Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Radical Honesty: She openly shares her struggles with mental health and "psychosis episodes" to connect with others.
- Self-Awareness: She recognizes her own toxic behaviors, such as being "hyper aware that i’m splitting" on her partner.
- Resilience: Despite significant hurdles, she celebrates milestones like "living by myself" and passing her "drivers test."
- Community Spirit: She actively seeks to support and engage with her followers, often "interaction farming to feel something" via song assignments.
- Professional Responsibility: She shows dedication to her job, resisting urges because she fears "missing my work shifts" and letting her team down.
Weaknesses:
- Self-Harm Dependency: She views self-injury as a reward, stating "if i clean my house i can cut!" as an incentive.
- Substance Misuse: She uses alcohol and vaping as coping mechanisms, even drinking "opened" old wine or mixing "soju and vodka."
- Relationship Sabotage: She exhibits self-sabotaging tendencies, asking her partner to "please just break up with me."
- Treatment Avoidance: She expresses significant dread regarding professional help, saying she's "shitting myself" about attending therapy.
- Impulse Control: She struggles with immediate urges, such as wanting to "crash my car on purpose" during moments of high distress.
Your Simpsons character
Barney Gumble
Lola shares a deep resonance with Barney Gumble due to her repetitive cycle of short-lived sobriety followed by a return to self-destructive habits, much like Barney’s battle with his vices. She acknowledges this pattern when she tells her followers she is healed only to say, “i’ll see u in a few weeks to a few months when i relapse again”. Like Barney’s erratic behavior during his low points, Lola describes intense emotional instability, noting, “i am so hyper aware that i’m splitting on my bf and i am so hyper aware that im irrationally angry”. Despite her struggles, she maintains a self-deprecating and dark sense of humor about her situation, once joking, “guys this is my way out. this is how i retire by 21.”. Ultimately, her life in The Simpsons universe would be defined by the same tragic but sympathetic loop of trying to stay clean while being pulled back by her environment.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Lola leans toward Introversion, frequently discussing solitary struggles and stating she “deleted all of my socials completely isolated from my irls”. Her Intuitive side is shown through abstract self-analysis and the “overwhelming urge to look as sick as i feel” to prove her internal pain. As a Feeling type, her decisions are driven by intense emotional volatility, often “splitting” on her partner or feeling “intense guilt” regarding her actions. Finally, her Perceiving nature is evident in her lack of structure and impulsive habits, such as when she admits she “clogged the flip side” because she didn't know how to use the platform, or her spontaneous decisions to relapse based on immediate moods.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a beach town in winter? Because despite all those layers, you’re still the only thing I’m looking at.
- I promise I’ll never just reply with a ‘???’—I’d much rather listen to you pour your heart out for hours.
- Forget the old man yaoi, how about a 20yo girlfail and a guy who thinks she’s actually winning at everything?
- If you’re still assigning songs to people's vibes, I’m hoping mine sounds like something you’d keep on repeat.
- I heard your carbon copy vibrator gave up on you, but I’m a high-voltage original and I never run out of charge.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
20yo beach resident and newly solo homeowner. Ask me about passing my driving test on the first try or my quest for the perfect, most reliable vibrator. 🌊🚗– @lola1960638
Your signature cocktail
The Winter Shore 'System' Sour
This experimental, high-energy drink reflects Lola’s move to a seaside town where “it’s so fucking cold” and the chaos of her 20s. The Red Bull base honors her choice of a “no sugar redbull instead of a regular redbull” during sleepless stretches, while the vodka nods to her nights “mixing soju and vodka”. Despite the sharp edges, there’s a hopeful sweetness underneath, mirroring her “4 or so months” of being clean while living on her own for the first time.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Lola demonstrates a sharp focus on self-preservation and resourcefulness, often weighing the practical consequences of her actions, such as when she hesitates to self-harm because “it’s so hard to find a cover” for her work shifts or fears it will “be so much harder to remove / cover up” a tattoo. She exhibits a cunning nature by admitting she is “interaction farming to feel something” and shows ambition through her desire to “retire by 21”. Her honesty about her own manipulative tendencies, such as when she declares “i am actually a liar” regarding her sobriety goals, aligns with the Slytherin trait of being unapologetically true to one's own complex nature and personal agendas.
Your movie
Your song
Liability - Lorde
The song's themes of feeling like a burden to others and the cycle of self-sabotage deeply mirror lola's digital footprint. Lola expresses a painful awareness of how her mental health affects her partner, tweeting, “my partner will literally never understand my mental health issues and it kills me” and “they deserve so much better”. Like the song's narrative of retreating into isolation when things get too heavy, she mentions “deleted all of my socials completely isolated from my irls”. Ultimately, her posts reflect the Liability sentiment of being 'too much' for people, captured in her struggle with “splitting on my bf” and the constant pull toward self-harm as a coping mechanism.
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