Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: Openly reflects on patterns like binge cycles and plateaus, e.g. acknowledging gaining weight back in “i’m back… and unfortunately had a 4 month long binge cycle last year and gained ALL my weight back”.
- Goal-oriented: Regularly sets concrete weight goals and timelines, such as monthly targets in “i need to come up with weight loss goals for each month to be more motivated”.
- Reflective: Uses the account like a journal to process thoughts, shown in “ranting ab my weight loss plans on edtwt is like a journal, no one actually cares but putting my thoughts into writing motivates me more”.
- Emotionally honest: Shares fears and embarrassment openly, like feeling exposed after posting on main in “JUST ACCIDENTALLY POSTED ED RELATED TWEET ON MAIN OH HELL NOOO”.
- Empathetic: Dislikes others being body-shamed and reflects on it, shown in “we heard some random girls talking shit abt some girls body — and then when we left we were like what even was that?? and she started fat shaming THEM to me (which OBVIOUSLY i don’t like”.
Weaknesses:
- Disordered-eating: Describes severe restriction, fasting, and using laxatives as weight-loss tools, e.g. “ever since i started drinking lax teas my food guilt has gone DOWNNN”.
- Harsh self-judgment: Talks about looking like a failure if weight loss isn’t visible, as in “if i don’t then i just look like a failure”.
- Health-neglect: Normalizes worrying symptoms like faintness and worms without prioritizing medical care, e.g. “was so close to fainting on the bus this morning never been so scared”.
- Body-obsession: Constantly fixates on numbers and body parts, as seen in comparisons and progress posts like “lost alot of weight in my face thanks but can my hipdips and arms come next?”.
- Extremist-mindset: Frames goals in all-or-nothing terms with threats of self-harm or ‘horrible things’ if goals aren’t met, e.g. “if this doesnt work and i just gain weight that i cant lose ill actuallly do horrible things”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They’re most similar to Lisa Simpson, but in a very specific, hyper-focused era of hers. Lisa, when she locks onto a goal, becomes obsessive, analytical, and self-critical—just like this user carefully tracking numbers and milestones, for example mapping out future weights in detail: “i could try to be 78 by the end of february if i really lock in bc that’s only 3 kg in three weeks and then be 74 by end of march which is also only a kg a week and then like 70 by ens of april”. The user constantly ties their self-worth to achievement and visible progress, like unpin goals and needing others to notice: “my sister’s boyfriend apparently told his mom that i’m starving myself… so i must lose visible weight by then bc if i don’t then i just look like a failure” and “saw my cousin… the first thing she said… ‘wtf you’ve lost so much weight’ the euphoria that sentence gave me was brazy”. Lisa often intellectualizes her struggles and creates rigid plans, similar to the way this user treats their account like a journal and motivation system: “ranting ab my weight loss plans on edtwt is like a journal, no one actually cares but putting my thoughts into writing motivates me more... plus it makes me feel like i have something to prove”. There’s also the same mix of high standards and self-criticism—celebrating wins but never feeling it’s enough, as seen in both their excitement and frustration with plateaus: “plateauing AGAIN it’s been a week now PLS get me out of jail i beg”. Overall, they resemble Lisa when she’s channeling all her intelligence and emotional intensity into one consuming goal, pushing herself hard even when it clearly hurts.
Your MBTI personality Type
ISFJ
They read as more introverted than extroverted: most tweets are like a private diary about weight, bowel issues, and anxiety rather than about going out or big social circles, and even their embarrassment is about being exposed, e.g. “JUST ACCIDENTALLY POSTED ED RELATED TWEET ON MAIN OH HELL NOOO AND IK FOR A FACT AN IRL OF MINE HAS NOTIFS ON”. Their focus is very concrete and sensory—exact kilos, calories, laxatives, constipation, and visible body parts—rather than abstract theories, like “i could try to be 78 by the end of february… that’s only 3 kg in three weeks and then be 74 by end of march… and then like 70 by ens of april” and “doing a metabolism day today because i’ve been plateuing for five days whilst eating lit 200kcal/day”. Their decisions are primarily feeling-based, heavily influenced by how others perceive them and by guilt; for example “my sister’s boyfriend apparently told his mom that i’m starving myself… so i must lose visible weight by then bc if i don’t then i just look like a failure” shows people-pleasing and shame rather than detached logic, and they worry about upsetting their mom in “it’s my mom’s birthday on wednesday so i’ll have to eat otherwise she’ll be sad”. They show a strong judging preference through constant planning, timelines, and target weights, like “i need to come up with weight loss goals for each month to be more motivated” and “my plan is to be under 80kg by the 12th of june... then go all in on the summer and lose around 10+ kg”. Taken together—private, diary-like posting (I), fixation on concrete bodily details and numbers (S), emotional and approval-sensitive reasoning (F), and structured goal-setting with anxiety about lapses (J)—they most closely resemble an ISFJ profile.
