Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Niche Expertise: Demonstrates “encyclopedic knowledge on the fullmetal alchemist games” and obscure franchise media.
- Creative Output: Actively produces original art, such as “drawing ed fatter and fatter over time”.
- Analytical Thinking: Engages in deep series analysis, like determining character ages from “this screenshot alone”.
- Strong Identity: He is firm about his pronouns and “changing my legal name to edward” once he passes.
- Humorous Delivery: Utilizes self-deprecating internet humor, depicting himself as the “Chad hydrogen bomb” in arguments.
Weaknesses:
- Low Self-Esteem: Refers to himself as a “fat fucking loser” whom nobody likes.
- Impulsive Posting: Admits to a “porn addiction” involving fictional characters publicly.
- Poor Health Habits: Mentions that “nearly fainted today” and struggles with medication side effects.
- Social Anxiety: Expresses being “anxious” about sharing ideas in community Discord servers.
- Hostile Defensive Style: His bio labels him as “ANGRY AND SPITEFUL” toward those who disagree with him.
Your Simpsons character
Comic Book Guy
Much like Jeff Albertson, this user is a hyper-fixated superfan who defines their entire identity through niche media, specifically the Full Metal Alchemist franchise. They exhibit a cynical, "well actually" attitude in their bio—“Unfortunately for you I’ve depicted myself as the Chad hydrogen bomb and you as the coughing baby, therefore I’m right and you’re wrong.”—mirroring the character's elitist gatekeeping. Their feed is dominated by obsessive, often inappropriate commentary on character designs, frequently declaring their opinions as “objectively correct”. Furthermore, the user shares the character's self-deprecating humor regarding their physique and lifestyle, stating, “i'm such a fat fucking loser no wonder why nobody likes me.” Ultimately, their blend of encyclopedic game knowledge, online combativeness, and extreme fetishes makes them the Springfield equivalent of a devoted, basement-dwelling collector.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Edward exhibits Introversion (I) through his focus on solitary hobbies like emulators and a self-deprecating online presence, admitting “i would like to post my ideas in discord servers without feeling anxious about it”. His Intuition (N) is seen in his preoccupation with theoretical 'what-if' scenarios and niche character analyses, such as his “fma au where hohenheim drops from the sky”. He leans toward Feeling (F), as his posts are deeply personal and emotional, ranging from crying over transphobic interactions to declaring “i’m such a fat fucking loser no wonder why nobody likes me”. Finally, his Perceiving (P) nature is evident in his disorganized, spontaneous lifestyle, noted when he mentions “just remembered my shitty hohen & dante analysis that i scrapped and lost” and his struggles with focus and late-night medication.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you an FMA video game guide? Because I’ve been searching everywhere for your stats, but I'm pretty sure you're in a league of your own.
- Call me an 'anti,' because I’m about to respect your pronouns so hard while we argue over which FMA 03 episode had the best lighting.
- I may not have a pet lion or a 3DS island, but I’d definitely take a picture of us every once in a while like a sky-diving Hohenheim.
- Is your name Edward? Because even if you were a girl, I’d still think you’re the smartest guy alive with an IQ of at least 5.
- Forget the Chad hydrogen bomb—you’re the only 'canonical homeless shota' I’d ever let into my heart (and my fridge).
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Trans-masculine FMA historian and digital artist. Passionate about obscure gaming trivia and character analysis. Once analyzed Hohenheim’s lore until I passed out.– @mametsubu_edo
Your signature cocktail
The Golden-Amber Hydrogen Bomb
This experimental drink is designed for the 'smartest guy alive' who depicts himself as a 'Chad hydrogen bomb'. The heavy cream base honors his dedication to 'ed’s fatassery' and his specific affinity for 'shota ed being inexplicably fat'. To match his 2003 anime obsession, the gold luster dust creates an eye color that is 'more of a golden/amber color than straight up yellow'. Finally, the high-proof rum ensures the drink is strong enough to make you feel like you 'nearly fainted today hooray!', capturing Edward’s intense and unfiltered energy.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Edward displays a classic Slytherin disregard for conventional social norms, prioritizing his niche interests and personal satisfaction over general likability, as seen when he tweets, “i'm such a fat fucking loser no wonder why nobody likes me”. His bio sets a confrontational, self-assured tone of superiority: “I’ve depicted myself as the Chad hydrogen bomb and you as the coughing baby, therefore I’m right and you’re wrong.” He exhibits a resourceful and analytical approach to his obsession, performing deep dives like “did a little thinking on roy's age... which also sorta confirms that ed might've been born Early/late January” to validate his headcanons. Ultimately, his fierce protection of his identity—demanding specific pronouns with “(NO THEY/THEM)”—and his ambition to gain “encyclopedic knowledge on the fullmetal alchemist games” cement him as a Slytherin who values personal truth and specialized mastery above all else.
Your movie
Your song
Fat - “Weird Al” Yankovic
This user is intensely focused on a very specific niche, frequently expressing a desire to see characters—and themselves—become physically massive, making this parody of Michael Jackson’s Bad the perfect anthem. They explicitly state their creative direction, tweeting “i’ve been drawing ed fatter and fatter over time” and asserting that “shotas are at their sexiest when they’re straight up circular”. Their obsession with weight is absolute, as they claim “if i start talking about skinny ed call emergency services asap” and even fantasize about specific weights like “900lbs”. The song’s hyperbolic lyrics about being a 'titansize' individual match the user's extreme aesthetic and their self-professed “massive feeding & belly fetish”.
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