LieutenantRusty
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In a relationship:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Handy/Technical: His fascination with concrete machining numbers ('400,000 rpm, 24 ipm, 1” depth of cut, .3125 stepover') and 'Mech Engineer' in the bio shows real technical competence and comfort with tools.
- Loyal: Putting 'my son’s birth' and the '’04 ALCS' as top memories ('My son’s birth is #3') suggests strong loyalty to family and long‑standing passions.
- Culturally literate: Regular references to films, restorations and fandom ('Star Wars, the 4K77 version', 'Showing a work buddy Alien and Aliens') show a well‑informed pop‑culture palate.
- Witty/Sardonic: He consistently uses sharp, punchy one-liners—'This is the ultimate in generic no brand products. The Platonic ideal, even.'—demonstrating quick, sardonic wit.
- Decisive: A military background plus direct commands and positions ('Make the Logan Act great again') indicates a take‑charge, decisive temperament.
Weaknesses:
- Abrupt: Self-identifying as an 'Irritable Jerk' and frequent blunt lines like 'What an absolute shit take.' suggest brusqueness that can alienate others.
- Combative: Frequent political taunting ('Tankies remain coping and seething') shows a tendency to pick public fights instead of dispassionate discussion.
- Impulsive snark: Quick-fire insults ('This guy sounds unemployed.') and piling on can look impulsive and petty at times.
- Nostalgia‑biased: Elevating past cultural moments ('the ‘04 World Series win') sometimes colors his judgment about modern culture and makes him dismissive of newer perspectives.
- Grudgingly sentimental: He holds sentimental values but buries them under sarcasm ('My son’s birth is #3. And he knows it.'), which can make emotional access awkward for others.
Your Simpsons character
Captain Horatio McCallister (The Sea Captain)
The Sea Captain is the best Simpsons parallel: salty, nautical, loud, full of sea stories and salty aphorisms—just like Rusty’s stream of naval references ('Former USN Surface Warfare Officer', 'Tomcat Tuesday') and his love of whole‑hearted, seafaring imagery. Both are gruff, prone to bluster, and quick with a nautical quip; both also have a nostalgic, old‑school view of the world and delight in telling ridiculous, over‑the‑top seafaring tales. If you cross a machinist, a veteran and a movie buff, you get a modern Captain McCallister.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTJ
ESTJ fits Rusty: extraverted in public engagement and social leadership (frequent replies, group showings: 'Showing a work buddy Alien and Aliens for the first time tonight'), sensing and detail‑oriented (machine parameters: '400,000 rpm, 24 ipm...'), thinking and blunt in decision‑making ('I don’t give a fuck if you think cows are holy. I think cows are tasty.'), and judging with a preference for order, tradition and decisive stances (military background: 'Former USN Surface Warfare Officer', nostalgic anchors like the '’04 ALCS' memory). Together, these tweets show someone pragmatic, organized, and comfortable enforcing rules or conventions rather than exploring endless hypotheticals.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a CNC mill? Because I'd program my heart to run at '400,000 rpm' just to keep your smile in perfect tolerance.
- I might be an irritable jerk, but I'll be gentle when I feed you a giraffe—'I fed a giraffe yesterday,' so I come with animal‑feeding experience.
- Call me TSA, because I'd happily give you the full freedom grope if it meant holding your hand through security—'Got the full freedom grope... Had a 2lb bag of coffee...'.
- They say 'Certified Professional Irritable Jerk' is in my bio, but for you I'll temporarily downgrade to 'Certified Professional Charming Dude.'
- If you like long memories and louder celebrations, you'll like me — my '’04 ALCS' comeback story comes with permanent confetti and a box seat for two.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Mech Engineer • Former USN Surface Warfare Officer • Maker, machinist & gamer • Proudly blunt (self-described 'Certified Professional Irritable Jerk') • Wood‑chipper fan • Red Sox lifer • #fuckcancer — I fix things, tell it like it is, and bring the coffee.– @LieutenantRusty
Your signature cocktail
The Irritable Machinist
This drink pairs Rusty’s coffee and machinist leanings with a blunt, slightly smoky personality: coffee liqueur nods to his TSA coffee rant ('Had a 2lb bag of coffee... they ripped the bag'), bourbon supplies the gruff backbone of a 'Certified Professional Irritable Jerk', smoked salt evokes workshop grit and wood‑chipper enthusiasm, and a Captain’s Wafer garnish winks at the pricey snack gripe ('$2.16 / each for the Captain’s Wafers'). Precise ratios mirror his love of specific machining numbers ('400,000 rpm...'), so the cocktail is equal parts exacting and unapologetic.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Gryffindor fits Rusty because his tweets show a take‑charge, blunt bravery more than secretive cunning or detached intellectualism: he’s a 'Former USN Surface Warfare Officer' who loudly defends opinions and traditions and celebrates direct victories like the '’04 ALCS' memory. He routinely mocks opponents and is unafraid of confrontation ('Tankies remain coping and seething'), which reads as Gryffindor boldness. His DIY, get‑it‑done attitude (machining posts like '400,000 rpm...') is the practical courage of someone who’d rather act than theorize. He prizes honor and visible loyalty—hallmarks of Gryffindor—over subtle scheming.
Your movie
Your song
Bad Reputation - Joan Jett
Joan Jett’s 'Bad Reputation' matches Rusty’s unapologetic, brash persona: he proudly calls himself an 'Irritable Jerk' and relishes being blunt ('I don’t give a fuck if you think cows are holy. I think cows are tasty.'), much like the song’s defiant refusal to follow social rules. The high‑energy, no‑care attitude pairs with his salty one‑liners and love of standing his ground in public discourse.
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