
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Gia shares Lisa's frequent bouts of existential dread and disillusionment with the systems around her, particularly regarding school. Much like Lisa's cynical moments, Gia expresses that “College has made me realize how deeply suicidal I am” and struggles with a “loop of lethargy and self sabotage”. While she possesses a drive to succeed and hit specific goals, she often feels isolated, missing friends and lamenting that “I wish that I could drop out of college and just rot to death”. Ultimately, her profile reflects the 'Sad Lisa' archetype—a highly self-aware, intellectual young woman overwhelmed by the weight of her own expectations and the world.

Your MBTI personality Type
Gia exhibits Introversion through her preference for 'rotting' alone and her struggle with the social demands of work and college, noting “I miss my high school friends we're all so busy now”. Her Sensing trait is dominant in her focus on immediate physical sensations, aesthetics, and beauty, such as her obsession with “black nail polish” and her detailed sensory reaction to a “bowl of ramen”. As a Feeling type, she is highly driven by her internal emotional state and subjective values, frequently posting about her “suicidal” feelings and a desire to “feel something”. Finally, her Perceiving nature is clear from her admitted “no self control” and her frequent struggles with spontaneity and procrastination, such as when she “cannot be bothered” to wash off her makeup.

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Your new Twitter bio
Accounting student and pizzeria veteran. When I’m not balancing ledgers or perfecting my winged liner, I’m likely home with my cats or playing Skyrim.– @kalicolvr

Your signature cocktail
This potent, experimental concoction is inspired by Gia’s chaotic lifestyle and her preference for a liquid diet, as she once posted that "Omad today is 5 shots of grey goose 💀". The energy drink splash represents her struggle with lethargy, while the hot sauce rim pays homage to her survival strategy because "Thank goodness for hot sauce" when dieting. The drink is strong and bitter, mirroring her feelings towards school where she admits "College has made me realize how deeply suicidal I am", yet it's finished with a sweet cherry to represent the "BTS phase" and makeup she still loves.

Your Hogwarts House
Gia demonstrates the Slytherin trait of resourcefulness through a calculating approach to her goals, notably observing that she “def lose more weight when eating 800 1000 cals per day as opposed to like 200” to maintain her ability to function. Her ambition is underscored by a self-preservation instinct that prioritizes her own aesthetic and professional desires, such as wanting to spend refund money on a psychiatrist “so that i can get medicated and be able to properly function”. Furthermore, she displays a blunt, ends-justify-the-means pragmatism by admitting she watches others' struggles because it “genuinely helps me fast”. While she struggles with motivation, her focus remains entirely on her personal evolution, whether it is reaching a “gw” or her regret over choosing accounting over her true passion for cosmetology.

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Gia’s online presence is defined by the heavy emotional and physical toll of her eating disorder, echoing the song's themes of body dissatisfaction and the pursuit of an impossible ideal. She frequently expresses a cycle of self-sabotage and despair, tweeting, “God I just feel like I'm trapped in this loop of lethargy and self sabotage”. The lyrics' focus on counting calories and the desire to change one's appearance matches her admission that she “def lose more weight when eating 800 1000 cals per day as opposed to like 200”. Furthermore, her struggle with college-induced depression and a lack of motivation to live—seen when she says, “I wish that I could drop out of college and just rot to death”—aligns with the song's raw, youthful melancholy. Ultimately, her desire for a different life and body, such as wanting to “go back to blonde” or achieve a specific physique, perfectly mirrors the Prom Queen narrative of seeking worth through aesthetic transformation.

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