Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Witty intelligence: Blends humour and analysis in posts like deriving philosophy from Simpsons in “i derive a lot of my understanding of contemporary philosophy from Simpsons references, much like many esteemed scholars.” and mocking determinism in “i subscribe to determinism, and, therefore, reject the notion of free will…”.
- Cultural curiosity: Shows wide interests—Joyce, Schopenhauer, zeppelins, Bloomsday, theology, politics, late-night TV—in tweets like “whenever i need a reason to cry, i reread joyce’s ‘eveline’…” and “what became of rigid airships?”.
- Self-awareness: Openly reflects on her own habits and flaws in posts like “in pursuit of spiritual purity, i temporarily distanced myself from condescension… my soul yearns for the inclination to condescend” and “upon further self reflection, i believe i love hugs too much for this to be a sustainable way of life for me.”.
- Affectionate loyalty: Shows warmth toward friends, family, and animals—turtles in “i’ve found myself in the gentle company of lauren’s brothers two turtles…”, her parents in “my parents marrying on the twelfth, poetic irony and all, remains the greatest unifying force on this island”, and farm animals in “attempting, albeit unsuccessfully, to teach the farm animals irish.”.
- Moral awareness: Engages with political and ethical issues, criticizing state violence or propaganda in posts like “the cognitive dissonance it must take to see the israeli government’s indiscriminate bombing of gaza…” and “why is the israeli foreign minister posting fucking hamas x ireland shitpost edits to his official twitter account???”.
Weaknesses:
- Cynical outlook: Frequently frames experiences through pessimism, as in “this app is wearing me down, like a slow degenerative brain disease.” and “i’m perpetually waiting to go to sleep.”.
- Judgmental tone: Often dismisses others harshly, like threatening to headlock people over video essayists in “i’m gonna put u in a headlock and not let go until you denounce youtube video essayists.” and calling people “heathens” in “the art of tasteful sideboob is completely lost on u heathens.”.
- Emotional avoidance: Mocks overt emotional expression instead of engaging with it, like in “i will never understand the urge to record yourself in floods of tears and post it to social media. where is the grace, and more importantly the shame?” and jokes about determinism to dodge accountability in “i believe i can never be held morally accountable for any of my actions.”.
- Self-deprecating negativity: Uses humour to undercut herself, describing her looks as a caricature in “some days, when i look in the mirror, it's as if a 19th century anti irish caricature from a punch comic is staring back at me.” and calling life “tyrannical” over basic needs in “having to remember to eat three daily meals along with two snacks feels overly tyrannical.”.
- Online overexposure: Clearly feels worn down by social media yet stays deeply immersed, as in “this app is wearing me down, like a slow degenerative brain disease.” and repeatedly analysing X/Twitter dynamics in posts like “twitter has empowered every mediocre, self proclaimed 'thought leader'…”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user is closest to Lisa Simpson: smart, hyper-verbal, politically aware, and a little too self-aware for her own peace of mind. Like Lisa, she mixes sincere intellect with wry, bookish humour, from joking about contemporary philosophy via pop culture “i derive a lot of my understanding of contemporary philosophy from Simpsons references, much like many esteemed scholars.” to defending libraries as a civilizational last stand “libraries are our last line of defence.”. Her ethical and political takes have that Lisa-ish left-leaning, indignant edge, e.g. critiquing Twitter’s fake thought leaders “twitter has empowered every mediocre, self proclaimed 'thought leader'...” and mocking revanchist justifications for war “the entire interview is basically Putin trying to justify a revanchist land grab...”. There’s also an introspective, slightly melancholic streak—"this app is wearing me down, like a slow degenerative brain disease"—paired with earnest love of art and literature, like rereading Joyce to cry “whenever i need a reason to cry, i reread joyce’s ‘eveline’...”, which fits Lisa’s dramatic intellectual sensitivity. Even her deterministic musing on responsibility “i subscribe to determinism, and, therefore, reject the notion of free will...” feels like Lisa gone extremely online.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
They read as more introverted (I) than extroverted: a lot of their joy is in solitary or small-scale, inward-focused experiences (books, philosophy, niche humour), and they fantasize about retreating from people, like wanting “to have my own little crannóg, where i can live peacefully as a monastic hermit, away from the chaos of the world” “all i wish is to have my own little crannóg, where i can live peacefully as a monastic hermit, away from the chaos of the world.”. They are clearly intuitive (N), constantly abstracting everyday life into big-picture concepts: determinism and free will “i subscribe to determinism, and, therefore, reject the notion of free will…”, philosophy via The Simpsons “i derive a lot of my understanding of contemporary philosophy from Simpsons references…”, and metaphysical riffs on apple juice and zeppelins “something I’ve been pondering at an axiomatic level is the divine truth that apple juice is leaps and bounds more spiritually enriching than any other beverage.”, “what became of rigid airships?… sometimes i wonder if we neared enlightenment, only to stray from the path when we allowed those big beautiful boys to slip through our fingers.”. Their humour and opinions lean thinking (T): they punch through sentiment with analysis and sarcasm, e.g. their critique of Twitter pseudo-intellectuals “twitter has empowered every mediocre, self proclaimed 'thought leader' to think that their superficial opinions… hold the same weight as martin luther nailing the ninety five theses…” and the mock-logical dismantling of moral responsibility via determinism “i subscribe to determinism… i believe i can never be held morally accountable for any of my actions.”. At the same time, they show strong values and empathy (politics, Gaza, Ukraine, veganism, libraries), but these are expressed through argument rather than overt emotional caretaking, which still fits T over F. Finally, they feel more perceiving (P) than judging: their life and thoughts seem exploratory and spontaneous—musing about Ship of Theseus on their own brain “i want to preform a sort of 'ship of theseus' experiment with the various little parts of my brain.” and joking about struggling with basic structure like eating regular meals “having to remember to eat three daily meals along with two snacks feels overly tyrannical.”. The combination of solitary, cerebral humour, abstract philosophising, analytical snark, and laid‑back, slightly chaotic lifestyle cues is most consistent with INTP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You can reject free will all you like, but determinism clearly intended for the world’s biggest Ollie Cromwell hater and a lad who’d happily denounce YouTube video essayists in a headlock to end up on the same side.
