
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Lisa fits best because she’s a thoughtful, emotionally intense teen who struggles with feeling out of place and misunderstood, similar to how this user talks about being on shedtwt and noticing everyone is too young, as in “are there ANY adults on shtwt omg … why is everyone like 15 i feel so bad for you!!! you shouldnt be here so so young!!!”. Like Lisa, they are highly self-aware and critical of themselves, shown in posts like “everyone deserves recovery (except me)” and “people only like me when i hurt myself”. Lisa’s character often channels deep pain into identity and aesthetics (music, activism, causes), which parallels the user’s intense, stylized way of talking about their struggles, such as “shedtwt folks who r starting at a high bmi follow me i wanna b moots”. The user’s mix of vulnerability and dark humor around their mental health, like “man i love the feeling of being hungry i love being ill”, echoes Lisa’s tendency to intellectualize and verbalize her suffering, even when no one around her really understands. While Lisa doesn’t share their specific behaviors, the core of feeling too self-aware, too intense, and not deserving of the care she gives others aligns strongly with this account.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I): their world revolves around their own inner experience, self-harm, and ED struggles, with very little mention of offline social life; even when they talk about others, it’s mostly in the context of online communities like shedtwt and shtwt, e.g. “shedtwt folks who r starting at a high bmi follow me i wanna b moots”, which shows a desire for connection but through a niche, insular space. Their focus is clearly Intuition (N): they dramatize and aestheticize their pain, like “everyone deserves recovery (except me)” and “man i love the feeling of being hungry i love being ill”, suggesting abstract self-narratives and symbolism rather than practical detail. They’re strongly Feeling (F): almost every tweet is emotional, self-evaluative, or about validation, such as “people only like me when i hurt myself” and “i take a ton of photos of my cw because im excited to post them as a comparison when i get skinny and get a ton of praise..”, emphasizing worth, affection, and shame. Lastly, they appear Perceiving (P): their behavior is impulsive and reactive—“going 2 shoplift some razors soon”, “Might steal a blade from college today…..”, and “1 like and i rub dirt in my wounds next time i cxt #normal” show spontaneity and lack of structured planning. Taken together—intense inner emotional life, self-focused idealized suffering, validation-seeking, and impulsive actions—this pattern best matches INFP.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Kai • he/it/star • college kid with dramatic hair dye phases • studies, walks too far, overshares online, still figuring it out one day at a time– @kaitomomocalz

Your signature cocktail
This experimental, high-energy cocktail swings between cute and chaotic, just like kai’s timeline—sweet on the surface but with a serious sting underneath. Electric pink cotton-candy vodka captures the hyper–kawaii aesthetic and references posts like “purged it 🩷🎀🌸🪷🌸🩷🎀🩷🌸🪷” and “BOUGHT HAIR DYEEEE”, where everything is bubbly and pastel. Sour green apple liqueur mirrors the sharp, self-destructive edge and ED focus in tweets such as “i was best bulimic today i barely ate and the lil dinner i did have i totally purged #successful” and “man i love the feeling of being hungry i love being ill”. Blackberry bitters represent the anger, frustration, and darker moods in outbursts like “FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOUUU!!!” and the self-loathing of “everyone deserves recovery (except me)”. Fizzy rose lemonade adds a light, sparkling layer for their playful, slightly dramatic vibe in posts like “KAIS FAT ASS ACTUALLY WALKING #INSANE” and the joking bravado of “1 like and i rub dirt in my wounds next time i cxt #normal”. Finally, edible silver star glitter is for the celestial, pronoun-filled identity in the bio (he/it/star) and intro tweet “kai ノ apollo⠀𓂃 ⊹ he ノ star⠀☆彡”, making the drink shimmer like a tiny, unstable galaxy in a glass.

Your Hogwarts House
Their mindset is intensely self-focused and goal-driven in a way that aligns with Slytherin’s darker ambition and self-destructive form of resourcefulness. They show a fixation on transforming their body for external validation, writing that they take pictures of their current weight because they’re “excited to post them as a comparison when i get skinny and get a ton of praise” “i take a ton of photos of my cw because im excited to post them as a comparisonwhen i get skinny and get a ton of praise..”, which reflects a strategic, outcome-oriented mindset. They also frame their eating disorder in competitive, achievement terms, saying “i was best bulimic today i barely ate and the lil dinner i did have i totally purged #successful,” treating self-harmful behaviors as success metrics, a twisted form of ambition. There’s a willingness to use whatever means necessary to pursue these goals, like planning to steal or shoplift tools for self-harm: “going 2 shoplift some razors soon” and “Might steal a blade from college today…..,” which shows resourcefulness directed toward harmful ends rather than rule-following. Even their joke about loving being ill — “man i love the feeling of being hungry i love being ill” — underscores a drive to embrace extremity if it serves their self-image, reinforcing a Slytherin-style intensity rather than the values of the other houses.

Your movie

Your song
Billie Eilish’s “Bury a Friend” fits Kai because it captures a mix of self-destructive impulses, dark humor, and vulnerability that runs through their tweets. The song’s themes of hurting yourself and feeling like your own worst enemy mirror tweets like “people only like me when i hurt myself” and “man i love the feeling of being hungry i love being ill”. Its eerie, chaotic energy also reflects their posts about cutting and blades, such as “going 2 shoplift some razors soon” and “UGHH I NEED TO BUY MORE BLADES….”. At the same time, the song’s underlying sense of exhaustion and confusion fits tweets like “actually miserable sighh” and “everyone deserves recovery (except me)”. Overall, the track’s blend of morbidity, vulnerability, and a kind of stylized horror aesthetic matches their shedtwt identity and the way they present their struggles online.

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