Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate fan: Shows deep enthusiasm for Marvel, DC, and baseball, like celebrating multiple Flash issues and Daredevil teaser in “DDBA TEASER TODAY AND 3 (YES THREE!) FLASH COMICS COME OUT TOMORROW THIS WEEK IS BEAUTIFUL”.
- Emotionally aware: Openly discusses feelings about being trans and doubts around it in “sometimes i think i’m faking being trans and that this isn’t worth it but then i realize going by my deadname and she/her again sounds like hell”.
- Humorous commentary: Uses funny, self-aware jokes like comparing themselves to Bucky’s awkwardness in “the scene of bucky saying he’s 106 and then nervously laughing is me so often”.
- Analytical thinker: Breaks down character/physical details, like Bucky’s likely chronic pain pattern in “i think he would have worse damage throughout his body with more in his joints and a SIGNIFICANT amount in his left shoulder”.
- Loyal friend: Values close connections, as shown in “why do you only talk to one person” because i don’t like the rest of you, prioritizing a best friend over broader social approval.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh language: Frequently uses insults or swearing, e.g. “hate this fuckass team” and “what are these fuckass ratings jesus christ”.
- Conflict reactive: Responds strongly to fandom disagreements, like “FUCK ALL OF YOU” and calling out ragebait in “ragebait used to be believeable”.
- Self-critical: Talks down about themselves, e.g. “i’m so stupid when it comes to recognizing sebastian stan” and worrying about “faking being trans” in this tweet.
- Overwhelmed fan: Feels mentally crowded by interests, as shown in “i truly love flash the most but i can’t get my brain to enjoy it as much because i constantly have marvel floating around my brain”.
- Dramatic reactions: Uses extreme phrasing for frustration, e.g. “i will kms” and intense despair over trades and off-season moves in multiple Brewers tweets like “guys this is no longer funny. GUYS”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
They read as a chaotic, mischievous teen with a big heart, which fits Bart Simpson best. Their sense of humor is loud and dramatic, like saying “FUCK ALL OF YOU” or jokingly threatening “i will kms” over sports and media drama, very Bart-coded overreactions. They’re obsessed with niche interests (Brewers baseball, coasters, specific ships) and wear their special interests on their sleeve, as in “you’re autistic i have a mini model of my favorite roller coaster i think this has been known”, which feels like Bart’s hyperfixations filtered through modern fandom. At the same time, they show a softer, loyal side, like “this is so special to me” and caring a lot about characters’ trauma in “i am reading about my favorite character reliving and getting comforted for his 70 years of trauma”, mirroring Bart’s hidden emotional depth. Their rebellious, shitposty tone mixed with genuine affection for their friends and faves is far closer to Bart than to the more earnest Lisa or responsible Marge.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They read as an introvert (I): they joke about only liking to talk to one person (“why do you only talk to one person” because i don’t like the rest of you) and describe feeling judged when talking to people who aren’t their best friend (“i’ll say something to somebody who isn’t my best friend and get judged for it”), which suggests a small, close circle over broad socializing. Their interests are heavy on fandom, interpretation, and patterns rather than purely concrete facts, pointing to intuition (N): they spin scenarios like “matt convincing foggy it’s not gay to cuddle in bed” and imagine character dynamics (e.g., “the image of joaquín perched on sam’s shoulder just came to my mind”), showing a tendency toward imaginative, speculative thinking. They strongly emphasize feelings, identity, and empathy, which aligns with feeling (F): they talk vulnerably about being trans (“sometimes i think i’m faking being trans… but then i realize going by my deadname and she/her again sounds like hell”) and care deeply about how characters are treated emotionally (“i am reading about my favorite character reliving and getting comforted for his 70 years of trauma”). Their timeline feels spontaneous and reactive rather than planned, and they lean into in-the-moment hyperfixations (“my favorite character changes so much and it depends on what i’m reading at the moment”), suggesting perceiving (P). They also show classic INFP-style fandom intensity and idealism, like wishing they could control ships to protect a favored character (“sometimes i wish i could get rid of people’s abilities to ship anybody. GET BART TF AWAY FROM FRAUD TODD”) and fiercely defending underappreciated characters such as Foggy (“none of the above i want FOGGY”).
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’re a DC fan forced into liking Marvel, so uh… if I promise you regular doses of Absolute Flash and HalBarry, will you let me be the one who forces you into liking *me* too?
- You wondering if Sam would like flying coasters is cute, but plot twist: the real question is whether you’d sit next to me in the front row while I scream louder than Joaquín dealing with Sam and Bucky.
