Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Uses vivid, self-aware jokes like reacting to Spotify ads with “When the ad blocker skips the ads on Spotify” and the Thanksgiving bit in “Hell o!🤗This is message📲brought to you by the hoes🕹🕹🕹 of hoesgiving!”.
- EmotionallyExpressive: Open about stress, grades, and feelings in tweets like “Yall I'm actually kinda having my worst academic semester so far 😭” and heartbreak over an ex in “Just discovered ex crush took me off of her spam”.
- PopCultureSavvy: Engages deeply with music, games, and celebrities, referencing Ethel Cain, Taylor Swift, Gaga, DMC’s Vergil, and Genshin in posts like “Three years between Preacher's Daughter and Willoughby.” and “Gonna have to 100% some regions to get Ineffabinarka funds on genshin 😅🤞”.
- AcademicallyCapable: Despite complaining about the workload, demonstrates strong performance, e.g. “Highest grade in the chem final and didn't even study for it” and worrying about keeping physics and calc at B’s in “I'm trying to get my physics grade to a B and keep my calc grade at a B”.
- SelfAware: Recognizes their own patterns and flaws, like admitting procrastination in “College applications due this Monday and I have 2/4 essays done for it 😊😊” and joking about forgetting fitness goals in “The way I forgot I was supposed to start working out this month 😹😹”.
Weaknesses:
- AcademicBurnout: Frequently mentions fatigue and struggling with coursework, as in “I'm literally so fatigued all the time it's so hard to do anything” and “4 finals to go omfggg”.
- Procrastination: Leaves tasks late, such as having essays unfinished close to the deadline in “College applications due this Monday and I have 2/4 essays done for it” and neglecting workout plans in “The way I forgot I was supposed to start working out this month”.
- NegativeSelfTalk: Frames academic and personal struggles harshly, like “Alright I kinda tanked this semester” and comparing a bad physics score to a low point in “80/185 on physics midterm.... feels like I'm back in junior year”.
- Impulsiveness: Makes decisions against long-term interest, e.g. “Skipping my 6 PM class I literally dgaf it attendance is graded” and late-night choices like “Eating chow mein and a piece of cake at 9 PM after my 6 PM class idgafff about having nightmares”.
- OnlineFixation: Invests a lot of emotional energy into online culture and parasocial interests, such as obsessing over Vergil in “Thinking about old man yaoi of Vergil and 35 yo me” and intense celebrity reactions like “When I'm in theater watching it and then they cut to Robert's bare bootycheeks on the screen TRUST IM GONNA POUNCE”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user is best matched with Lisa Simpson: smart, artsy, anxious about grades, but also deeply online and opinionated. Like Lisa, they care about academics yet feel overwhelmed, as shown when they say they’re having their worst academic semester and are scared of failing classes while feeling fatigued: “Yall I'm actually kinda having my worst academic semester so far 😭 I'm genuinely scared of failing my classes…”, and when they stress about pulling their physics and calc grades up: “I'm trying to get my physics grade to a B and keep my calc grade at a B even though it is hanging by a thread😂”. They’re high-achieving but still complain about classes and finals, like when they celebrate surviving a brutal semester: “THIS SEMESTER OF HELL IS JOEVERRRR” and flex having the highest grade on a chem final without studying: “Highest grade in the chem final and didn't even study for it”. The artistic, niche-pop-culture side of Lisa shows up in their obsession with music, niche artists, and fandom (Björk, Ethel Cain, Taylor discourse, Vergil thirst), for example: “The albums are so gay>%<#>@#'” and “My beautiful Vergil 💙”. Their dramatic, self-aware humor and queer-coded, emo tone — like “I GET SO GAY OFF THAT EGGNOG” and “Just discovered ex crush took me off of her spam” — also fit Lisa’s combination of sensitivity, intensity, and theatrical inner life more than the pure chaos of Bart or the obliviousness of Homer.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert: there are no mentions of big social circles or parties, and much of their posting centers on inner feelings, obsessions, and online fandom rather than real‑life socializing, e.g. “2 years ago it was all I could think about now it was the last thing on my mind this whole semester <÷÷,÷÷>×÷>×” and “Thinking about old man yaoi of Vergil and 35 yo me”, which shows a rich internal fantasy life. Their humor and interests are highly conceptual and fandom‑coded, pointing to Intuition over Sensing: they play with symbolism and fictional worlds rather than concrete day‑to‑day details, such as “SEINE ANGST IST MEINE ANGST SEINE WUT IST MEINE WUT SEINE LIEBE IST MEINE LIEBE SEIN BLUT IST MEIN BLUT” and elaborate scenarios like “Your job is to worship Vergil's body that has been marinated for 23 years because he likely didn't shower at all when he was in h311' Me:”. They clearly favor Feeling: their posts are driven by mood, desire, and emotional reactions rather than impersonal logic, as seen in “I need a man”, “Three years between Preacher's Daughter and Willoughby. We're not getting Preacher's Wife until 2028 bruh💔💔😹”, and their very emotional academic posts like “Yall I'm actually kinda having my worst academic semester so far 😭 I'm genuinely scared of failing my classes…”. Finally, they read as Perceiving rather than Judging: they procrastinate and wing things (“College applications due this Monday and I have 2/4 essays done for it 😊😊”, “The way I forgot I was supposed to start working out this month 😹😹”), and complain about structure rather than embracing it (“Dude the way that class actually pisses me off😭😭😭 we just sit around and watch videos all class.”). Altogether, a creative, emotionally expressive, fandom‑oriented introvert with procrastinatory, go‑with‑the‑flow habits fits INFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said real emos listen to Britney, but I’m trying to be the reason you pause Spotify even when the ad blocker’s on.
