last_futurist
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Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Intellectual Curiosity: His deep dives into philosophy and history, such as his interest in Blanqui and Byung-Chul Han, show his relentless pursuit of knowledge.
- Witty Humor: His tweet, 'Only accurate far right depiction of the freikorps, people forget that they where gay af,' shows his ability to mix humor with historical commentary.
- Self-Awareness: His admission, 'I need a proofreader, I get halfway into an article/essay and I just feel as if I'm ranting,' shows his ability to self-reflect and acknowledge his own flaws.
- Passionate: His tweet, 'Been stewing on how the Italian Social Republic was more radical than the Paris commune,' demonstrates his deep engagement with his interests.
- Open-Minded: His tweet, 'Kind of? I’m practically an Atheist but I also believe in Transubstantiation, but I’m also fond of Heliolatry,' shows his willingness to explore diverse beliefs and ideas.
Weaknesses:
- Overthinking: His tweet, 'I need a proofreader, I get halfway into an article/essay and I just feel as if I'm ranting,' reveals a tendency to overanalyze and lose focus.
- Pessimism: Tweets like 'I think Humanity has had a good run. We can call it quits now,' reflect a tendency towards negative thinking.
- Procrastination: His tweet, 'Almost 4 AM, time to debate getting one of these again and talk myself out of it,' shows a habit of delaying decisions.
- Self-Criticism: His tweet, 'I need a proofreader...I never can figure out how to circle back to my main point,' shows he can be overly critical of his own work.
- Impulsiveness: Losing his Blanqui book on campus and tweeting, 'Like a dumbass I lost my Blanqui book on campus,' shows a tendency to act without thinking things through.
Your Simpsons character
Comic Book Guy
Altschmerz's deep dives into niche topics and his sharp, sometimes sarcastic commentary make him a good match for Comic Book Guy. Like the character, he has a vast reservoir of obscure knowledge, as seen in his tweets about Blanqui, Serial Experiments Lain, and the Paris Commune. His tweet, 'Whenever I see contemporary “futurists” I honestly think they just like the word future,' mirrors Comic Book Guy's critical attitude. Both are passionate about their interests and unafraid to voice their strong opinions.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
Altschmerz exhibits traits of an INTP: introverted, intuitive, thinking, and perceiving. His introspection and love for philosophy, as seen in 'I started my philosophical journey by thinking I needed to become a priest,' highlight his introverted and intuitive nature. His analytical critiques, like 'Marx was wrong about the Paris Commune,' showcase his thinking preference. His tweet, 'I need a proofreader, I get halfway into an article/essay and I just feel as if I'm ranting,' reflects his perceiving nature, as he struggles with structure but thrives on exploration and ideas.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Blanqui book? Because losing you would leave me devastated.
- Are you Serial Experiments Lain? Because you're making me question my entire reality.
- I must be a VLC playlist because I can't stop shuffling through thoughts of you.
- If I were to write a Substack post, it would be about how you're the hero of my story.
- Are you the Book of Job? Because I could read you over and over and still not get enough.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Philosopher-in-the-making, history buff, and self-proclaimed 'Unyielding Hierophant.' Obsessed with Blanqui, Lain, and obscure philosophies. Will rant about futurism, depression, and cottage cheese.– @last_futurist
Your signature cocktail
Blanqui's Revolution
The 'Blanqui's Revolution' cocktail captures Altschmerz's intellectual and revolutionary spirit. Absinthe represents his deep philosophical musings, while red wine symbolizes his passion for history and revolution, as seen in his tweets about the Paris Commune. A dash of bitters adds a touch of his dark humor, like in 'I think Humanity has had a good run. We can call it quits now.' The orange peel adds a hint of brightness, reflecting his occasional quirky humor, such as 'Richard Nixon maxxing (having cottage cheese for breakfast).' It's a drink as complex and layered as he is.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Altschmerz belongs in Ravenclaw, the house of wit, wisdom, and intellectual curiosity. His deep dives into historical and philosophical topics, like his fascination with Blanqui and the Paris Commune, are hallmarks of a Ravenclaw's inquisitive nature. Tweets like 'I started my philosophical journey by thinking I needed to become a priest and neurotically reading the book of Job' show his early intellectual pursuits. His ability to critique and analyze, as seen in 'Marx was wrong about the Paris Commune,' further cements his place in this house. Ravenclaws value knowledge and unique perspectives, and Altschmerz embodies these traits.
Your movie
Your song
Mad World - Tears for Fears
The melancholic and reflective tone of 'Mad World' by Tears for Fears suits Altschmerz's personality. His tweet, 'I think Humanity has had a good run. We can call it quits now,' mirrors the song's existential themes. His philosophical musings, such as 'I started my philosophical journey by thinking I needed to become a priest,' align with the song's introspective lyrics. The song's haunting melody and reflective nature capture his blend of humor, intellect, and vulnerability.
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