- If apple juice is the most spiritually enriching drink, will you share one with me while we Pokémon Go to the polls, celebrate Bloomsday, and you explain Schopenhauer and The Simpsons to me like I’m your slightly confused but eager himbo?
- You wanting your own little crannóg, rereading Joyce’s “Eveline” to cry, and defending libraries as our last line of defence has me thinking you’re dangerously close to my type: cottagecore monastic hermit with a PhD in vibes.
- I know you’re haunted by juggalos and Mark Wahlberg’s Hallow ads, but as someone who firmly believes Steve Irwin is the peak of Australian intellect, I solemnly swear to protect you from all jump-scare men and mediocre thought leaders.
- Take me to Tipp for the churn rolling championships, introduce me to your ogham stone and the farm animals you tried to teach Irish, and if your mammy approves, I promise to be more reliable than the Child of Prague at that Hozier concert.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Tipperary bookworm & philosophy enjoyer. Once lost an ogham stone to cows and a bottle opener to airport security. Tweets on Ireland, jokes & justice.– @kirstenicormaic
Your signature cocktail
The Determinist Fallen Angel
This cocktail starts with Irish gin for the very on-brand Éire core and their love of hurling, saints, and sinners, from “irish irish irish ireland irish irish ireland ireland irish irish ireland irish” to keeping the Child of Prague at a Hozier gig in “I’ve never had my faith shaken quite as strongly…”. Cloudy apple juice is the spiritual base, pulled straight from “the divine truth that apple juice is leaps and bounds more spiritually enriching than any other beverage.” A chamomile-honey syrup nods to the secretly soft, bookish romantic who treasures bookmarks and libraries in “libraries are our last line of defence.” and “amy bought me a bookmark :D”. A dash of sea salt represents the island girl who’s been “much too landlocked” in “i haven’t seen a body of water in far too long.” Finally, a flamed lemon peel captures their sharp, theatrical, slightly unhinged wit, blazing through takes like “you are neither edgy nor transgressive, you’re simply just annoying.” and their faux-absolutist shrug in “i subscribe to determinism, and, therefore, reject the notion of free will… i can never be held morally accountable for any of my actions.” This drink is gently strong, a bit tart, quietly comforting, and just philosophical enough to make you want to party all the time to “eddie murphy's seminal 1985 hit, 'party all the time.’”
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Their tweets show a strong mix of philosophy, self-aware humour, and cultural analysis that screams Ravenclaw. They openly engage with abstract thought and determinism in posts like “i subscribe to determinism, and, therefore, reject the notion of free will…” and joke about foundational questions with lines such as “something I’ve been pondering at an axiomatic level is the divine truth that apple juice is leaps and bounds more spiritually enriching than any other beverage.”. There’s an obvious love of books and learning in “libraries are our last line of defence.” and the way they talk about rereading Joyce and starting books, as in “whenever i need a reason to cry, i reread joyce’s ‘eveline’…” and “started my first book of 2024 🦅💯”. Their humour is highly referential and intellectually playful—drawing on Simpsons, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, and historical references—e.g. “i derive a lot of my understanding of contemporary philosophy from Simpsons references, much like many esteemed scholars.” and “just reread schopenhauer’s essay on women…”. While they do show some Hufflepuff softness in their affection for animals and friends, the dominant through-line is clever, analytical, culturally literate wit, which fits Ravenclaw far better than any other house.
Your movie
Your song
This Charming Man - The Smiths
Their mix of sardonic wit, self-aware melodrama, and oddly romantic fatalism fits This Charming Man almost perfectly. They treat philosophical despair like a bit, as in “this app is wearing me down, like a slow degenerative brain disease.” and “i subscribe to determinism, and, therefore, reject the notion of free will… i believe i can never be held morally accountable for any of my actions.”, which mirrors the song’s elegant, wry angst. There’s the same blend of vanity and self-mockery in “there is no greater pain than being a funny woman. why do i have to suffer this way… i gain nothing from being ridiculously hilarious and charming.” and “feeling devilishly handsome today <3”, echoing the song’s playfully dramatic persona. Their fondness for literary and cultural references—Joyce, Schopenhauer, Simpsons philosophy, libraries as “our last line of defence”—channels the same bookish, slightly dramatic energy that defines The Smiths. Even their fixation on being a slightly cursed Irish girl (“some days, when i look in the mirror, it's as if a 19th century anti irish caricature from a punch comic is staring back at me.”) fits Morrissey’s flair for turning insecurity into stylish gloom.
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