- You’re crashing out over baseball, mourning Devin Williams and Peralta, and raging about shortstops—if you ever need a new favorite Brewer, I can absolutely be the guy you trade up for.
- You said you’re only seen as a twink because you’re trans and that it’s one of the most offensive things anyone could call you—so let me correct the record: you read Flash, love Sambucky and Foggy, and survive Brewers offseason chaos. That’s not twink energy, that’s main-character energy.
- You’ve got a mini model of your favorite roller coaster, three Flash comics on pull, and a brain permanently occupied by Sambucky—statistically speaking, the next logical special interest is me. I don’t make the rules, Absolute Finn does.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
16 | trans | DC lifer accidentally majoring in Marvel. Sambucky analyst, Foggy Nelson defense attorney, Brewers sufferer. Once ID’d Seb as Charlie Cox.– @lanternflashes
Your signature cocktail
The Foggy Flashback Fizz
Bourbon is the sturdy base here, like their long-suffering loyalty to traumatized guys such as Bucky and Matt, especially when they say things like they’re reading about their fave “reliving and getting comforted for his 70 years of trauma” “i am reading about my favorite character reliving and getting comforted for his 70 years of trauma”. The cherry cola reduction adds a fun, youthful sugar rush that matches tweeting about playing wingman for Sam and Bucky “i’m playing wingman for bucky and sam” and crying over how adorable characters are “baby joaquín is so adorable i’m sobbing”. Lime juice cuts through the sweetness with a sharp, slightly petty tang that fits lines like “why do you only talk to one person” because i don’t like the rest of you and “sometimes i wish i could get rid of people’s abilities to ship anybody” “sometimes i wish i could get rid of people’s abilities to ship anybody. GET BART TF AWAY FROM FRAUD TODD 🤮”. A light coffee liqueur mist floats over the top for all the late-night brainrot and emotional overthinking, like wondering if they’re faking being trans but knowing going back would be hell “sometimes i think i’m faking being trans and that this isn’t worth it but then i realize going by my deadname and she/her again sounds like hell”. Finally, the smoked salt rim is for the constant mix of rage and ride-or-die loyalty—whether it’s baseball misery “hate this fuckass team” or begging Marvel to just give them Foggy already “none of the above i want FOGGY 😡”.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
They show a strong analytical, research-oriented side and love digging into canon details across multiple fandoms. For example, they’re literally investigating publication metadata and availability for old runs like Cap 2005: “for some reason cap 2005 isn’t even in full on pirate sites” and “okay so it does but for some reason it’s under the 1968 run???”, which is very Ravenclaw "must understand how this works" energy. They also get excited about release schedules and relative sales performance, treating them almost like data points: “i’m genuinely so excited that 3 flash comics are coming out tomorrow. like holy shit is this why people read batfam because it constantly has comics coming out” and ““absolute flash is so bad” yet it’s the best selling after batman 🤔”. Their interest in physical details and medical realism, like analyzing Bucky’s likely nerve damage and chronic pain, is very methodical and knowledge-driven: “i think he would have worse damage throughout his body with more in his joints and a SIGNIFICANT amount in his left shoulder” and “i’m so shocked i haven’t seen more fics of bucky with chronic pain/nerve damage basically all the causes have happened to him 😭”. Even in casual posts they’re constantly comparing, categorizing, and self-analyzing their tastes, like “my favorite character changes so much and it depends on what i’m reading at the moment” and their breakdown of how often they read certain teams or characters, which fits Ravenclaw’s reflective, pattern-seeking mindset more than the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
Their timeline is full of high-energy fixation, spiraling emotions, and overthinking, which fits the frantic, obsessive vibe of Mr. Brightside. They bounce between intense fandom hyperfixations and frustration, like being a "dc fan forced into liking marvel" while tweeting “sometimes i get sad that i became obsessed with marvel. because i truly love flash the most but i can’t get my brain to enjoy it as much because i constantly have marvel floating around my brain”. There’s a constant mix of joy and pain—gushing about ships like “i’m playing wingman for bucky and sam” and “none of the above i want FOGGY 😡”, but also screaming over baseball misery like “traded our ace and is on arbitration for one of our best players 💔 hate this fuckass team”. The song’s frantic, shout-along energy mirrors their dramatic, all-caps reactions such as “FUCK ALL OF YOU” and “DDBA TEASER TODAY AND 3 (YES THREE!) FLASH COMICS COME OUT TOMORROW THIS WEEK IS BEAUTIFUL”. Like the song’s narrator, they live in a constant loop of emotional highs and lows, always ‘coming out of their cage’ to yell about ships, comics, and their cursed baseball team.
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