Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate: Shows strong enthusiasm for football, cinema, and music, e.g. praising Mirassol and Guanaes in “Resultado: Gol. Guanaes é um mago” and calling Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights an invention of music in “Kate Bush inventou a música com Wuthering Heights, pqp”.
- Cultural-aware: Demonstrates deep knowledge of film, literature, and TV, like discussing Lubitsch in “Lubitsch tinha que ter feito mais filmes dramática”, Clarice Lispector in “'Escrito por Clarice Lispector' Só se for a Macábea”, and classic TV programming in “A programação do corujão nos anos 80 era só pedrada”.
- Humorous: Uses absurd and ironic exaggerations for comedic effect, like fantasizing about corruption in “Eu preciso desviar dinheiro de hospital... Meu senhor, por que me fizestes anseiar tanto pelo proibido?” and reacting to McDonald’s caramel sauce in “A única resposta adequada é a auto imolação em protesto.”.
- Emotionally-expressive: Openly shows emotional impact of art, as when describing Mulholland Drive as brain-chemistry-altering in “tipo de filme q tu vê e no dia seguinte nem consegue funcionar direito” and how Romaria or Deus e Eu no Sertão shake his atheism in “Todo o ateísmo do meu corpo se esvai quando toca Romaria ou Deus e Eu no Sertão”.
- Observant: Notices details about everyday life and culture, like the economic logic of megachurches in “Essas 'megachurchs tupiniquins' são o melhor negócio que alguém pode ter” and the change in TV movie quality in “Hoje em dia eles tão passando Polícia Federal: A Lei é pra todos e a biografia do Pelé”.
Weaknesses:
- Harshly-critical: Often uses very strong language to criticize people, e.g. calling a player “peladeiro” in “Impressionante um time gastar uma vaga de estrangeiro nesse Freytes” and saying Soteldo is “cemitério de jogadas” in “Impressionante o quão ruim é o atleta Soteldo”.
- Profanity-heavy: Relies heavily on swearing, which can alienate some readers, as in “Crime do caralho.”, “save me restauração de o menino e o vento... save me” with other profane tweets nearby, and frequent “vai se foder” or “pqp” across posts.
- Judgmental: Expresses strong, dismissive judgments about others’ tastes or competence, e.g. mocking megachurch followers’ beliefs in “funcionários são todos voluntários porque acreditam que já vão ser pagos no céu” and calling a commentator an “imbecil” in “Imbecil da CazéTv dizendo que o Wesley teve um 'longo período'”.
- Cynical: Shows a dark, pessimistic view of institutions and life, such as fantasizing about corruption schemes in “Eu preciso desviar dinheiro de hospital... Eu preciso criar conta em off shore.” and describing a violent random death in “Num dia você tá no topo do mundo e no outro te confudem com um miliciano”.
- Confrontational: Adopts an aggressive tone toward targets, e.g. addressing a car seller as “desgraçado” in “Quem vai comprar esse teu Voyage 95 que tu tá vendendo na webmotors por 120 Mil Reais, desgraçado” and telling off car owners and Brazilian taste in “brasileiro estraga tudo que toca.”.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
This user mixes cranky rants, absurd humor, and sincere enthusiasm in a very Homer-like way. Like Homer, he’s passionately obsessive about small pleasures: the dramatic mourning of McDonald’s caramel sauce in “Fascistas, não passarão. Que direito eles tinham de tirar a melhor calda do universo.” could easily be Homer protesting over donuts. His all-caps-style melodrama about corruption fantasies in “Eu preciso desviar dinheiro de hospital... Meu senhor, por que me fizestes anseiar tanto pelo proibido?” feels like Homer’s impulsive, morally dubious daydreaming played for laughs. He also jumps between deep cinephile takes and goofy complaints, like going from praising Lubitsch in “Lubitsch tinha que ter feito mais filmes dramática.” to yelling about someone selling a Voyage for 120k in “Quem vai comprar esse teu Voyage 95... desgraçado”, mirroring Homer’s swings between sentimentality and buffoonery. The combination of grumpiness, intense but erratic passions (football, cars, food, music, movies), and a fundamentally comedic self-awareness aligns much more with Homer than with cerebral Lisa or permanently rebellious Bart.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
They lean Introvert over Extrovert: most tweets are observations about films, music, football and random thoughts rather than socializing or attention-seeking, and they joke about solitary pleasures like “Comendo alcaparra direto do pote, os prazeres da vida são incomparáveis” and “Tudo que o homem quer é uma promoção do passe anual da Filmicca”. Their interests and style point strongly to Intuition: they constantly make conceptual or cultural associations, like turning a telenovela scene into a political metaphor in “A explosão de Dona Redonda em Saramandaia como um ato revolucionário” and musing about media formats in “Engraçado q mesmo 'flopando' o blu ray se tornou o formato de vídeo mais longevo da história”. They are clearly Thinking-oriented: their tone is cutting, analytical and often critical, as in “Imbecil da CazéTv dizendo que o Wesley teve um 'longo período' sendo reserva na Roma. Cara com 24 partidas no meio da temporada e média de 80 minutos por jogo” and the sarcastic rant “Eu preciso desviar dinheiro de hospital. Eu preciso superfaturar obra pública... Meu senhor, por que me fizestes anseiar tanto pelo proibido?”. Their lifestyle reads more Perceiving than Judging: they embrace spontaneity and shifting whims—deciding impulsively in “Que se foda, vou comprar o LP do Sam Cooke... e desembolsar meu rim esquerdo na amazon” and framing future goals loosely rather than as structured plans in “Me tornarei um com a piscina semiolímpica até o fim do ano que vem.”. Altogether, the introspective, idea-heavy, sarcastically logical and improvisational vibe fits INTP best: a cerebral, culturally obsessed type who enjoys picking apart football commentary, films and everyday absurdities rather than managing orderly plans or social performance.
