
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They line up most closely with Marge Simpson: a tired but fiercely loving mom who is constantly holding everything together while wrestling with her own stress and anger. Like Marge, they’re overextended yet devoted, juggling work and parenting, as seen when they say “being a parent is so exhausting sometimes bc wdym i just worked at my job and then i gotta come home and tell my kid there’s no reason to lie to me about going poop”. There’s deep protectiveness and pride in their kid, reflected in tweets like “muffin has been so sweet and kind and helpful lately, and he asked for an ice cream sundae, so mama made it happen” and the excitement over his school grant in “his school is paid for through may :’)”. At the same time, Marge’s simmering frustration and moral backbone show up in their anger at bad behavior and hypocrisy, such as “we were supposed to be friends and you just lied to sleep with me when i was vulnerable” and “some of the people commenting actually shouldn’t have children, disordered or not”. They also share Marge’s tendency to quietly carry heavy emotional burdens while trying to improve, like when they write “i’m purging my socials and trying to see about getting better. i think ill always struggle mentally but im so tired of being angry all the time”. Overall, the mix of exhausted caregiver, moral center, hidden chaos, and stubborn love is very Marge-coded.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extraverted: they share constant, detailed updates about work, parenting, drama, and inside jokes with followers, and openly invite interaction, e.g. asking, “what’s every puppy up to today? i’m at work with the dogs <3” “what’s every puppy up to today? i’m at work with the dogs <3” and offering to make “a check in facetime video after work” “should i make a check in facetime video after work?”. Their style points to Intuition over Sensing: while they mention concrete details, they quickly turn them into broader meanings or narratives, like reframing betrayal as a life lesson and closure in “let this be a lesson to me: it’s not always the closure u want, but it’s the closure u got bitch!!” and discussing body-image/parenting discourse in terms of values rather than just facts “teaching kids that bodies are just bodies is A Good Thing”. They are clearly Feeling-dominant: their decisions and rants are rooted in emotional and relational concerns, such as anger at being lied to by someone they trusted “we were supposed to be friends and you just lied to sleep with me when i was vulnerable” and defending their love for their child against criticism “sorry your moms didn’t love you the way i love my kid. genuinely i feel sorry for you.”. Finally, they read as more Perceiving than Judging: they oscillate between plans and spontaneity, joking about breaking a tolerance break because “some of y’all are mean as fuck” “can’t wait to go home i’m cutting my t break short bc some of y’all are mean as fuck.” and admitting their accountability/step goals and routines get flexed around mood and life demands “my accountability thread goes on pause on the weekends since muffin is home from school and i’m off work”. Their mix of candid emotional expression, playful humor, values-driven arguments, and relatively loose structure fits ENFP best.

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Your new Twitter bio
Dog daycare mom & recovering chaos goblin. Once rearranged a whole bedroom so a 4‑year‑old could watch Pokémon on DVD. Trying to heal, still funny.– @justshutupliz

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is sweet, chaotic, and deceptively strong—just like a mom who’s cleaning her whole apartment tipsy at noon while waiting for the Puppy Bowl, as in “cleaning my whole apartment tipsy at noon, muffin is going with his dad to a super bowl party (i’m tuning in for the puppy bowl personally)”. Coconut rum nods to her Malibu sunset vibes and ritual evening drinks in tweets like “malibu sunset 🌅” and “it’s cocktail and bong rip time”. Hazelnut liqueur is there for her nutella + hazelnut dessert obsession and soft, indulgent side in “strawberry ice cream+nutella+hazelnut graham cracker toffee 💘”. Strawberry cream liqueur captures the pink, cuddly, Pokemon-and-ice-cream mom energy of “muffin has been so sweet and kind and helpful lately, and he asked for an ice cream sundae, so mama made it happen 😋🩷” and her general soft-girl aesthetic. Vanilla cream soda adds a nostalgic, kid-at-heart fizz for library days and Pokemon hauls like “pokekon haul!! omg i’m so happy rn” and “library day 🩵”. The edible glitter is for the messy, sparkly resilience of someone who can tweet “the horrors persist and yet i have to wash my hair. again. this shit never ends.” and still turn around to say “gm everypuppy <3 i read all your comments and ily. i’m purging my socials and trying to see about getting better.”.

Your Hogwarts House
They center their identity around being a hardworking, loving parent and caretaker, which is core Hufflepuff energy. You see steady, unglamorous effort and care in tweets like making special treats and outings for their child, such as “muffin has been so sweet and kind and helpful lately, and he asked for an ice cream sundae, so mama made it happen 😋🩷” and “currently rearranging muffins bedroom with his new big boy bed, waiting on his pokémon bed set to get delivered”. There’s clear loyalty and protectiveness toward their kid and loved ones: they defend their parenting and refuse judgment in tweets like “sorry your moms didn’t love you the way i love my kid. genuinely i feel sorry for you.” and “some of the people commenting actually shouldn’t have children… teaching kids that bodies are just bodies is A Good Thing.”. Their kindness extends to animals and friends—they gush about dogs and cats they care for, e.g. “me and the fuck ass doodle i ‘can’t stand’ (i actually feel so bad for him n his anxiety)”, and they celebrate small joys for their friends like doing a spell for Daisy in “full moon tonight. daisy asked me to do a love spell for her but she’s getting a cord cutting instead bc i hate that White Devil who’s attached himself to her 😋 (also she’s My Wife)”. Even while struggling with mental health and an ED, they keep showing up for work, their child, and their pets, as in “btw my accountability thread goes on pause on the weekends since muffin is home from school and i’m off work and i could probably use maintenance days anyways”, which reflects the classic Hufflepuff mix of diligence and caretaking. While they have moments of anger and sharp humor, the throughline is steady loyalty, nurturing, and a strong ethic of doing right by the people and animals who depend on them—very Hufflepuff at their core.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song for Liz is “Praying” by Kesha, because it balances trauma, anger, survival, and a stubborn push toward healing. She openly talks about betrayal and being used when vulnerable, like when she says “we were supposed to be friends and you just lied to sleep with me when i was vulnerable”, which mirrors the song’s themes of being deeply hurt by someone you trusted. At the same time, she reclaims her strength and agency, as in “bs i saved myself and you ARE just like every other guy” and reflecting on beating addiction and homelessness for her child in “i beat drug addiction and homelessness for my child”. Her mix of exhaustion and determination comes through in lines like “i’m purging my socials and trying to see about getting better. i think ill always struggle mentally but im so tired of being angry all the time”, which aligns with the song’s shift from pain to hard-won peace. Even her gallows humor and coping—smoking, drinking, and joking through ED and life stress, such as “it’s cocktail and bong rip time”—echo Kesha’s mix of vulnerability and defiant resilience in Praying.

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