate the end of Twitter.” This combination of intense loyalty to his roots in Rio and his unfiltered, confrontational honesty makes him a clear fit for the house of the lion.
Your movie
Your song
A Vida é Desafio - Racionais MC's
Josito’s digital footprint captures the gritty, hopeful, and resilient lifestyle of a young resident of Rio de Janeiro, echoing the themes of survival and perseverance found in this hip-hop classic. His tweets reflect a deep emotional connection to his community and the struggle of daily life, seen when he notes “esse ano nao nevou na favela.. tacaram fogo nela”. Despite financial hardships like having “só tenho dois reais na conta” and the volatility of his favorite football team, Vasco da Gama, he maintains a focused drive toward his future. This is best exemplified by his academic perseverance, celebrating his progress by stating “passei pro exame discursivo vamos porra”. The song's message of overcoming adversity mirrors his journey from the chaos of the city to his personal victories in education and life.
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