Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Witty: Consistently crafts clever jokes and wordplay, like the layered weekday gag in “happy mondays. ruby tuesdays. we wear pink on wednesdays wednesdays. thursdays. we gotta get down on friday fridays.”.
- Passionate: Shows strong enthusiasm for the Beatles and Oasis, repeatedly dissecting songs, videos, and band drama, as in “don't go away by oasis: a wonderful song… its goofy ass music video:”.
- Community‑oriented: Cares about mutuals and fandom bonds, mediating and building connections, like “i made two of my oomfs friends again” and wanting a group chat in “wait deadass... does anyone wanna make a gc just for this”.
- Self‑aware: Openly reflects on their behavior and image, e.g., joking about male manipulator taste in “i have such a male manipulator taste in music FUCK” and calling themself boomer in “im so boomer i dunno how to embed someone else video in a tweet”.
- Playful: Leans into lighthearted, imaginative scenarios—like imagining Liam having a burner in “hmmm i wonder if liam has a burner account on beatlestwt... like what if he's oomf?” and Beatles on VLive in “the concept of the beatles going on vlive…”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh: Can be very blunt and disparaging, as in “i hate singers who cant sing. like wtf are you doing stay on pitch!!” and the abrupt “What a bitch”.
- Attention‑seeking: Frequently focuses on engagement and visibility, e.g., stressing over hit tweets in “am i about to get my first hit tweet...” and pleading for follows in “nobody's following me tho... like please i promise ill try to make u laugh again 🙏”.
- Overposting: Recognizes tweeting excessively to the point of cluttering timelines, as admitted in “im so embarrassed. i refreshed my tl and i see my gazillion tweets cluttering the whole thing holy shit sorry oomfs”.
- Obsessive: Shows intense fixation on Liam’s online activity, monitoring his tweets and replies in posts like “i lowkey wanna know what liam's screentime is... like that man is ALWAYS lurking” and “my replies to liam are always in probable spam like PLEASEEEE LET ME IN TWITTERRR”.
- Self‑neglecting: Admits to unhealthy patterns (too much caffeine, app addiction) in “i drank too much caffeine my hands are shaking like crazy but my twitter productivity has increased by tenfold” and “im so addicted to twitter man. just closed the app and reopened it immediately”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Lauren reads as a very online, hyper-verbal, opinionated nerd about her chosen subjects (The Beatles, Oasis, Liam vs. Noel) in the same way Lisa is about jazz, books, and politics. She overanalyzes lyrics like in her 'flawed interpretation' of Champagne Supernova — “slowly walking down the hall faster than a canon ball = when u think ur moving through life slowly & life is familiar, but life's actually changing very rapidly...” — which is extremely Lisa-coded. She also has that mix of sincerity and snark: she’ll gush over music and performances like “getting emotional watching bad bunny's super bowl perf like it was so so so good and unifying and inspiring and fun...”, but also ruthlessly drag bad singers like “i hate singers who cant sing. like wtf are you doing stay on pitch!!”. Like Lisa, she’s self-aware about being terminally online and slightly dorky, joking about her Twitter addiction — “im so addicted to twitter man. just closed the app and reopened it immediately 😭” — and about having a 'male manipulator taste in music' (“i have such a male manipulator taste in music FUCK”). Overall, she’s smart, emotionally intense, niche-obsessed, and funny in a way that fits Lisa more than any other Simpsons character.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they constantly interact with others on the timeline, worry about cluttering oomfs’ feeds, and celebrate social dynamics, e.g. “the tl is so amazing right now, im getting my first hit tweet, my oomfs are falling in love, flowers are growing, sun is shining, life is great” and “i made two of my oomfs friends again”. Their humor is pattern‑based and imaginative rather than concrete, showing Intuition, like the metaphorical reading of lyrics in “my flawed interpretation: slowly walking down the hall faster than a canon ball = when u think ur moving through life slowly & life is familiar, but life's actually changing very rapidly...” and the playful conceptual mashups in “the concept of the beatles going on vlive…”. They come off as values‑driven and relational, signaling Feeling: they mediate drama and care about kindness, as in “on a more serious note: i like that both liam and noel were always kind to her… it's nice to see that they never did that” and get emotional over performances in “getting emotional watching bad bunny's super bowl perf… im a mess lmaooo 🥹”. Their life on Twitter is spontaneous and unstructured, reflecting Perceiving: they joke about impulsively reopening the app in “im so addicted to twitter man. just closed the app and reopened it immediately 😭”, switching allegiances on a whim in “liam won! thank u all for deciding on my behalf #liamgirl #noelgirleraisover”, and letting the timeline’s chaos guide them rather than any plan. Overall, the high‑energy social engagement, playful abstractions, emotional warmth, and flexible, in‑the‑moment style align best with ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said revolution 9 is why you seriously got into the Beatles — if your entry point is *that* unhinged, I feel like going on a date with you would be the perfect follow‑up experimental piece.
