
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They most closely match Lisa Simpson: sharp, socially aware, a bit world-weary, and very online-core. Like Lisa, they mix moral stances with pop‑culture obsession, calling out behavior they find wrong such as “just saw all of nicki minaj’s tweets, she is OUT” and “nicki being transphobic”, while still living in a stan/media world with posts like “me at charli xcx cheating songs store”. Their bio as a social media/marketing manager and tweets about grad school and work stress, like “applying for grad school and making too much money to get a fee waiver” and “have to give my two week notice of my resignation for a new job”, echo Lisa’s overachiever, career‑minded streak. The mix of dark humor about mental health, e.g. “friend kicking me out of the family plan for youtube should i kill myself”, and genuine care for others, like “just saved three clients today” and “had to call police cuz one of my clients getting jumped”, fits Lisa’s blend of cynicism and compassion. Their pop‑culture brain (Charli XCX, Taylor, Addison Rae, UFC, anime) layered over serious concerns about clients and politics feels like Lisa grown up, extremely online, and working in media.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as an Extravert: they constantly reference social situations, work drama, and dating, and seem energized by interaction and attention, like when they joke about a supervisor watching them eat in public at work in “supervisor watching me eat one OOOO THIS EMBARRASSING” and gleefully share that an "army boyfie" is tweeting about them in “army boyfie tweeting ab me, i love stalking!!”. Their humor is very associative and idea-driven, favoring pop‑culture abstractions over concrete detail—see the layered joke in “she is the first american woman tiktoker who’s name is addison rae...”, which shows an Intuitive tendency to play with concepts and meta‑commentary. They come off as strongly Feeling‑oriented, making moral and emotional judgments (especially around celebrities and politics) like calling out behavior in “just saw all of nicki minaj’s tweets, she is OUT” and openly expressing distress in “ok now i wanna kill myself” rather than constructing logical, detached arguments. Their life and work tweets suggest a flexible, spontaneous approach more than structured planning—debating impulsive choices like “debating on going on a date with a guy for a movie n popcorn” and joking about not filing taxes in “i will not be filing my taxes for the 2024 tax year” support a Perceiving style. Overall, highly social, pop‑culture‑savvy, emotionally expressive, and improvisational behavior fits ENFP best.

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Your new Twitter bio
Social media & marketing by day, paypig whisperer by night. LA, coffee-fueled, mildly unhinged, once watched Baddies at work in front of a partner.– @mentaIlyiII

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is wired but functional, like an overcaffeinated social media/marketing manager, so it starts with vodka infused with espresso beans to capture the grind behind tweets like “i was never a business crypto bro schizo but oooooo how i miss marketing”. The hibiscus-lime hard seltzer reduction brings flirty, fizzy chaos, mirroring dates, boyfriends, and army guys in posts like “date with boyfie being at erewhon” and “cute army guy keeping me sane as we both complain ab work”. Cotton candy syrup adds pop-girl sweetness and stan energy for Charli, Addison, and co., nodding to tweets like “charli xcx looks so good here” and “she wishes she could sing like charli”. Activated charcoal lemonade swirls in the darker humor and trauma dumping—suicidal jokes and toxic exes—like “ok now i wanna kill myself” and “toxic abusive ex hasn't killed self yet like omfgggg HURRY UPPPPPP”. Finally, a glitter sugar rim reflects their dramatic, campy online persona and love of being a little extra, as seen in “on my way to the mentally ill white men store” and the unapologetic findom energy of “my og paypig came back to me and unblocked me ooooo we eatin good tn !!! findom IS BACK AGAINNN”.

Your Hogwarts House
August reads as a Slytherin whose ambition, self‑preservation, and sharp social instincts are front and center. They openly enjoy power dynamics and leverage them for ego and material gain, as in “paypig came back and sent me a video of him on knees for me. love a nice ego boost” and “my og paypig came back to me and unblocked me ooooo we eatin good tn !!! findom IS BACK AGAINNN”, which shows comfort with control and resourcefulness. Their bio notes they’re a social media/marketing manager, and they frequently discuss work and career moves—“i was never a business crypto bro schizo but oooooo how i miss marketing” and “have to give my two week notice of my resignation for a new job and my supervisor gave me a bottle of wine for christmas”—suggesting a focus on advancement and strategic decisions. They also show a ruthless, cutting edge in how they talk about people who’ve wronged them, e.g. “toxic abusive ex hasn't killed self yet like omfgggg HURRY UPPPPPP”, and a willingness to draw hard moral lines such as “just saw all of nicki minaj’s tweets, she is OUT”. Even their humor about rules and consequences—“i will not be filing my taxes for the 2024 tax year”—leans into calculated defiance rather than naive rebellion. While they clearly care about clients and relationships, the dominant pattern is cunning, ambition, and a protective, often ruthless sense of self, all of which align most strongly with Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
The chaotic, hyper-online energy and campy confidence of Vroom Vroom fits them perfectly. They openly stan Charli, posting things like “charli xcx looks so good here” and joking about her discography with “me at charli xcx cheating songs store”, which aligns with the song’s fast, bratty pop persona. Their life oscillates between corporate grind and messy fun, from “i was never a business crypto bro schizo but oooooo how i miss marketing” to “hungover and threw up on my favorite shirt. i did not survive WeHo halloween”, mirroring the song’s sense of reckless, stylish motion. They also embrace internet drama, paypigs, and dating chaos—e.g. “my og paypig came back to me and unblocked me ooooo we eatin good tn !!! findom IS BACK AGAINNN”—which resonates with the unapologetic, flex-heavy attitude of Vroom Vroom. Overall, the song’s mix of sleek pop, camp, and unbothered speed matches their online persona and Charli-centric tastes.

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mentaIlyiII
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