Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Loyal fandom: Demonstrates long-term dedication, celebrating being a fan of “13yo me is seeing his ult bias” even years later.
- Community advocate: Actively lobbies organizers for “upgraded venues” to ensure more fans can attend shows.
- Supportive friend: Celebrates their friend's success in securing tickets, thanking “DICE” for the opportunity.
- Resourceful researcher: Compiles and shares detailed tour information including “upgraded venues” and schedule changes for others.
- Nostalgic appreciation: Finds joy in past memories, such as “finding a 3DS and Pokémon SoulSilver” from their childhood.
Weaknesses:
- Aggressive language: Uses harsh, confrontational phrasing like “jv niquer ppm” when frustrated with tour logistics.
- Impulsive spender: Admits to spending an excessive “€836,7” on makeup and skincare products.
- Highly judgmental: Openly mocks others' appearances or behaviors, labeling things “ugly asf” or calling people “teubés”.
- Vulgar expression: Frequent use of profanity and crude imagery, such as suggesting people “take a 42 inches dildo up their ass”.
- Short temper: Quick to express extreme anger, stating “jv peter un plomb” over minor schedule inconveniences.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Like Lisa, Matteo is a highly principled, intellectual, and eclectic individual who isn't afraid to voice strong opinions on social issues and culture. They demonstrate a sophisticated taste in music and media, often acting as a vocal advocate for their favorites, such as when they demanded “upgrade the french venue it sold out in less than a minute so the demand is high”. Their bio identifies them as an “eclectic pagan” with specific pronouns, mirroring Lisa's journey into alternative spirituality and identity. Furthermore, they share Lisa’s biting wit and skepticism toward authority and mainstream trends, seen when they critique industry practices by stating “it’s not normal we have to find it that way”. Ultimately, both the user and Lisa are passionate stans of the arts who value authenticity over popularity.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Matteo identifies as an INFP in their bio, a type characterized by strong personal values and an idealistic outlook. Their Introversion and Intuition are evident in their deep, personal connection to music and niche media, such as finding emotional resonance in re-discovering a “3ds and pokémon soulsilver” or manifesting abstract artistic collaborations like “YVES X FKATWIGS IS SO HAPPENING”. As a Feeling type, they prioritize emotional authenticity and social justice, fiercely defending their idols while being blunt about their dislikes, such as calling out “performative” behavior. Their Perceiving nature is shown through their spontaneous, eclectic interests and their frustration with rigid structures, often reacting emotionally to sudden changes like venue upgrades or “waiting list” frustrations.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a ticket for the Yves show in Paris? Because you sold out in less than a minute and you're the only win I care about.
- Forget the €836.70 skincare routine—you already look like you’ve been blessed by an eclectic pagan ritual.
- Is your name SoulSilver? Because finding you feels like a 13-year-old’s dream come true on a vintage 3ds.
- I may not be a heavy metal version of Chuu, but I’d still go to extreme lengths just to see you charting in my life.
- If you’re looking for a new job to add to your 3,738,95 others, I have an opening for an 'Ult Bias' position that pays in 100% devotion.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Paris-based K-pop enthusiast and eclectic pagan. From tracking Yves' tour venue upgrades to perfecting an €800 skincare routine, I’m always on the move.– @manandreaa
Your signature cocktail
The Yves-Sential Parisienne Faguette
This cocktail is a flamboyant, 'eclectic' tribute to a French Orbit who finally 'won' by seeing their ultimate bias. The Soju base represents their intense K-Pop dedication, specifically the moment they screamed “IM SEEING YVES IM SEEING YVES I WON”, while the St-Germain and Sparkling Rosé capture the stylish energy of someone who “ordered a faguette” in the streets of Paris. The drink is unapologetically strong yet sweet, mirroring their heterophobic humor and the fact that they spent “€836,7” on skincare and makeup to look 'diva' for the show. A dash of grapefruit bitters reflects their blunt critiques of 'shitty endings' and 'boring' artists, because even a dedicated fan knows when to say “nobody needs and wants you btw”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Matteo demonstrates a classic Slytherin mix of ambition and a sharp, unapologetic tongue, often prioritizing their own interests and the success of their 'faves.' They display a resourcefulness and demand for excellence, bluntly stating “nobody needs and wants you btw” toward those they dislike and showing a shrewd focus on status and results, such as when they celebrate that “yves sold out almost every venue in less than a minute”. Their self-preservation and 'us versus them' mentality is evident in their prideful claim that “heterophobia exists!!!!! I am heterophobic 🤤💕”. Ultimately, their fierce loyalty is reserved for a select inner circle, viewed through a lens of power and influence within their community.
Your movie
Your song
Hi High - LOONA
As a dedicated Orbit and self-described resident of “loonaisland”, Matteo’s online persona is defined by the high-energy, chaotic devotion found in this K-pop anthem. Their intense excitement over seeing their “ult bias” Yves live in Paris perfectly mirrors the song's themes of rushing toward a long-awaited climax. Matteo’s personality is unapologetically bold and “heterophobic,” matching the bright, subversive energy of the group they champion. Even when stressed by venue changes, they maintain a frantic, passionate tone, screaming “IM SEEING YVES I WON” in a way that captures the euphoric peak of the track.
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