Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Brutal Sincerity: She values truth even when it's uncomfortable, such as supporting a bride who “lied to a makeup artist” to avoid inflated wedding prices.
- Devoted Motherhood: She shows immense dedication to her daughter, “making beans at midnight” and waking up at 6 AM to do her makeup for school events.
- Cultural Appreciation: She expresses deep admiration for Brazilian talent, praising actors like “Enrique Díaz” and the performance of “Alice Carvalho” in Renascer.
- Resilient Humor: She uses comedy to cope with physical pain, comparing “removing gel nails” to the recovery of her 2008 C-section.
- Social Awareness: She advocates for generosity, “criticizing people who sell” items instead of donating them to those in need.
Weaknesses:
- Low Patience: She admits to having “zero patience” for slow-moving people and openly states she “hates people” when working with the public.
- Extreme Mood Swings: She describes her temperament as “0 or 100” with no middle ground, refusing to moderate her reactions to small issues.
- Judgmental Attitude: She frequently insults others' personalities, calling a user “chatas” (annoying) and mocking women who post about their “exemplary” domestic lives.
- Superstitious Anxiety: She attributes her bad moods and life problems to her “astral hell” during the month preceding her birthday.
- Vindictive Streak: She finds joy in the agitation of others, specifically stating that “conservatives foaming” makes her very happy.
Your Simpsons character
Marge Simpson
Despite her role as a mother, @mariaugustaa possesses a sharp, cynical wit and a low tolerance for nonsense that mirrors the more realistic, exhausted side of Marge Simpson. She balances the domestic grind of making “beans at midnight” for her family with a judgmental eye toward social pretension, much like Marge observing Springfield's chaos. Her personality is defined by a weary pragmatism, shown when she admits to being “100% on the side of the bride” who lied to save money, reflecting Marge's own frugal and sensible nature. Furthermore, her blunt assessments of people being “annoying” or “scummy” capture that classic Simpson matriarchal sass when she finally reaches her breaking point with the town's antics.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTP
Maria exhibits strong Extraversion (E) through her vocal, high-energy commentary on public life and social events like Carnival, as seen when she tweets, “Teje aberto o carnaval e as perna 🤭”. Her Sensing (S) and Thinking (T) traits manifest in her blunt, grounded, and often cynical observations about physical reality and human behavior, such as her practical take on the 'bride vs. makeup artist' drama: “I am 349% on the side of the bride who was a genius lying to the makeup artist so as not to inflate the service”. She is unapologetically direct and unsentimental, frequently calling out others for being 'annoying' or 'fake,' which aligns with the ESTP's 'Dynamo' or 'Entrepreneur' profile. Her Perceiving (P) nature is evident in her spontaneous lifestyle and low tolerance for slow-moving processes, exemplified by her frustration with a slow video: “I've completely lost my patience waiting for this slug to finish folding... I would fold a whole machine of clothes at this speed”.
Some pickup lines for you
- I promise I’m much more efficient than that person folding clothes—I can get through a whole machine of laundry and still have time to take you out to Bar do Cuscuz.
- Are you a professional makeup artist? Because you’ve managed to cover up all my toxic traits just by looking at me.
- I won’t make you wait until you’re 18 or give you a second-degree burn, but I’d definitely be the 'genius' move in your life that requires zero expectations and 100% chemistry.
- You can stop looking for which 'ex' is available; I’m already here and I promise I’m not a 'fleumática' or a 'cacura'—just someone who admires your 10-ring aesthetic.
- Forget the citizenship of Campina Grande; I’d rather give you a permanent residency in my heart, even if it’s currently a 'novela' or a 'calor dos infernos' outside.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Sociology dropout and professional makeup artist from Campina Grande. Surviving the chaos of motherhood since 2008 with caffeine, 20 rings, and zero patience.– @mariaugustaa
Your signature cocktail
The 0 or 100 Spritz
This drink captures a personality that refuses to settle for the middle ground, inspired by the tweet “O meu humor eh 0 ou 100, não existe meio termo”. The aged Cachaça honors her Campina Grande roots and the 'cacura' energy of a seasoned woman who has survived a “cesárea de 2008”, while the bitter Campari represents her low tolerance for 'chata' behavior and “gente escrota”. The spiced syrup reflects the heat of her “inferno astral” and the spicy chaos of her life that feels like a “novela”. Finally, the silver glitter is a nod to her love for “10 dedos, 20 anéis e as unhas feitas”, ensuring the drink is as elegant as it is unapologetically blunt.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Maria displays a sharp, pragmatic wit and a strong sense of self-preservation that is hallmark Slytherin. She values resourcefulness over convention, notably siding with a bride who lied to a makeup artist to avoid inflated prices, stating she was “349% do lado da noiva q foi gênia mentindo pra maquiadora n inflacionar o serviço q ela queria”. Her social commentary is often biting and direct, showing a disdain for perceived phoniness or lack of status, such as when she critiques “umas cacura da minha idade q agora fazem a linha esposa/mãe/dona do lar exemplar” or warns about the lack of “elegância” money can't buy. Finally, her ambition and bluntness regarding social hierarchies are clear in her observations of people who “n podia ver um pau ou homi casado q derrubava” now acting as moral authorities.
Your movie
Your song
Don't Tell Me - Madonna
With a profile named pavão misterioso and a personality that thrives on being blunt and unfiltered, @mariaugustaa embodies a spirit of fierce independence. She celebrates provocative figures, tweeting “Se tem conservador espumando eu to mto feliz. Obg por td Madonna” and even explicitly quoting the song title “Dont tell me” during the singer's performance. Her tweets reflect a refusal to be controlled or judged by social norms, seen when she mocks “Umas cacura da minha idade q agora fazem a linha esposa/mãe/dona do lar exemplar”. This defiance, combined with her pride in her chaotic life and “humor eh 0 ou 100”, aligns perfectly with the song's theme of resisting someone else's attempt to define or change her.
Your time travel destination
Your video game
Your spirit animal
Your (un)funny joke
Your superpower
Your fictional best friend
Your dream vacation
Your alternate career path
Your celebrity match
Did you enjoy your Horoscope?
Your horoscope is 36 days old! Generate a better one from your latest tweets, unlock more insights and use a smarter pro AI!
