Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally expressive: Openly shares grief, stress, and joy, like mourning pets in “minha coelha morreu:(((((” and calling a night the “pior madrugada da minha vida”.
- Humorous: Uses dark and absurd humor, e.g. “se enforcar:💀 se enforcar:🤤” and joking about learning flute in tech school in “ironicamente aprendi a tocar flauta na etec”.
- Self-aware: Reflects on own behavior and tastes, like feeling “poser as vezes” and mapping gender/label changes in “2017: hétero… 2026: fodase rótulos”.
- Caring: Shows strong dedication to pets, traveling for care in “vou ter que ir no cu dos infernos… porque… não tem nem veterinário comum aberto” and updating about the chinchilla’s condition in “por incrível que pareça ela deu uma melhorada!”.
- Curious: Mentions many hobbies and interests—music, games, crafts—like listening to Elderwind while doing macramé in “ouçando elderwind enquanto faço macramê” and wanting more to listen to in “tenho tanta coisa pra escutar, pra mim nunca é o suficiente”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Expresses suicidal ideation in “quero me matar” and intense self-hate in “acabei de queimar minha cara me odeio namoral”.
- Risky behavior: Engages in potentially dangerous actions like “quase que eu coloquei fogo na minha cama porque eu esqueci um monte de vela acesa em cima dela” and drinking heavily in “sequei a garrafa de whisky de casa… vou me arrepender profundamente”.
- Negative self-image: Frequently criticizes self, like “não me suporto” and “não gostei de nenhuma foto minha é inevitável”.
- Volatile anger: Shows strong frustration and hostility, e.g. “vai toma no cu falei pro meu pai comprar alguma coisa…” and “é tudo puta é tudo puta é tudo puta”.
- Health neglect: Mentions struggling to eat properly in “não consigo comer direito” and feeling “nerfed” by health issues in “eu fui nerfada com 400 problemas de saúde”, suggesting difficulty managing wellbeing.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They most closely resemble Lisa Simpson: sharp, introspective, and emotionally intense, with niche interests and a streak of dark humor. Like Lisa obsessing over music and books, they fixate on media and learning, saying “tipo eu tenho tanta coisa pra escutar, pra mim nunca é o suficiente” and “ironicamente aprendi a tocar flauta na etec”. Their concern with health, diet, and correcting misinformation in threads like “'quer emagrecer? É só fechar a boca' é uma das maiores mentiras que eu já ouvi” echoes Lisa’s rational, slightly pedantic side. The way they openly process grief and anxiety about their pets in tweets such as “minha chinchila teve um aneurisma... isso é tão difícil porque tudo estava perfeitamente bem:(” and “minha coelha morreu:(((((” parallels Lisa’s deep empathy and tendency to feel everything intensely. Even their self-critical, alienated tone — “não me suporto” and “(possivelmente a única interação desse mês)” — fits Lisa’s sense of being out of place in her environment, just with a darker, more chaotic twist.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): they describe themselves as antisocial and low‑interaction, e.g. calling a quote tweet “(possibly the only interaction of this month)” and joking about a trait list that includes “•not socializing”, while focusing on solo games, crafts, and pets like “listening to Elderwind while I do macramé”. Their interests, aesthetics, and humor are more conceptual than concrete, pointing to Intuition (N): they talk about identity and labels “2017: straight… 2026: fuck labels”, make metaphorical jokes like “intellect of ass is dick”, and enjoy abstract/atmospheric media (Enigma, Elderwind) more than step‑by‑step practical talk, except when they deliberately explain concepts like calorie deficit “‘want to lose weight? just stop eating’ is one of the biggest lies I’ve heard”. Their decisions and reactions are very value‑ and emotion‑driven, suggesting Feeling (F): they grieve intensely over pets “my rabbit died :( … at least she spent these last times very happy”, express self‑hate “I don’t stand myself” and suicidal ideation “I want to kill myself”, and emphasize honesty in relationships “if I don’t like someone I prefer to distance myself and, if asked, I say the reasons directly”. They appear Perceiving (P) rather than structured: their life comes across as reactive and improvisational—burning through a whisky bottle “I finished the house’s whisky bottle, I’ll regret it deeply”, nearly setting the bed on fire by forgetting candles “I almost set my bed on fire because I forgot a bunch of candles lit on it”, and admitting their desk is “the filthiest on earth” “I have the filthiest desk on the face of the earth”. Overall, the combination of introspective, emotionally intense, value‑driven content, creative hobbies, and a disorganized, go‑with‑the‑flow lifestyle fits INFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You listening to Enigma and crying while playing Crash is so real of you… if you ever want a co-op partner who brings snacks when you tilt, I’m ready to wipe your tears and your save file.