- You’re a #liamgirl who’ll become a City fan if he replies… how about we compromise: if you reply to this, I’ll become a merrycrimble fan and we can both pretend Liam’s lurking on our date.
- You clown bad singers for not staying on pitch, worship Liam’s hips, and analyze ‘slowly walking down the hall faster than a cannonball’ — I promise if we hang out I’ll bring strong vocals, good hip sway, and way too many song interpretations.
- You fixed your first hit tweet like ‘yay I did it 👵’ and then apologized for cluttering everyone’s tl — you’re literally the only person who could spam my timeline and make it feel like the sun is shining and flowers are growing again.
- Since you’re ‘sailing in a yellow submarine,’ obsessed with Lithuanian Justin Bieber and wondering if Liam’s an oomf burner, can I apply to be the Ringo of your gc: slightly chaotic, low‑key hot, and unreasonably devoted to your tweets?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
22. Accidentally went viral over Oasis jokes, stayed for Beatles discourse. Once refreshed my TL and only saw my own tweets—still recovering.– @merrycrimble
Your signature cocktail
Champagne Supernova Spritz
Bubbly Champagne stands in for their hyper, hit-tweet high when their timeline is popping off and caffeine has them tweeting nonstop, like in “i drank too much caffeine my hands are shaking like crazy but my twitter productivity has increased by tenfold so yayyy 🤪” and “the tl is so amazing right now, im getting my first hit tweet, my oomfs are falling in love, flowers are growing, sun is shining, life is great”. London dry gin nods to their Britpop/UK obsession and very specific Gallagher brainrot in tweets like “liam I know u see my tweets” and “liam and noel both need to wear their glasses more often”. Earl Grey tea syrup adds a classic, slightly nerdy twist befitting someone who can seriously interpret Oasis lyrics in “my flawed interpretation: slowly walking down the hall faster than a canon ball...” yet still stan the horn section in “the horn section in i am the walrus is soooo <3 <3 <3”. Bright lemon juice captures their sharp, occasionally savage humor, like when they say “i hate singers who cant sing. like wtf are you doing stay on pitch!!” or call a bad clapback “just embarrassing”. A dash of orange bitters reflects the tiny streak of bitterness at being ignored by the algorithm and Liam himself, as seen in “my replies to liam are always in probable spam like PLEASEEEE LET ME IN TWITTERRR” and “nobody's following me tho... like please i promise ill try to make u laugh again 🙏”.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Lauren is driven by wit, analysis, and playful overthinking, which are very Ravenclaw traits. She loves breaking things down, like when she gives a mock–literary interpretation of an Oasis lyric in “my flawed interpretation: slowly walking down the hall faster than a canon ball = when u think ur moving through life slowly & life is familiar, but life's actually changing very rapidly & the ppl who u once thought would always be there for u are now out of your life forever”. Her humor is wordy and referential rather than just chaotic, as in “smoking on that shit that made ringo see starrs” and “smoking on that shit that made liam gallag on his her”, which show a love of language play. She’s also intellectually curious about niche or structural things, like wondering about Liam’s behavior patterns in “i lowkey wanna know what liam's screentime is... like that man is ALWAYS lurking” and noticing platform mechanics in “fucking hate twitter... making all of us follow crypto accounts and then muting by default so we dont know unless we browse through our following”. While she is friendly and loyal to her online circle, as seen in “i made two of my oomfs friends again”, the dominant throughline is clever commentary, meta-observation, and turning music fandom into an intellectual and comedic game, which fits Ravenclaw best.
Your movie
Your song
Champagne Supernova - Oasis
The best-fitting song for @merrycrimble is “Champagne Supernova” because it captures both their Oasis obsession and their tendency to read emotional depth into Britpop lyrics. They literally quote it and unpack it with a pseudo-philosophical reading: “slowly walking down the hall faster than a canon ball = when u think ur moving through life slowly & life is familiar, but life's actually changing very rapidly...”, which shows how personally they connect to the song. Their self-aware ‘male manipulator music’ taste — “i have such a male manipulator taste in music FUCK” — fits perfectly with Champagne Supernova’s moody, introspective vibe. They’re clearly an Oasis girl at heart, from “all my beatles tweets popping off i lowkey need to lock in on my oasis related jokes” to celebrating “liam won! thank u all for deciding on my behalf #liamgirl”. The song’s hazy, nostalgic feel also matches their caffeine-fueled, extremely online personality, like when they say “i drank too much caffeine my hands are shaking like crazy but my twitter productivity has increased by tenfold”, living in that dreamy-but-chaotic headspace the track embodies.
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