massive_onigiri
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They most closely match Lisa Simpson: emotionally intense, opinionated, smart, and often feeling out of place. Like Lisa, they have strong ethical stances and call things out bluntly, e.g. criticizing fandom behavior in “a certain fandom try not to romanticize rape challenge: impossible 💀” and condemning creepy ship art in “this shit is disgusting this is ship art isn’t it people are so weird and disgusting”. They swing between idealistic love and deep melancholy, similar to Lisa’s mix of romanticism and depression, shown in “i love thinking about you i hope i can get better eventually so i can stand on my own and still think about you” and “pls i wanna die”. They also feel alienated and overlooked, as in “never included in anything sucks, like i get it sometimes but dude you could’ve asked me to come with”, which echoes Lisa’s frequent loneliness. Even their sharp, sometimes vicious sarcasm toward others in tweets like “loud and obnoxious people i have questions for u, why? can’t u just die? like???” fits Lisa’s capacity for moral anger when she thinks people are being shallow or cruel.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean strongly Introvert: they complain about people and social overstimulation, e.g. “being alone sucks so bad but being around a lot of people sucks too i only need one person but they’re not here 🥹 fuck my antisocial life” and “never included in anything sucks, like i get it sometimes but dude you could’ve asked me to come with”, showing a desire for deep one‑on‑one connection over crowds. Their interests and expressions point to Intuition: they gravitate toward music, fandoms, and imaginative/romantic ideas like “i always joked about how my gf should learn how to do mitosis but i think i would be overstimulated and it’s just a funny thought” and metaphorical phrasing such as “self pity and self loathing it must be hard dealing with me”, focusing on internal states more than concrete facts. The intense emotional language and value-driven judgments point to Feeling: they idealize their partner in highly affective terms like “FUCK MY GIRLFRIEND IS SUCH A GODDESS… I REALLY LOVE HER” and react morally to topics like rape romanticization and ship art, e.g. “this shit is disgusting this is ship art isn’t it people are so weird and disgusting”. Despite being blunt, their arguments are emotionally charged rather than structured logical cases, such as “everything causes cancer you can be a dork about it or you can live life”. Their behavior and tone are more Perceiving than Judging: they often express feeling lost or overwhelmed (“fuck this shitty ass life”, “what are the treatments for depression”) and operate reactively in the moment with spontaneous, hyperbolic posts like “next person i see gets a knife thrown at their face”, rather than presenting structured plans or organized routines. Combining introversion, value-centric emotional intensity, imaginative focus, and a spontaneous, unstructured lifestyle, INFP is the best-fit type.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
19 • they/them/him • Talks Raiden, Nirvana & The Walking Dead more than is legally allowed. Once planned a motorcycle trip just for the playlist.– @massive_onigiri

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is loud, volatile, and way too honest, just like their timeline—overproof rum for all the threats like “next person i see gets a knife thrown at their face” and “nobody better fucks with me rn cause i will actually kill someone”. The black coffee cold brew mirrors their exhaustion and self‑loathing spiral in “im so miserable it’s insane” and “why do i feel like i wanna kms bruh”. Cherry liqueur cuts through the bitterness with the ridiculous tenderness of “FUCK MY GIRLFRIEND IS SUCH A GODDESS…” and all the aching “i miss my wife” posts like “i miss my wife so much”. Lime juice adds sharp emo‑punk acidity in honor of their music takes like “fall out boy overrated asf ngl” and “why does patd fall off after pretty odd im ngl”. The smoked salt & chili sugar rim is there because they’re simultaneously sweet and corrosive, perfectly summed up by “i kinda hate everyone” and the unhinged affection of “you ever love someone so much that they make every other person of that gender feels so uninteresting”. This is a strong, slightly bitter, emo‑romantic chaos drink—classic at its core but dressed up just enough to feel a little deranged, like “how to disappear completely” in cocktail form.

Your Hogwarts House
Based on their tweets.

Your movie

Your song
Their timeline is packed with Panic! At The Disco references and emo aesthetics, from directly celebrating the band’s work like “happy 20th to a fever you can’t sweat out” to joking tweaks on the lyrics such as “what a shame the poor grooms bride is sahoor”. The dramatic, theatrical bitterness of I Write Sins Not Tragedies fits their mix of aggression and dark humor shown in posts like “nobody better fucks with me rn cause i will actually kill someone” and “next person i see gets a knife thrown at their face”. At the same time, the song’s core about messy relationships and jealousy resonates with their intense fixation on romantic love, as seen in “FUCK MY GIRLFRIEND IS SUCH A GODDESS… I REALLY LOVE HER” and repeated laments like “i miss my wife so much”. Their love of AFYCSO-era aesthetics is explicit in “the aesthetic of afycso is just so good”, making this particular song the most fitting anthem. Overall, the track’s sarcastic edge, theatrical emo vibe, and relationship drama mirror both their music taste and their online persona almost perfectly.

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