Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Creative fan: They invent scenarios and running bits about Drake/Kendrick, like imagining Madonna/Britney’s VMA kiss as them in “madonna and britney spears kissing at the vmas but it’s kendrick and drake” and joking about the ‘drake burger’ in “drake burger… im so excited to eat drakes buns”.
- Humorous self-awareness: They frequently make themselves the punchline, as in “ceo of the slop factory makes a comment on chilledspear: ‘he’s just too quick, we can’t possibly make as much slop as him…’” and “how have i gained followers i should have lost like 10”.
- Observant analyst: They notice nuanced differences between artists, like in “comparing interviews and articles you can definitely tell the stark difference of drake on camera… but i think kendrick is more genuine” and in “i think drake treats love like a physical possession… more then a connection”.
- Consistent dedication: They put sustained effort into their niche—archiving, drawing, and TikToks—evident in “looking for archives tour footage is technically finding lost media” and “dont worry… im still the kendrake guy…. more drawings of them making out..”.
- Playful engagement: They interact with fandom jokes and discourse in a light way, for example “scared of liking kendrick posts now #fuckmylife #fuckitall” and their reaction to Tumblr discourse in “half the people on tumblr saying you should end your own life if you ship kendrake…”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-deprecating extremes: They joke harshly about themselves and mortality, like “100 follower special i die in real life” and “FUCK MY FAT FUCKING LIFE FUCK IT ALL”, which can come off as worrying or overly negative.
- Sexual fixation: Their humor leans heavily on sexual content about real people, e.g. “ICEMAN CUMMING SOON” in the bio and “i’d rather listen to Drake moaning in my ear for 12 hours”, which can be uncomfortable or inappropriate, especially given their ambiguous age in the bio.
- Harsh language: They use strong insults and profanity, such as “ugly fucking babies” and “THIS IS SUCH A STUPID TAKE… you kbots are so stupid”, which may alienate some followers.
- Oversharing obsession: They repeatedly emphasize extreme levels of fixation, like “it’s 150 videos now” and “i have 90 images of him in the same hoodie”, which can read as unhealthy or overwhelming to others.
- Ambiguous age: Their location line “between 1 and 17 years old” and comment “my bio makes me schrödinger's minor” create confusion about their age while they post explicit jokes, which can cause discomfort and potential boundary issues.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
They line up closest with Bart Simpson: chaotic, obsessive about their interests, and constantly pushing the line between horny jokes and getting in trouble. Like Bart fixating on pranks, this user obsessively spirals about Drake and Kendrick, writing things like “dont worry… im still the kendrake guy…. your suffering will not end.. more drawings of them making out..” and “sometimes i think original thoughts nobody has had ever madonna and britney spears kissing at the vmas but it’s kendrick and drake”. Their humor is loud, shameless, and a little vulgar, as in “drake burger… im so excited to eat drakes buns 🤤” and the bio joke “ICEMAN CUMMING SOON.” At the same time, they show flashes of self‑aware melodrama and overreaction—very Bart—when they say things like “100 follower special i die in real life” and “CAPCUT PUT A RANDOM LINE IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE OF MY VIDEOS I HATE MY LIIIIFFFEEEEEE”. Even their joking about being a minor in the bio and tweeting “my bio makes me schrödinger's minor” fits Bart’s perpetual-teen energy—mischievous, boundary-poking, but ultimately more goofy than malicious.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They read as an Extrovert (E): they constantly share thoughts in real time, joke about followers and public attention, and treat X as a social playground, e.g. “how have i gained followers i should have lost like 10” and “NORMAL PEOPLE HAVE FOUND MY TIKTOK PAGE”. Their humor and interests are idea‑driven rather than concrete, pointing to Intuition (N): they spin fanciful scenarios like “madonna and britney spears kissing at the vmas but it’s kendrick and drake” and interpret behavior into big-picture takes such as “i think drake treats love like a physical possession…”. They show strong Feeling (F) preferences, making value-based, emotional comments rather than detached logic, for instance “i honestly don’t care how long the beef drags on because i giggle and kick my feet when they talk about each other” and self-deprecating, affect-heavy posts like “FUCK MY FAT FUCKING LIFE FUCK IT ALL”. Finally, they look very Perceiving (P): their posting style is chaotic, impulsive, and anti-structured—“i’m just posting anything please save me” and “every time i say there can’t be more there’s more”—with procrastination on projects like fanfic updates in “got upset a fanfic wasnt finished even though i haven’t updated mine in months”. Putting this together, their loud online presence, imaginative shipping, emotionally charged commentary, and spontaneous messiness are most consistent with ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- So… if your bio makes you Schrödinger’s minor, does that mean I’m both cancelled and in love with you until we open the box and confirm you’re actually between 1 and 17 I mean 17 and 1 years old?
