Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: Calls it a “spam account and overall WEIRD account” in bio and jokes about being “diseased” in “I am so diseased”, showing awareness of their own behavior.
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares fears and needs in “Im scared my friends will fall in love and abandon me” and “Wanting someone to loveeeeee me but not letting anyone get too close is a strange kund of pain”.
- Humorous: Uses absurd, playful phrasing like “Jacksepticeye oh jacksepticeye where are you 🤔 jack septic eye ? Why so septic eye…” and over-the-top posts like “IM TRYING TO HAVE A WANK BRO”.
- Openly sexual: Comfortably expresses desire and attraction in posts like “Bro i want a very masculine man to kiss me” and “Someone PLEASE crush on me”.
- Community-engaging: Directly addresses followers and friends in interactive posts like “How would u guys react if I said I had gooned to one of you” and asks for responses or engagement.
Weaknesses:
- Risk-seeking: Asks for dangerous behavior in “Ayo someone give me £30 for another bottle of dxm and we can share and have fun together🥹” and “someone put a cigarette out on me for an experiment”.
- Sex-obsessed: Frequent fixation on masturbation and sexual acts in posts like “Need a wank to kenny twd”, “Cab someone pls herk off yo me”, and “IM TRYING TO HAVE A WANK BRO”.
- Boundary-blurring: Talks about gooning to specific people and grooming themes in “How would u guys react if I said I had gooned to one of you” and “Can wallace wells groom me”, which can make others uncomfortable.
- Low self-esteem: Self-deprecating tone in posts like “Nothing wrong witb me” and needing external validation in “Someone PLEASE crush on me” and “Awwww im goonable #selfesteemboost”.
- Emotional instability: Swings between joking and distress, referencing “kenny psycosis” in “Lowkey going yhrough kenny psycosis idk what that is” and threatening to leave in “Deleting this account”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
This user most closely matches Bart Simpson, with a chaotic, horny-teen gremlin energy, lots of boundary-pushing jokes, and a tendency to court trouble for the thrill of it. Their timeline is full of deliberately provocative, juvenile sexual posts like “Cab someone pls herk off yo me”, “IM TRYING TO HAVE A WANK BRO”, and “What if i have a wank when pats asleep”, which mirrors Bart’s constant flirtation with inappropriateness and taboo. They describe themselves as a “spam account and overall WEIRD account,” and tweets like “I am so diseased” and “Lowkey going yhrough kenny psycosis idk what that is” fit Bart’s dramatic, self-deprecating melodrama. At the same time, there’s a vulnerable undercurrent beneath the bravado—“Im scared my friends will fall in love and abandon me” and “Wanting someone to loveeeeee me but not letting anyone get too close is a strange kund of pain”—which aligns with Bart’s occasional displays of loneliness and fear of rejection. Overall, their mix of horny jokes, edgy stunts like “Heeey someone put a cigarette out on me for an experiment haaahaha #plase #please”, and masked emotional pain is very Bart-coded.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extrovert (E) because they constantly seek interaction, attention, and validation from others, openly broadcasting desires like “Someone PLEASE crush on me”, “Hello men”, and asking “How would u guys react if I said I had gooned to one of you”. Their posts suggest Intuition (N) through dramatic, imaginative, and emotionally charged statements rather than practical details, such as “Lowkey going yhrough kenny psycosis idk what that is” and the oddly poetic “Jacksepticeye oh jacksepticeye where are you 🤔 jack septic eye ? Why so septic eye…”. They are strongly Feeling (F): their tweets revolve around emotions, love, fear of abandonment, and being wanted, like “Wanting someone to loveeeeee me but not letting anyone get too close is a strange kund of pain” and “Im scared my friends will fall in love and abandon me”, rather than logical analysis. The Perceiving (P) side shows in their chaotic, impulsive, and unfiltered posting style, from openly sexual joking like “What if i have a wank when pats asleep” and “IM TRYING TO HAVE A WANK BRO” to spontaneous, unserious self-descriptions such as “I am so diseased” and labeling it a “spam” and “WEIRD” account in their bio. Overall, the high emotional intensity, craving for connection, playful weirdness, and lack of structure fit ENFP better than other types.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’re ‘wanting someone to loveeeeee’ you but won’t let anyone get too close… what if we start at a safe distance, talk about Kenny TWD for three hours, and then slowly reduce the emotional draw distance?
