
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This user most closely matches Comic Book Guy: hyper-online, extremely opinionated, and constantly delivering caustic, know-it-all commentary on everything and everyone. Like Comic Book Guy’s “Worst. Episode. Ever.” shtick, they fire off sweeping dismissals such as “I’m right about literally everything and everyone else is delusional” and contemptuous takes like “I find hilarious how Nick Fuentes’ entire audience are lobotomized chimpanzees”. They have a very online culture-war fixation, evident in lines like “Leftists trying to co opt white nationalist lingo is cringe and doesn’t work” and “Being antisemitic is the new safe edgy”, which mirrors Comic Book Guy’s obsession with ideological purity and subcultural in-jokes. The smug superiority and aggressive nitpicking—e.g., “Thinking New England is gerrymandered is really the litmus test for whether a magatard is retarded” and “Niggas are citing Nick Fuentes like he’s a philosopher😭”—also fit his condescending, pedantic persona. Even their pop-culture and internet-fatigue posts, like “I have ai slop fatigue” and “I’ve liked Cyberpunk 2077 since its release. Recently people have started embracing it which is bizarre considering the reaction at launch”, resemble Comic Book Guy’s gatekeeping and jaded fan behavior.

Your MBTI personality Type
The user demonstrates Introversion through a detached, observational stance and a distaste for performative social displays, such as calling consumption-based protests “incredibly vain and indolent”. Their Intuition is highlighted by a focus on systemic patterns and linguistic evolutions, noted when they observe how right-wingers “now use the term ‘Global South’ as pejorative”. A strong Thinking preference is evident in their blunt, often abrasive logic and rejection of emotional appeals, exemplified by their criticism of the GOP for using “vague emotional appeals to 9/11”. Finally, their Judging trait manifests in a need for intellectual consistency and a dismissive attitude toward those they perceive as disorganized or nonsensical, stating they have “never seen a post from this guy that isn’t incessant nonsensical rambling”.

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Your new Twitter bio
Political commentator and analyst interested in North American demographics and cultural linguistics. Once missed a flight because I was arguing about escalators.– @lolberthater

Your signature cocktail
This drink is strong and confrontational, designed for someone who claims “I’m right about literally everything and everyone else is delusional”. The Bourbon provides a classic base for a user who despises “modern American values”, while the bitter Arak notes reflect their specific disdain for “Persianoids”. The Canadian water provides a 'generic' filler for someone fascinated by “Canadians have a generic accent”, served in a glass chilled enough to kill an “anime pfp”. It’s an acquired taste, best enjoyed while complaining that “Chud was a better term when it hadn’t broken containment yet”.

Your Hogwarts House
The user demonstrates a classic Slytherin preoccupation with lineage, hierarchy, and the preservation of ingroup identity, frequently using exclusionary language to determine who belongs. They exhibit a sharp, cynical resourcefulness in dismantling the arguments of others, such as when they critique the “appropriation of terms by the other side” or dismiss the validity of “American Orthodox converts” as mere LARPing. Their ambition is rooted in a desire for a curated social order, evidenced by their extreme suggestion to “nuke LA into the Stone Age” to purge perceived degeneracy. Furthermore, their pride and self-assuredness are absolute, explicitly stating, “I’m right about literally everything and everyone else is delusional.”

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Your song
The user exhibits a cynical, world-weary persona that is intensely critical of modern political movements and social trends, echoing the song's themes of power and shifting control. They display a high level of self-assurance, claiming “I’m right about literally everything and everyone else is delusional”, while simultaneously expressing deep frustration with the current state of global affairs. Their frequent commentary on the “insanity” of the right and left, such as noting how “The right have gone insane”, suggests a desire for a different social order. Ultimately, their constant critique of public figures and global demographics, including the wish for Trump to “cut the subcontinent off the internet”, reflects the song’s focus on the restless human desire for influence and the chaotic nature of the 'great design.'

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lolberthater
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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