
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The account’s chaotic, horny, and irreverent energy lines up most closely with Bart Simpson. They’re mischievous and provocative in a way Bart would absolutely relate to, saying things like “Giving my boyfriend a glass of my pee and telling him it’s pineapple juice ☺️”, which is pure prank-goblin energy. Like Bart, they posture loudly and comedically about what they like, e.g. “i like cute semes and beefy ukes because it GETS MY FUCKING COCK HARD AND IT ALWAYS HAS SINCE I’VE BEEN 13”, and go on over-the-top rants such as “Guys stop fucking with my beefy ukes i hope they kill your entire family too get off my tl 😭😭😭 … lovebeefyukes OUT”. At the same time, there’s a softer, earnest side underneath the trolling, visible in posts about their boyfriend and emotional life like “Good morning yaoilings i just got off a 15 hour call with my super cute boyfriend who im seeing in march life is so beautiful”. That mix of juvenile humor, rebellion, and genuine affection fits Bart far better than the more serious or reserved main characters.

Your MBTI personality Type
They explicitly state they got ENFP on an MBTI test: “i had to take the mbti test for my stupid class and i got enfp”, and their behavior strongly aligns with that type. E vs I: They constantly share their life publicly, from long boyfriend calls to work and school stress, and address their followers as a community (e.g., “Good KEISUKE morning yaoilings…”, “THANK YOU FOR 300 YAOILINGS!!”), suggesting energy from external interaction rather than withdrawal. N vs S: Although they talk about concrete things (work, hair, gym), they frame them through ideas, identities, and narratives, like calling themselves a “gender abolitionist, and an intersectional Marxist feminist” and a philosophy major in “I literally major in philosophy, am a gender abolitionist, and an intersectional Marxist feminist.”, which shows a preference for abstract concepts and ideologies over pure sensory detail. F vs T: Their arguments are driven by values and feelings; when defending their tastes they use emotional and personal language like “Are you too fucking dense to realize that maybe some people just like it? i like cute semes and beefy ukes because it GETS MY FUCKING COCK HARD…”, and they speak openly about BPD and their boyfriend’s emotional support (“my boyfriend has literally had to deal with me sobbing on call over it…”). P vs J is more mixed, but they repeatedly struggle with structure and time management, talking about accidentally taking the wrong meds and then facing a full day of classes (“i got less than 2 hours of sleep last night because i accidentally took my morning stimulant instead of my night meds and now i have to go to classes all day”) and only later deciding to plan their limited free time (“i only have limited time so i think i will dedicate my free time… gym visual novels studying japanese… i hate having to manage my time”), which suggests a naturally flexible, spontaneous style that’s forced into planning by circumstances rather than preference. Overall, the combination of highly expressive social energy, abstract/theoretical interests, emotionally-charged value-driven communication, and reluctant, externally-imposed structure is most consistent with ENFP.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Philosophy major, intersectional Marxist feminist, and BL enjoyer. Balancing retail shifts, gym dreams, Japanese study, and 15-hour calls with my boyfriend.– @lovebeefyukes

Your signature cocktail
This drink hits as hard as their timeline: the overproof dark rum is for the intense, slightly unhinged horny energy and work grind, like “i goon to buff ukes” and “This is what being a 20 year old employed college student feels like”. Strawberry-mango liqueur brings a bright, gushy sweetness for their loud love life and constant boyfriend thirst, as seen in “Good morning yaoilings i just got off a 15 hour call with my super cute boyfriend” and “Sending my boyfriend to ask people why they blocked me he is a good boy”. Matcha syrup nods to their BL/otome and Japanese focus, quietly caffeinated and nerdy, like “i need to get back to hardcore studying japanese and then do a fan retranslation of musubi and a translation of kiwame” and all their Paradise/Lamento marathons. Lime juice adds sharp acidity for the dramatic meltdowns and unapologetic rants, such as “Guys stop fucking with my beefy ukes i hope they kill your entire family too get off my tl” and “i’m not prepared i’m sleep deprived i’m hungry i’m going to sound like a stupid chud idiot”. It’s all topped with sparkling yuzu soda for their ENFP, chaotic-but-joyful fizz, matching “Life is sugoi” and the giddy excitement of “IM GOING TO VISIT MY BOYFRIEND OVER SPRING BREAK IM SO HAPPY”.

Your Hogwarts House
They show classic Gryffindor loudness and willingness to charge into conflict to defend what they like. When people attack their niche tastes, they don’t play it safe or diplomatic; instead they post things like “Guys stop fucking with my beefy ukes i hope they kill your entire family too get off my tl 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 lovebeefyukes OUT” and “I’m about to start blocking people who hate on my beefy ukes it IS that serious”, which is impulsive, dramatic, and very stand-your-ground. Their identity and politics are also worn on their sleeve in a bold way, e.g. “I literally major in philosophy, am a gender abolitionist, and an intersectional Marxist feminist.”, suggesting a moral/ideological bravery in how openly they present themselves. Even when overwhelmed by work and classes, they tackle things head‑on with a kind of stubborn courage, as in “i’m stressing i don’t want to go to my 3 hour seminar i’m not prepared i’m sleep deprived i’m hungry i’m going to sound like a stupid chud idiot” yet still go and engage. Their impulsive, emotionally charged posts about hair regret and life struggles, like “I MISS MY HAIR BEFORE I CUT IT I HATE MY STUPID CHUD LIFE 😭😭😭…”, read much more like a passionate Gryffindor than the calculated restraint of Slytherin or the quiet steadiness of Hufflepuff. While they are intellectually engaged (philosophy major, VN analysis), the dominant impression is fiery, confrontational, and heart-on-sleeve—very Gryffindor.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑known song that fits them is “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry, because so much of their personality revolves around intense, messy, hyper-romantic feelings and sexual energy. They’re openly horny and playful about it, calling themselves a “seke pervert” in their bio and saying “i like cute semes and beefy ukes because it GETS MY FUCKING COCK HARD”, which mirrors the song’s breathless, charged view of love and attraction. Their relationship with their boyfriend is central and idealized in a very youthful way—“Good morning yaoilings i just got off a 15 hour call with my super cute boyfriend who im seeing in march life is so beautiful” and “boyfriend time every day is a guarantee”—echoing the song’s feeling of love making life feel magical. The melodramatic intensity of lines like “this was my 9/11 (i have bpd)” and their huge emotions over hair, yaoi, and gym dreams all fit the heightened, all-or-nothing emotional world that Teenage Dream celebrates.

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