- You said the song you most associate with Kendrick and Drake is the Scott Pilgrim movie one—so are you Ramona in this situation? Because I’m fully prepared to fight all your 150 Drake videos like evil exes for your attention.
- You keep saying you’re ‘just posting anything’ and yet you’re out here writing whole character studies on how Drake treats love like a physical possession—can I apply to be your next overanalyzed relationship subject?
- You have 90 images of him in the same hoodie and 40 million pics of Kendrick at that BET show… statistically speaking, shouldn’t at least one of those frames be us, in the crowd, sharing headphones and screaming ‘ICEMAN COMING SOON’ together?
- If ‘ceo of the slop factory’ says they can’t keep up with your Kendrake content, maybe you need a co‑manager—I can handle archives tour footage, take over #that post damage control, and still save enough energy to gently hold your beautiful, beautiful face at the end of the day.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Archivist of Drake & Kendrick lore. Once got a vinyl in a garbage bag and called it a blessing. Opinions, edits & overanalysis are my full-time job.– @kendrakehatesex
Your signature cocktail
ICEMAN CUMMING SOON Sour
This drink is named after their looping bio mantra “ICEMAN COMING SOON 🥶👀 ICEMAN COMING SOON 🥶👀 ICEMAN CUMMING SOON 🥶👀”, capturing both the icy obsession and unhinged humor. The vodka with blue curaçao ice cubes is cold, dramatic stan energy, like when they scream about Drake’s fast-food collab and dreams of “drake burger… im so excited to eat drakes buns 🤤”. Spicy ginger beer stands for the chaotic, slightly feral edge behind posts like “i’m not gay im just really passionate about another man” and the all-caps meltdowns over broken apps and slop. Cloudy lemonade adds a sweet-sour teen angst vibe, matching their self-dragging about being the "kendrake guy" and lines like “why couldn’t i have been really into math or something why‘d it have to be two real life grown men”. The splash of cherry liqueur is the blush of hopeless shipper romance every time they giggle over the beef in “i honestly don’t care how long the beef drags on because i giggle and kick my feet when they talk about each other”. Finally, the pop rocks rim mirrors their explosive, chronic-posting slop factory persona from “ceo of the slop factory makes a comment on chilledspear: “he’s just too quick, we can’t possibly make as much slop as him…””, turning every sip into loud, chaotic notifications in your mouth.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
This user shows a strong combination of curiosity, analysis, and creative pattern‑making that fits Ravenclaw best. They dissect Drake and Kendrick’s behavior and public personas with a surprisingly reflective lens, e.g. in “i think drake treats love like a physical possession and a necessity in life more then a connection between him and another person” and “comparing interviews and articles you can definitely tell the stark difference of drake on camera because of his experience acting compared to kendrick, but i think kendrick is more genuine because of the way he speaks like it’s a normal conversation”. They also treat tracking down obscure clips and images like research, as in “looking for archives tour footage is technically finding lost media but i’m never calling it that” and “video where drake mentions kendrick under 1k views with nobody in the comments talking about it aging poorly”, which shows an archivist / media‑nerd instinct. Their creativity and meta‑humor around fanfic and shipping, such as “‘kendrick and drake’… ‘sloppy’… ‘make out’… ‘behind stage after show’ IM BRILLIANT!” and the self‑aware joke “my bio makes me schrödinger's minor”, reveals quick wit and playful intellectualism. While there’s emotional intensity and a bit of chaos, the throughline is an obsessive, almost scholarly engagement with their interests and a tendency to analyze people and media, which is quintessentially Ravenclaw rather than the more ambition‑driven Slytherin or loyalty‑centered Hufflepuff.
Your movie
Your song
Headlines - Drake
The best fit for them is Drake – Headlines, because the song is about being obsessively wrapped up in Drake’s world and not caring how that looks to anyone else, which mirrors their whole online persona. They constantly center Drake in their life, from joking that “i’d rather listen to Drake moaning in my ear for 12 hours 🙄” to thirsting over him with lines like “How the hell does drake not have a wife? … it doesn’t matter if we’re both boys please”. The chaotic confidence of Headlines fits their self-aware ‘too online’ energy, like when they say “dont worry… im still the kendrake guy…. your suffering will not end.. more drawings of them making out..”. The song’s mix of cocky humor and genuine emotion reflects how they bounce between jokes and real feelings, such as “i honestly don’t care how long the beef drags on because i giggle and kick my feet when they talk about each other”. Just like Headlines is Drake leaning fully into being "that guy," this account leans fully into being the over-the-top Drake (and Kendrick) obsessive without apology.
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