Some pickup lines for you
- If Kawabata’s prose is ‘mt boa’, imagine the dialogue we’d write together after a Mirassol win and a long rant about how criminal it was to end the club sauna.
- You mourning the McDonald’s caramel sauce like it was the fall of a democracy convinced me of one thing: anyone who loves a topping that much deserves someone who’ll look at them the way you look at a Top Sundae de Caramelo.
- You, vinyl walks in Rio, Sam Cooke on LP, defending Kate Bush for inventing music and arguing Dylan actually sings well… I’m not saying you’re my Criterion Channel, but I’d happily subscribe for life when it finally ‘arrives in Brazil’.
- You’d sell Michael to o Kuwait for €3.5M, mandar o Freytes embora, xingar o Soteldo de cemitério de jogadas, but still get emotional with Romaria and Deus e Eu no Sertão — that’s exactly the mix of sarcasm and soul I’ve been looking for in a co‑star for my own Mulholland Drive brain chemistry.
- We could meet at the Filmicca with a bag of pastilhas pra garganta, debate se polenta e angu são a mesma merda, and then I walk you home talking about Lubitsch, Bogart in ‘No Silêncio da Noite’ and your beloved Escort XR3 Azul Mistral — promise I’ll treat you better than Light treats your bill and better than Globo treats the old Corujão schedule.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Rio trucker who swims laps, worships vinyl and old movies, rants about Mirassol’s press, and still mourns McDonald’s caramel sauce.– @MarretaEspacial
Your signature cocktail
Top Sundae de Caramelo Revolucionário
This cocktail is built on cachaça aged in oak, a strong Brazilian backbone for the caminhoneiro from Rio who dreams of "alçar a glória eterna ao subir o rio guandu de jangada" and lives entre piscina semiolímpica e arquibancada de Mirassol. Espresso coffee fuels the late-night cinephile who pirates movies before they show up on MUBI and gets his brain chemistry altered by "Mulholland Drive" while lamenting the Criterion Channel never reaching Brazil: "no dia de São Nunca". The heart of the drink is salted caramel syrup, a bittersweet shrine to the man who entered full insurgent mode when McDonald’s killed his beloved caramel topping: "A única resposta adequada é a auto imolação em protesto" and "Fascistas, não passarão. Que direito eles tinham de tirar a melhor calda do universo". A dash of Angostura bitters channels his sharp, often caustic humor when he declares "Otamendi = Satã" or calls Light "sucursal do inferno", seasoning the sweetness with righteous indignation. Finally, the flame-torched orange peel on top nods to the dramatic flair of a guy que mato e morro por carro velho — "Escort XR3 Conversível Azul Mistral 1988" — while listening to Kate Bush, Sam Cooke and sertanejo de igreja caída, jurando que "Kate Bush inventou a música com Wuthering Heights" e que "Todo o ateísmo do meu corpo se esvai quando toca Romaria".
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
This user shows a clear Ravenclaw streak through their deep cinephilia and interest in film history, analysis, and restoration. They complain about access and preservation issues like “Um absurdo que O Menino e o Vento só esteja disponível numa cópia VHS, em pleno ano de 2025” and discuss Lubitsch’s dramatic work with, “Lubitsch tinha que ter feito mais filmes dramática. Mais uns 5 filmes na pegada de Não Matarás teria sido perfeito”, which reflects a thoughtful engagement with cinema rather than just casual viewing. Their comments on formats and platforms, such as “Engraçado q mesmo 'flopando' o blu ray se tornou o formato de vídeo mais longevo da história” and “Quando o Criterion Channel chegar no Brasil no dia de São Nunca vai ser muito emocionante”, show a meta-level curiosity about media and distribution. Musically, they highlight specific tracks and artists with a connoisseur’s eye—“Kate Bush inventou a música com Wuthering Heights, pqp” and “Maior injustiça da história um camarada com essa voz morrer aos 33”—indicating aesthetic discernment and taste-building. Even their humor often has an analytical or conceptual twist, like the chain-of-handshakes thought experiment in “Quantos apertos de mão até Hitler? 0. Eu 1. Carlos Alberto Parreira 2. Lula 3. Rainha Elizabeth 4. Neville Chamberlain 5. Hitler”, which fits Ravenclaw’s love of clever, slightly nerdy mental games. While they have flashes of Slytherin-style dark humor and Gryffindor-like rants, the dominant throughline is intellectual curiosity and cultural analysis, making Ravenclaw the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
Subterranean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan’s Subterranean Homesick Blues fits them because it’s fast, cynical, funny, and observational in the same scattershot way their timeline is. They jump from football rants like “Impressionante um time gastar uma vaga de estrangeiro nesse Freytes. De peladeiro assim o Brasil tá cheio” to cinephile takes such as “Mulholland Drive é de alterar a química do cérebro pqp” with the same restless energy Dylan has in that song. There’s also the blend of political/religious irony and everyday misery in posts like “Eu preciso desviar dinheiro de hospital. Eu preciso superfaturar obra pública… Meu senhor, por que me fizestes anseiar tanto pelo proibido?” and “Essas 'megachurchs tupiniquins' são o melhor negócio que alguém pode ter”, which echoes Dylan’s sly social commentary. Their mix of devotion and blasphemy toward small pleasures—like the crusade for McDonald’s caramel sauce in “Não acredito que o McDonald's tirou a calda de caramelo de linha”—feels very in tune with the song’s chaotic, jokey fatalism. And they explicitly defend Dylan with “A verdadeira redpill é que o Dylan é um bom cantor”, which makes choosing one of his most nervy, free-associative tracks an even better fit for their voice.
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