minarchistmonke
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green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Analytical: He repeatedly invokes data/diagrams with 'Consult the graph.' and posts theoretical threads like 'Capital contains all manifestations of technology...' showing a drive to analyze systems.
- Witty: Sharp one-liners such as 'Chronically online dipshit...' and 'Death Master File should be the name of a band' demonstrate quick, acidic humor.
- Intellectually curious: He cites diverse influences — Marxism, non-dualism, Eastern practice — writing 'The philosophy that has helped my thinking most is... non dualism' which shows breadth of curiosity.
- Self-aware: His bio openly admits 'I am always thirty+ minutes late', indicating he can laugh at himself and present flaws as part of his persona.
- Provocative: Frequent confrontational claims like 'Engineers are primarily good for making prole killing devices' show he’s willing to push buttons to provoke discussion.
Weaknesses:
- Belligerent tone: Frequent insults ('you a fed', 'Chronically online dipshit') risk alienating people rather than persuading them.
- Unreliability: His bio admits 'I am always thirty+ minutes late', which signals a pattern that affects commitments and interactions.
- Overgeneralizing: Claims like 'Adopters of Marxism display domestication syndrome' show a rush to broad, provocative generalizations that weaken nuance.
- Contrarian performativity: The constant trolling and posture (e.g., 'Fuck psychology') can appear performative and undermine sincere engagement with topics.
- Echo-chambering: Repetitive motifs like 'Consult the graph.' and in-jokes may limit reach to a narrow, like-minded audience.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Bart’s irreverence, trolling instinct, and ability to reduce complex social situations to mischievous gags echoes Monke’s feed: constant mockery, meme-laden barbs, and a persona that delights in provoking authority and peer groups. While Lisa is earnest and intellectual, Monke trades more in snark and performative disruption—Bart’s prankster-energy and antagonistic humor fit him best.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
Monke reads as INTP: he shows strong introverted thinking and idea-play (posting theory: 'Capital contains all manifestations of technology...', and speculative reasoning 'everything I don't feel like I understand fully is an orchestrated op'), intuitive preference for abstract systems (repeating 'Consult the graph.' and thought experiments like killing baby Hitler alt-hist), thinking over feeling in his blunt critiques ('Fuck psychology', 'Engineers are primarily good for making prole killing devices'), and perceiving openness to novelty and improvisation (playful rants, memes and self-aware chaos in his bio). These traits align with classic INTP curiosity, contrarianism, and theoretical tinkering.
Some pickup lines for you
- You can be thirty minutes late to my heart anytime—Monke, I’ll 'consult the graph' and the trendline points straight to us.
- If loving you is an orchestrated op, I volunteer as the conspirator — besides, I brought jungle music and philosophers for the afterparty.
- They say I’m '13/100 women kisser'—wanna help me retake the survey and make it 1/1?
- You rant about 'Consult the graph.' — great, because my heart’s data visualization is exclusively you vs. everyone else.
- I’ll forgive your chronic lateness if you promise to teach me non-dualism over ear-bleed jungle at 3am.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Monke | Contrarian meme-critic & amateur theorist — graphs, rants, and late arrivals. Philosophy, anti‑cult takes, rave nostalgia & eastern practice. Chronically 30+ mins late. Engage at your own risk.– @minarchistmonke
Your signature cocktail
Consult the Graph
This drink is bitter, jittery, and a little dangerous—like Monke’s feed. The espresso nods to rave energy ('jungle music at ear bleed inducing volumes' and 'take speed with philosophers'), dark rum gives it a raw, old-world bite that matches his alt-hist riffs, absinthe adds an uncanny, theoretical haze for philosophical late nights ('non dualism and eastern meditative practices'), and the charred rim is the snarky, burnt-edge humor he sprinkles in his memes ('Chronically online dipshit...').
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Monke’s feed centers on analysis, theory, and intellectual provocation—he repeatedly posts 'Consult the graph.' and philosophical reflections like 'The philosophy that has helped my thinking most is... non dualism', which signals a love of ideas and conceptual play. He prizes cleverness over brute force and delights in schematic thinking and critique, classic Ravenclaw territory. Though his tone can be mischievous, the primary driver is curiosity and conceptual clarity rather than pure ambition, which fits Ravenclaw better than Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones
That song’s ironic narrator and gleeful, provocative recounting of historical horrors pairs well with Monke’s relish for dark humor and historical-alt takes ('Me when I kill baby Hitler...' and 'The second World War was won by th ... AYO PEEP THE NUMBERS'). He often plays the provocateur who highlights grim realities with a smirk, much like the song’s narrator.
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