
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They read as a very online, mischievous, darkly funny chaos agent, which lines up most with Bart Simpson. Like Bart, they mix irreverent jokes and trolling with occasional flashes of sincerity, going from gleeful edginess in posts like “LMAOOOO CHARLIE KIRK GOT SHOT LOLOLL” and “what a shot too btw whoever got him really like that they needa keep going till they catch big bro” to genuine worry in “oh my god praying uva is okay i hope no one dies”. Their love of sports and trash talk fits Bart’s energy too, seen in tweets like “best game i’ve ever been to LETS GO HOOS UVA NATTY COMING” and “the fact the mahomes kelce connection is washed makes me so happy”. They also lean into juvenile humor and self-deprecation—“happy first day of the month! i haven’t showered since last year😂”—while still having sharp, politically aware takes like “this administration is a constant fuck you to the american people”. Overall, the mix of prankster attitude, boundary-pushing jokes, and occasional heart under the snark aligns most closely with Bart rather than the more earnest Lisa or the more apathetic Homer.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extraverted: their timeline is highly interactive and outward-facing, reacting to politics, sports, and music, hyping artists (“OMG XAVIER DROPPED”, “this ksuuvi album is incredible wow”) and sharing personal anecdotes about work, neighbors, and their girlfriend (“what it feels like to greet my neighbors as i walk my dog”, “i mentioned mahomes and my gf said ‘hitler?’ i’ve never felt so proud”). Their focus on big-picture narratives and patterns over raw data suggests Intuition: they connect events to systemic issues and conspiratorial or structural claims, like “this zohran shit really is so important for the future of the left he needs to succeed” and “I have proof that Israel killed Charlie Kirk to distract the mass media from it's warcrimes…”. They clearly prioritize values and emotional responses, pointing to Feeling: they frame politics in moral terms (“this administration is a constant fuck you to the american people”), express heartbreak and fear about violence and education (“i’m so heartbroken over this jayden daniels shit”, “there’s a genuine education crisis in this country and i’m terrified of its implications”), and defend art/samples on a value basis (“not sample snitching isnt gatekeeping its preserving art”). Their life appears spontaneous and flexible rather than structured, which is consistent with Perceiving: they joke about not showering and calling out of work last-minute (“shift was an hour earlier than i thought it was so instead of being late i called out but now i get to watch the niners game”), riff on random thoughts like naming conventions (“i wonder if the first person to think of the name semaj…”), and generally react in-the-moment to news and drops rather than planning. Altogether, the energetic engagement with people and culture, abstract pattern-spotting in politics, strong value-driven takes, and laid-back, improvisational lifestyle fit ENFP best.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Sports, politics & underground rap takes from VA. Once called out of work just to watch the Niners—still the best decision I ever made.– @miles_4444

Your signature cocktail
High-proof spiced rum represents how loud and unfiltered they are when politics and culture collide, like cheering on violence against right-wing figures while mocking hypocrisy in gun discourse “another school shooting after the “we don’t need gun control” guy got shot in the neck” and “LMAOOOO CHARLIE KIRK GOT SHOT LOLOLL”. Blood orange soda brings a bright, fizzy sports-fan chaos, echoing their #FTTB love and UVA hype in “NINERS WIN! #FTTB” and “best game i’ve ever been to LETS GO HOOS UVA NATTY COMING”. Cold brew coffee concentrate is for the late-night music brain and conspiratorial rabbit holes, like the ecstatic album stanning in “wow this new fakemink is incredible” and the wild Israel/Charlie Kirk theory in “I have proof that Israel killed Charlie Kirk to distract the mass media…”. Hibiscus syrup adds a sweet, queer, soft edge that matches their they/them bio and emotional honesty in posts like “at the end of the day all u rlly got is you” and “all anyone ever does is lie to me”. The smoked sea salt rim nods to the constant salt, dark humor, and slightly grimy running joke of not showering, as in “happy first day of the month! i haven’t showered since last year😂” and “i haven’t showered since last year”. Overall it’s strong, a little bitter, unexpectedly pretty, and absolutely built for live-tweeting a game while arguing about left politics and underground rap, just like them vibing to fakemink in “how it feels listening to this fakemink”.

Your Hogwarts House
Miles fits best in Gryffindor because of how loudly and fearlessly they state their beliefs, especially around politics and power. They show a strong willingness to confront powerful figures and institutions head-on, like when they say “I have proof that Israel killed Charlie Kirk to distract the mass media from it's warcrimes and to show Donald Trump and right wing public figures what happens when you speak out of line against the nation of Israel”, and openly mock Charlie Kirk’s shooting with tweets like “LMAOOOO CHARLIE KIRK GOT SHOT LOLOLL” and “that official death announcement gonna hit this website like crack in the 80s”. This is less calculated-ambitious (Slytherin) and more raw, reckless, and confrontational courage: they say the thing out loud, consequences be damned. They also consistently frame politics in moral, fight-the-good-fight terms, such as “this zohran shit really is so important for the future of the left he needs to succeed” and “it’s so sad what’s going on in schools rn there’s a genuine education crisis in this country and i’m terrified of its implications on the future”, which reads like a hero-complex concern for the broader world. Outside politics, their sports and music fandom is similarly intense and heart-on-sleeve—“i’m so heartbroken over this jayden daniels shit” and “best game i’ve ever been to LETS GO HOOS UVA NATTY COMING”—showing passionate, impulsive reactions rather than calm analysis or quiet loyalty. Put together, their outspoken moral urgency, emotional intensity, and willingness to pick public fights align most strongly with Gryffindor’s bold, confrontational courage.

Your movie

Your song
A great fit for them is Kendrick Lamar – Alright because it balances political awareness with a resilient, sometimes joking optimism. They frequently tweet about U.S. politics, Israel/Palestine, and fascism, like “trumps saying that ppl he’s arrested in dc were ‘born to be criminals’ insane that this purely racist and classist rhetoric is spewed daily by the president” and “this administration is a constant fuck you to the american people”, echoing the song’s critique of state violence and injustice. At the same time, they maintain a dark, irreverent sense of humor and survival attitude, seen in posts like “another school shooting after the ‘we don’t need gun control’ guy got shot in the neck” and “i haven’t showered since last year”, mirroring the track’s mix of pain and defiant hope. Their love for rap and modern artists (“i love young thug even if he’s stupid and fat now” and “havinmotion lowkey has dropped aoty 3 times this year”) also lines up with choosing a contemporary, culturally important hip‑hop anthem. Alright captures someone who sees how bad things are, jokes through the chaos, cares about justice, and still clings to the idea that, somehow, “we gon’ be alright.”

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miles_4444
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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