
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This user fits Lisa Simpson best: emotionally intense, hyper‑online about niche interests, and politically/morally opinionated while still loving messy, complicated characters. Like Lisa with her obsessions (jazz, books, causes), they deep‑dive into specific fandoms and media, from Interview With the Vampire to Star Wars and Taylor Swift, saying things like “watching wonderful, critically acclaimed shows that should theoretically bring me joy and feeling next to nothing because gay vampires ate my brain”. They combine critical thinking with affection, e.g. “i bring a ‘i love this character so much but also think they deserve(d) other people’s retribution for their crimes’ kind of energy”, which mirrors Lisa’s tendency to critique what she loves. They’re also outspoken about ethics and media/public figures, like “enough. fictional characters is one thing but princess diana is another like actually dpmo” and dragging D&D for Game of Thrones, very Lisa-coded righteousness. At the same time, their dramatic humor and self-aware angst – e.g. “lowkey feel more hated as an enjoyer of heated rivalry than i do as a swiftie” and “gay vampires ate my brain” – line up with Lisa’s combination of earnestness and over-the-top adolescent melodrama.

Your MBTI personality Type
They seem more introverted (I) than extroverted: most of their joy comes from solitary or small‑scale fandom activities (rewatches, edits, reading) rather than parties, and they joke about being very online and bedridden sick while watching IWTV (“gonna continue my rewatch of iwtv today since i am still v sick and stuck in bed”), plus celebrating their husband’s low‑key birthday gaming night instead of clubbing (“ofc he invites his friends to play kirby air ride for his birthday instead of going to the club”). Their fixation on symbolism, meta, and alternate universes points strongly to intuition (N), like imagining AUs (“AU: louis really was schizophrenic #iwtv”) and abstractly mapping Real Housewives scenes onto vampire dynamics (“im thinking abt all the real housewives scenes that are iwtv coded now”). They consistently prioritize emotional nuance and moral greyness over cold logic, indicating feeling (F): they describe their enjoyment as loving characters but still wanting them to face consequences (“i bring a ‘i love this character so much but also think they deserve(d) other people’s retribution for their crimes’ kind of energy”) and get genuinely upset at disrespectful comparisons to Princess Diana (“one of the most beloved WOMEN in modern history”). Their timeline feels spontaneous and passion‑driven, not structured, suggesting perceiving (P): they frequently act on sudden hyperfixations (“watching wonderful, critically acclaimed shows … and feeling next to nothing because gay vampires ate my brain”), start creative projects on a whim like their first tablet art header (“im having delusions of grandeur abt being the next louis wain. i love cats”), and joke about impulsively deleting tweets like evidence (“deleting all my tweets like im hiding evidence from the police”). Taken together—the romantic fixation on dark, morally complex characters, emotional intensity, whimsical creativity, and unstructured, hyperfixation‑driven lifestyle—aligns best with INFP.

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Your new Twitter bio
Pop‑culture goblin with a vampire problem. Once said Anakin fathered my cats and never recovered. Dark romance, gothic lit, and #iwtv analysis on tap.– @knivesnhoney

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is named after their feral poetry moment, when they wrote “he tasted like vermeowth and annihilation”, because nothing says gothic dark romance like liquor that sounds like it could kill you and then kiss you on the mouth. Black vodka with charcoal mirrors their goth, villain-apologist vibe and their devotion to problematic faves like Lestat and Armand, as seen in “i bring a ‘i love this character so much but also think they deserve(d) other people’s retribution for their crimes’ kind of energy…”. Blood orange liqueur brings a bittersweet, dramatic edge, fitting their iwtv hyperfixation in “watching wonderful, critically acclaimed shows… and feeling next to nothing because gay vampires ate my brain”. Ruby port is rich and lingering, like rereading The Vampire Chronicles and sobbing over Armand in “im reading the story of armand in tvl finally… i want m*rius flayed alive”. Cold brew coffee captures their wired, meme-making insomnia energy from posts like “iwtv twt actually enjoying my stupid jokes/memes… rlly got me feeling like this”. Finally, a black cherry cola reduction foam adds playful sweetness and fandom silliness, echoing their cat-obsessed, whimsical side in “guys go look at my header it’s my first piece of digital art… i love cats” and their self-described status as a pop culture goblin.

Your Hogwarts House
They repeatedly show a gleeful alignment with morally dubious and villainous characters, which is classic Slytherin energy: they describe themselves as a “villain apologist” in their bio and say “i bring a ‘i love this character so much but also think they deserve(d) other people’s retribution for their crimes’ kind of energy to enjoying lestat and armand”. There’s also a streak of playful ruthlessness and love of dark romance, like when they joke about starting “rpf shipping iwtvtwt accounts in a mutual block that continuously stalk each other to take screenshots and talk shit… my real life enemies to lovers dark romance.”. Their self‑preserving contrarianism is very Slytherin-coded: they admit that “every time people tell me how much loumand sucks the more i become loumandpilled… i just don’t like to be told what to do.”. At the same time, they’re calculatingly funny and socially savvy, reveling in fandom drama from a slightly removed, knowing position, as in “your oomf is out there sending anon hate… and my oomf is at the barricades politely asking people to talk about antoinette more often… we are not the same”. Taken together—their attraction to morally gray figures, enjoyment of conflict as narrative spice, contrarian independence, and sharp social awareness—fit Slytherin’s ambition, cunning, and self-directedness more than any other house.

Your movie

Your song
The push‑and‑pull, tragic romance energy of exile matches how they talk about Loustat and other doomed dynamics, like when they say “what’s a little (temporary) spousal murder between vampires with eternity together?”. The song’s perspective of two lovers replaying their breakup in their heads mirrors their obsession with characters who hurt each other but remain bound, reflected in “i love this character so much but also think they deserve(d) other people’s retribution for their crimes”. The melancholy, cinematic tone fits their gothic, dark‑romance tastes and constant yearning over complicated men, like “wow i love lestat de lioncourt more than i have ever loved any character in my life…”. And since they’re a Swiftie who loses it over Taylor/IWTV edits (“lesdaughter edit to ts im gonna kms”), a dramatic, heartbreak‑heavy Taylor Swift track is especially fitting.

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