- You’re out here worrying about physics and calc grades, but the only thing I see dropping is my jaw every time you mention Vergil like he’s not competing with me for your attention.
- You got the highest grade on your chem final without studying; if we ever go out, I promise to be the only thing in your life that breaks the laws of chemistry and still makes perfect sense.
- You’re stressing over Preacher’s Wife not coming till 2028 while eating chow mein at 9 PM after your 6 PM class—let me be the chaotic comfort between your Ethel Cain tears and your engineering deadlines.
- You said turning 19 came with a random white hair in your mustache—don’t worry, I’m just here to be the plot twist in your Letterboxd wrapped, the mysterious stranger you *do* remember next year.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Engineering student, chem overachiever, physics survivor. Once smelled Hawaiian pizza out of nowhere and still trusts the tarot more than Ticketmaster.– @lNTHEZ0NE
Your signature cocktail
The Ineffabinarka Eggnog Emo Fizz
This drink is wired but exhausted: a hit of spiced dark rum with cold brew for the overworked engineering student barely surviving physics and finals, like when they said they're having their “worst academic semester so far” yet still grinding through exams and applications “Yall I'm actually kinda having my worst academic semester so far 😭 I'm genuinely scared of failing my classes...”. The condensed-milk eggnog foam is a direct nod to getting “SO GAY OFF THAT EGGNOG” “I GET SO GAY OFF THAT EGGNOG” and their chaotic food brainwave of “a Hawaiian pizza with condensed milk as dressing🤤” “Just got the sudden smell and taste of a Hawaiian pizza with condensed milk as dressing🤤”. Pineapple-lime syrup brings in the messy-sweet tropical side and their Colombian roots quietly slipping away “Just talked with someone from my family and they told me my colombian accent is basically gone by now😭😭😭😭😭”, while the sparkling yuzu soda makes it experimental and a little weeb/gamer-coded, fitting their Genshin and anime thirsting “Gonna have to 100% some regions to get Ineffabinarka funds on genshin 😅🤞”. The black lava salt & glitter sugar rim embodies "Real emos listen to Britney" energy—dark but camp, tragic yet serving, like when they mournfully stan Vergil and hot men in general “THIS PIC OF GLADIO 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤” and scream over pop girls and visuals “The director said 'cut!' But she heard 'SERVE THOSE VISUALS'”. Overall, it's strong, sweet, a little cursed, and definitely the drink of someone who would tweet about being number #1 employee at Tokyo Toni Trucking Inc. while skipping their 6 PM class “Skipping my 6 PM class I literally dgaf it attendance is graded”.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Their tweets show a strong academic and analytical streak that fits Ravenclaw. They obsess over grades and classes with a reflective tone, like worrying about physics and chemistry performance in detail: “Physics grade dropped to a C but at least I won't have to retake the fuckass class. Now i'm more worried about my grade in chem not going up to an A”, and analyzing a rough semester in a very self-aware way: “Yall I'm actually kinda having my worst academic semester so far… I'm literally so fatigued all the time it's so hard to do anything”. They also show sharp critical thinking and attention to structure and style when dragging someone’s writing: “Damn, no proper use of commas or periods, no Oxford comma, typos, poor sentence and paragraph structure, and the dialect is like 9th grade level, but at least the tone embodies her indifferent verbal tone she always has. Let's take an English class mama”. The way they pick apart media (e.g., critiquing Taylor’s album production choices: “this is actually so bad… where are the brass instruments that would match the aesthetic of the album?? Just generic pop ass album”) shows an analytical, aesthetic-minded brain more than a purely emotional one. Even their joking references to Rachmaninoff and engineering draining their time (“Rachmaninoff save me”, “being an engineering student truly takes away all of your time”) reinforce a picture of someone whose identity is deeply tied to learning, analysis, and creative/intellectual pursuits. While they have bits of Slytherin ambition in their transfer and grade goals, the dominant throughline is cerebral, critical, and arts-and-academia focused, which is classic Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings - Caroline Polachek
A song that best suits them is So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings by Caroline Polachek, because it balances ironic drama, yearning, and playful horniness in the same way their timeline does. They constantly swing between exaggerated thirst and campy humor, like when they say “I would gulp gallons of his sweat” and threaten to pounce at the sight of Robert’s bare cheeks in “TRUST IM GONNA POUNCE”. There’s also a thread of lonely, slightly self-mocking desire in posts like “I need a man” and the emo-tinged bio, which fits the song’s mix of genuine longing and camp. Their love of dramatic, slightly over-the-top pop culture moments—like screaming “OH GODSLAYYYTER” and obsessing over niche art-pop girls—matches the song’s sleek, hyper-stylized pop sensibility. Overall, the track’s vibe of being melodramatically lovesick yet self-aware mirrors how they tweet about crushes, fandom, and feelings with both sincerity and a wink.
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