midwestmalaise_
City:
Job:
In a relationship:
Best friend:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Musical Enthusiasm: Shows a deep appreciation for country and rock artists, specifically praising Unchained by David Allan Coe and Willie Nelson.
- Self-Awareness: Displays a degree of introspection by admitting his past "doomposting last night was so cringe" and apologizing for it.
- Animal Lover: Shows a softer side through his relationship with his pet, noting that his "cat ran up" to him when he couldn't sleep.
- Artistic Interest: Expresses a desire to be creative and supportive of others' work, noting that "living with your parents" is fine if you are making music or art.
- Honesty: Openly shares vulnerable details about his life, including his "terrible piss aim" and his complicated family dynamics.
Weaknesses:
- Deep Self-Loathing: Frequently engages in extreme self-deprecation, calling himself a "dysgenic freak" and "truly disgusting".
- Hateful Rhetoric: Expresses severe prejudice against women and minorities, stating "women really are like a sub species".
- Substance Abuse Issues: Repeatedly references dangerous behavior, such as being a "duster huffer" and wanting to "drink whiskey" constantly.
- Suicidal Ideation: Regularly posts alarming content about self-harm, including wanting to "die of a deadly terminal disease".
- Lack of Ambition: Admits to a total loss of drive, stating he wants to "sit in my room for the rest of my life" and give up on everything.
Your Simpsons character
Moe Szyslak
The user shares Moe's extreme self-loathing and fixation on his physical appearance, despairing over how “truly disgusting I am” and listing a litany of perceived flaws like “bad acne” and a “big nose”. Much like Moe’s constant cynical outlook, the user frequently engages in 'doomposting' and claims to “have any hope about literally anything sometimes”. Both figures harbor deep resentment toward others, with the user expressing hateful views such as “Women really are like a sub species”. Ultimately, they mirror Moe's isolated lifestyle and dark ideations, often tweeting about a desire to “sit in my room for the rest of my life”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ISFP
kansas groyper exhibits Introversion (I) through his focus on solitary, home-based activities and deep self-loathing, stating he wants to “sit in my room for the rest of my life”. His Sensing (S) trait is shown in his intense fixation on physical appearances and concrete bodily details, such as noting his “asymmetrical” nose and jaw. He operates primarily through Feeling (F), as his feed is dominated by raw emotional volatility and 'doomposting,' expressing deep personal despair with lines like “I wish my parents never met so they couldn’t have made some dysgenic freak like me”. Finally, his Perceiving (P) nature is evident in his lack of structure and procrastination, admitted by being “too lazy to watch” the final episodes of a show started over a year ago.
Some pickup lines for you
- If I sent you a kiss by wire, would you promise to stop doomposting and be my ragtime girl?
- Forget a hair transplant, you've already got enough 'aura' to make even the prime Hugh Grant jealous.
- I promise I’m not just suicidebaiting when I say I’d spend all my time annotating your favorite David Allan Coe lyrics on Genius with you.
- Are you the Breaking Bad finale? Because even though I’m lazy, you’re the one thing I’d actually finish watching.
- I know you want to drink whiskey on the porch like an old man, but how about we just go down to the Chattahoochee and play some random shit on our guitars instead?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Kansas-based musician and guitar enthusiast. When I’m not annotating song lyrics, I’m exploring classic country and dreaming of the perfect porch for whiskey.– @midwestmalaise_
Your signature cocktail
The Dysgenic Dust-Huffer
A drink for someone who admits “I’m being cucked right now wtf”, this cocktail is as bitter as their world view. The heavy base of “jack daniels, if you please” honors their love for outlaw country, while the tonic provides a fizzy, chemical kick for the self-proclaimed “duster huffer”. It captures the essence of someone who thinks “it’s getting rough out here” and spends their nights “doomposting every nigh” while wishing their “parents never met”. Serving this lukewarm reflects the stagnant energy of choosing to “sit in my room for the rest of my life”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
@midwestmalaise_ fits into Slytherin due to his extreme focus on status, lineage, and a self-preserved 'us vs. them' mentality, often expressing disdain for those he deems inferior. He displays a dark resourcefulness and pride in his specific subculture, stating “because we’re better” when comparing himself to others. His preoccupation with physical perfection and 'dysgenic' traits—seen when he laments, “I wish my parents never met so they couldn’t have made some dysgenic freak like me”—mirrors the house's historical obsession with blood purity and aesthetic superiority. Additionally, his blatant disregard for those outside his circle, such as claiming “Women really are like a sub species”, reflects the more exclusionary and ruthless tendencies often found in the dungeons of Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
The Way I Am - Eminem
The user exhibits an aggressive, self-loathing, and isolated persona that mirrors the frustration in Eminem's The Way I Am. They explicitly detail their insecurities, stating, "I turned off mirror front camera and took a picture and had a heart attack and finally realized how truly disgusting I am" and "I wish my parents never met so they couldn’t have made some dysgenic freak like me". Much like the song's defiance against social expectations, the user declares a desire to withdraw from the world, tweeting, "I give up on working out I just give up on everything I wanna sit in my room for the rest of my life". Their bio's 'Christ is King' and 'groyper' identity, paired with their volatile outbursts, creates a portrait of someone who feels besieged and misunderstood by society while doubling down on their own antisocial attitudes.
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