Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Political Commitment: He is an active “Militante del @soyconservador” and expresses unconditional loyalty to specific party leaders.
- Geopolitical Awareness: He monitors regional stability, noting it is “important for Colombia” that transitions in Venezuela occur without war.
- Clear Identity: His bio explicitly defines his ideological framework as a “Soberanista” and “Conservador a lo Bismarck.”
- Professional Ambition: As a “Estudiante Universitario” and “Futuro Docente,” he shows a dedication to academic and professional growth.
- Realist Perspective: He demonstrates pragmatism regarding global power, acknowledging the “Anglo Sionista” empire will likely remain the dominant hegemon.
Weaknesses:
- Aggressive Language: He frequently uses profanity and insults, calling others “hijueputa” or “pendejos” when expressing disagreement.
- Vulgar Rhetoric: His critiques of public figures like Vicky Dávila are crudely phrased, stating she turns “todo lo que toca lo vuelve mierda.”
- Hostile Mockery: He resorts to ad hominem attacks, mocking people's mental state or appearance, such as comparing someone to “Lalis después del Ozempic.”
- Political Cynicism: He expresses deep frustration with democratic processes, labeling ballot designs as “mierda” and dismissing coalitions.
- Extreme Polarization: He uses highly inflammatory labels for opponents, equating individuals to “Judas” or suggesting accelerationist votes for enemies.
Your Simpsons character
Sideshow Bob
David exhibits the same sophisticated yet vitriolic brand of traditionalism as The Simpsons’ resident conservative intellectual, Sideshow Bob. Much like Bob's disdain for low-brow culture, David uses aggressive, high-stakes rhetoric to criticize political figures, referring to one as “traidor, traicionero, hijueputa” while maintaining a self-defined identity as a “Conservador a lo Bismarck.” His cynical view of the democratic process, complaining that “Pocos tarjetones más de mierda se habían visto en la historia de la democracia,” mirrors Bob’s belief that the masses are incapable of governing themselves properly. Finally, his intense, almost performative loyalty to specific figures—promising his “voto de forma incondicional” to a 'commander'—aligns with Bob’s unwavering dedication to his own rigid ideological crusades.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTJ
David exhibits a clear Thinking (T) preference through his blunt, cynical, and often caustic analysis of politics, such as describing Vicky Dávila as having “the Midas touch in reverse, everything she touches turns to shit”. His Intuition (N) is evident in his focus on long-term geopolitical structures and power dynamics, asserting that the “Anglo-Zionist empire... will continue to be the hegemonic power” through the end of the century. As a self-described “Bismarckian Conservative” and university student, he leans towards Introversion (I), prioritizing theoretical sovereignty and personal opinion over social interaction. Finally, his Judging (J) trait is shown through his rigid loyalty to specific political standards and his frustration with systemic inefficiency, lamenting that “badly designed ballots” will break records for annulment due to poor structural planning.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you the Colombian ballot designer? Because you’ve got me so confused I might just accidentally commit my vote entirely to you.
- Forget the Anglo-Zionist empire—you’re the only global hegemony I see lasting until the end of the century.
- Call me Luis Miguel, because I want to be the only thing in the Conservative Party that gets your unconditional support.
- I promise I’m more reliable than a Vicky Dávila endorsement; I won't turn everything I touch into 'mierda,' especially not us.
- You’re a 'Conservador a lo Bismarck,' but I’m ready to drop the 'Blood and Iron' if you’ll just give me a little bit of your sovereignty.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Future educator and Bismarckian conservative student. When I'm not critiquing ballot designs or 'Anglo-Zionist' hegemony, I’m voting Blue and hoping for a better Colombia.– @LauBolRa
Your signature cocktail
The Bismarckian Accelerant
This drink captures the 'Bismarckian' soul of a university student who has no filter and even less patience for political incompetence. It features a heavy dose of bitterness inspired by his view that Vicky Dávila has “el toque de Midas al revés todo lo que toca lo vuelve mierda”. The high proof reflects his “inconditional” loyalty to the Conservative Party, while the spicy garnish honors his tendency to call people “traidor, traicionero, hijueputa”. It’s a cynical yet sovereign concoction meant for someone who would rather “aplicar la estrategia aceleracionista” than vote for a 'lukewarm' candidate.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
David exhibits a clear Slytherin affinity for power dynamics and ideological purity, combined with a 'Bismarckian' pragmatism that values strategic outcomes over moral sentiment. His loyalty is conditional and political, as seen when he pledges his “voto de forma incondicional” to a 'commander' within his party, yet he is willing to embrace “la estrategia aceleracionista” and vote for an opponent just to spite a weak establishment. He displays the house's characteristic disdain for perceived weakness or 'lukewarm' behavior, harshly attacking those he considers “traidor, traicionero” or 'tibios'. Ultimately, his analytical focus on the “imperio Anglo Sionista” as a permanent hegemon reflects a Slytherin’s respect for raw, enduring strength and political realism.
Your movie
Your song
Iron Fist - Motörhead
David’s profile is defined by an aggressive, unapologetic adherence to right-wing power dynamics and a 'Bismarckian' conservative philosophy that values strength over sentimentality. He expresses total loyalty to his political leaders, stating his vote is “incondicional” while simultaneously showing a cynical, 'accelerationist' contempt for modern democratic processes he deems a “mierda”. The song's intensity matches his rhetorical style, where he frequently uses profanity to attack political figures like José Obdulio Gaviria or Roy Barreras, whom he labels a “traidor, traicionero, hijueputa”. Ultimately, his worldview centers on raw power and realism, acknowledging the permanence of the “imperio Anglo Sionista” as a geopolitical fact. This 'Iron Fist' approach to politics reflects a desire for a traditional, unyielding order in a world he views as increasingly chaotic.
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