- You keep begging Twitter for ‘someone PLEASE crush on me’ — I volunteer as tribute, but fair warning: I crush like a truck-kun, not a gentle lil tap.
- You said you’re ‘lowkey going yhrough kenny psycosis’ — if loving you like I love Kenny TWD counts as psychosis, then I’m ready for the padded cell as long as you’re my roommate.
- You want a ‘very masculine man to kiss’ you, but also tweet about being aromantic and weird — allow me to submit an application as your emotionally confusing, masc-coded, goon-safe situationship.
- You’re out here manifesting, asking if someone would ‘goon to one of you,’ and wondering who’ll ‘diddle’ you — how about we skip the timeline thirst and just go on a date in Leeds where the only experiment is seeing how long it takes you to laugh-snort at my jokes?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
18 | Leeds-based chaos enthusiast. Once asked the internet for £30 and life advice at the same time. Here for odd thoughts, not serious beef.– @kidwyck
Your signature cocktail
The Gorny Twin Experiment
The Overproof spiced rum is the unhinged core, matching their chaotic, horny bravado in posts like “IM TRYING TO HAVE A WANK BRO” and “Need a wank to kenny twd”. Cherry liqueur adds a sticky, flirty sweetness for the desperate crush-posting in “Someone PLEASE crush on me” and “Bro i want a very masculine man to kiss me”. The jittery caffeinated tonic water captures their anxious, overthinking heart, like “Im scared my friends will fall in love and abandon me” and “Wanting someone to loveeeeee me but not letting anyone get too close is a strange kund of pain”. A dash of absinthe channels their self-described weirdness and experimental edge from “this is a spam account and overall WEIRD account” and the off-kilter roleplay in “Lowkey going yhrough kenny psycosis idk what that is”. Finally, blackcurrant syrup darkens the drink with emo sweetness for lines like “I am so diseased” and the masochistic chaos of “Heeey someone put a cigarette out on me for an experiment haaahaha”, making the whole cocktail feel like a late-night shitpost in liquid form.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
This account leans strongly Slytherin because of its mix of self‑aware transgressiveness, desire for power in relationships, and willingness to push boundaries for personal gratification. They repeatedly frame themselves as manipulative or provocative in sexual/social dynamics, e.g. openly courting being objectified in tweets like “Someone PLEASE crush on me” and “Cab someone pls herk off yo me”, which shows a calculated courting of attention rather than simple vulnerability. There is a clear pattern of using shock and taboo for effect, such as “Heeey someone put a cigarette out on me for an experiment haaahaha #plase #please and not in the depressing way” and “Ayo someone give me £30 for another bottle of dxm and we can share and have fun together🥹”, pointing to risk‑embracing self‑indulgence and a willingness to exploit others’ interest. Slytherins are often intensely focused on their own desires and image, and this is evident in their fixation on being "goonable" and desired, as in “Awwww im goonable #selfesteemboost” and “How would u guys react if I said I had gooned to one of you…", where they treat others almost as pieces in their own erotic game. Even the bio, calling it a "spam account and overall WEIRD account" and specifying "preferably 16+", shows a self‑curated persona that plays with limits and reputation—very in line with Slytherin’s image‑conscious, boundary‑testing nature. While there’s anxiety and longing under the surface, the dominant traits expressed are provocative self‑interest, calculated shock value, and a relentless pursuit of their own urges, which fits Slytherin more than any other house.
Your movie
Your song
Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus
The song Teenage Dirtbag fits them because it captures being a self-aware, slightly chaotic teen who leans into being weird and undesirable while still craving affection, just like their bio: “18, this is a spam account and overall WEIRD account”. They repeatedly mix horny jokes with loneliness and insecurity, asking for attention in over-the-top ways, like “Someone PLEASE crush on me” and “Wanting someone to loveeeeee me but not letting anyone get too close is a strange kund of pain”, which echoes the song’s themes of wanting love while feeling like an outsider. Their posts about being scared of abandonment, like “Im scared my friends will fall in love and abandon me”, match the song’s insecure, underdog perspective. Even their extreme, messy humor—such as “I am so diseased” and “Someone diddle me”—lines up with the self-deprecating, misfit energy that Teenage Dirtbag romanticizes. Overall, the combination of horny jokes, emotional volatility, and self-labeled weirdness makes this song a strong thematic match.
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