Some pickup lines for you
- You keep talking about ‘metabolism day’ like it’s some mythical 2022 edtwt ritual, but if we go on a date I promise the only thing speeding up will be your heart rate, not your weight loss chart.
- You said you’ve never worked out while restricting, so how are you explaining the way you’ve been running through my mind since that ‘skinny era coming soon’ bio?
- You’re out here unpinning at 78kg, 75kg, 72kg like it’s a saga, but if you ever need a new milestone, I volunteer as the person you unpin for when you finally choose peace over plateaus.
- You lost 41 lbs and still said you don’t see a difference—wild, because I scrolled your timeline once and immediately saw a 100% increase in my standards.
- You joke about ‘metabolism days’, lax teas, and speedrunning out of the 80s, but honestly your best glow-up arc would be the one where you start treating yourself as kindly as you treat that perfect yogurt bowl with fresh strawberries.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Loren | documenting the chaos of plateaus, popcorn regrets & “metabolism days” — constipated, caffeinated, still somehow optimistic– @kcalsneg
Your signature cocktail
The Metabolism Daydream
The Metabolism Daydream is a jittery, hopeful mix that captures their endless plotting of weight-loss timelines and ‘metab days,’ like when they said they were “patiently waiting for my metab day on saturday” “patiently waiting for my metab day on saturday”. Vodka infused with black coffee reflects their wired, appetite-suppressant grind and the way they hype up caffeine as a tool, as in “i need to start drinking black coffee again it’s such a good appetite suppressant”. Bright grapefruit juice stands for those flashes of confidence and euphoria when progress shows, like “just took some progress photos… this is the first time ever that i’m genuinely gaping at the difference”. Light tonic water keeps it fizzy but restrained, mirroring their constant calculations and controlled chaos around goals such as “i need to come up with weight loss goals for each month to be more motivated”. A dash of bitters represents the plateau frustration and self-pressure in tweets like “plateauing AGAIN it’s been a week now PLS get me out of jail i beg”, while the salted popcorn rim nods to their salty, snack-craving side and scale anxiety after treats, as seen in “weighed 0.2kg more today than yesterday because I had a bowl of popcorn yesterday 🥲🥲 but it’s probably because i put like a kilo of salt in it”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Their mindset is intensely goal- and results-driven in a way that aligns strongly with Slytherin ambition. They break down long-term weight goals into aggressive timelines like “i could try to be 78 by the end of february if i really lock in bc that’s only 3 kg in three weeks and then be 74 by end of march which is also only a kg a week and then like 70 by ens of april” and frame whole months and years around transformation plans such as “2025 IS MY YEAR ‼️‼️‼️ hopefully.. I gotta be skinny before 2027 tho cus no way in hell am I graduating looking like ash trevino ITS NOT HAPPENING”. They are also highly strategic and willing to use extreme methods (fasting, laxatives, "metabolism days") as tools: for example, “my logic is that i binge and drink a lax tea then fast the next day, binge is erased 🙏🏻😂❤️” and “doing a metabolism day today because i’ve been plateuing for five days whilst eating lit 200kcal/day” show calculated, if unhealthy, tactics to get what they want. Social perception and image also matter a lot to them, another Slytherin marker: they’re driven to change by how others will see them, as in “i must lose visible weight by then bc if i don’t then i just look like a failure” and the euphoria they describe when noticed: “the first thing she said when she saw me was ‘wtf you’ve lost so much weight’ the euphoria that sentence gave me was brazy”. While they show some humor and self-awareness, nearly all of it feeds back into an ambitious, image-focused project of reinvention, making Slytherin the best fit over the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
Skinny - RaeLynn
A fitting song for them is Skinny by RaeLynn, which captures the obsession with weight and the toll it takes. Their bio, “skinny era coming soon!”, and constant goal-setting like “i need to come up with weight loss goals for each month to be more motivated” mirror the song’s fixation on becoming smaller at any cost. They repeatedly talk about extreme behaviors such as “okay y’all i’m fasting til monday 🙏🏻🙏🏻” and using laxatives: “ever since i started drinking lax teas my food guilt has gone DOWNNN”, which lines up with the song’s portrayal of damaging methods to chase thinness. There’s also the desperate emotional tone when they say things like “plateauing AGAIN it’s been a week now PLS get me out of jail i beg”, echoing the song’s sense of being trapped in body-image anxiety. Overall, Skinny reflects both their longing for validation through visible weight loss and the emotional struggle underneath their restrictive habits and constant plateaus.
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