- You said you learned flute at ETEC—so when are we forming a band? You on flute, me on emotional support, and we dedicate the first song to that poor Vono your dad brought when you were starving.
- Your ‘corrente do ódio’ was brutal, but I passed the test: I’m not neon, not pastel, not gospel, not nu metal, and I promise I’ll never make you watch Friends or Ready Player One. Can I at least be on the ‘things I don’t hate’ list?
- You burned your face, almost set your bed on fire with candles, and still somehow cooked chicken on a sandwich maker when the gas ran out—honestly, I don’t want a perfect life, I want THIS level of chaotic survival next to me.
- From chinchila aneurysm vigils to burying a whisky bottle and crying over your coelha, you love harder than most people live. If you ever need someone to sit through the worst madrugada of your life with you, I’ll bring a blanket, some fava beans, and a nice Chianti level of attention just for you.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Biology nerd with too many pets, too many games, and not enough gas for the stove. Learning, grieving, joking, and oversharing in equal measure.– @misslexotan9mg
Your signature cocktail
Liver & Nice Chianti Mood Swing Spritz
This cocktail starts with a base of dry red wine as a nod to their bio confession about gourmet cannibalism: “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti”, and also their many wine/whisky-fueled moments like “sequei a garrafa de whisky de casa puta que pariu vou me arrepender profundamente”. Coffee liqueur represents their chaotic late-night energy, from “pior madrugada da minha vida eu simplesmente tô imóvel faz 6 horas” to the existential crisis of “quero me matar”. A touch of burnt sugar syrup brings dark sweetness for their mix of tenderness and tragedy, like mourning their pets in “minha coelha morreu:(((((” and “minha chinchila teve um aneurisma...”. Sparkling water lightens the drink, symbolizing the playful chaos of “dbdzinho com os crias”, sardine obsession in “tenho obsessão por sardinha é isso aí”, and random crafts like “ouçando elderwind enquanto faço macramê”. Finally, a lemon twist adds a sharp, bitter edge for their savage humor and hatred list in “CORRENTE DO ÓDIO (coisas que odeio)”, plus the self-roast of “não me suporto”, making the whole drink a fizzy, depressive, darkly funny mess—just like their timeline.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
They show a strong analytical and knowledge‑oriented side, especially around topics like fitness and health, correcting common myths with detailed reasoning in threads like “você pode comer o que você quiser e continuar emagrecendo, desde que você esteja dentro do seu déficit calórico. Quando você simplesmente para de comer durante tempos prolongados o seu corpo entende que há uma escassez de nutrientes e reduz o gasto energético+” and “'quer emagrecer? É só fechar a boca' é uma das maiores mentiras que eu já ouvi”. They clearly love learning and media consumption, saying “tipo eu tenho tanta coisa pra escutar, pra mim nunca é o suficiente” and talking about games and music in an almost obsessive way, like “eu compro uns jogos e acabo não jogando” and “tô chorando com enigma pqp mano sou muito fã não tem como”. Their humor and phrasing also show a quirky, witty bent, for example in “pega aí no Github o békitipontojeison” and meta self‑comments like “eu não entendi minha própria explicação pqp”, which is very Ravenclaw‑coded self-awareness. While they have emotional intensity and some impulsiveness (which might hint at Gryffindor or Slytherin), their defining traits are intellectual curiosity, detailed explanations, niche interests, and a reflective, self-deprecating wit. Overall, the combination of love for obscure bands (“quando tu quer dar um presente de aniversário pra sua melhor amiga mas ela só gosta de banda que ninguém conhece”), deep fandoms, and analytical threads points most strongly to Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
Bury a Friend - Billie Eilish
A fitting song is Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish, which mixes dark humor, morbidity, and vulnerability in a way that mirrors their online persona. They casually flirt with death and self-destructive thoughts, as in “se enforcar:💀 se enforcar:🤤” and “quero me matar”, echoing the song’s eerie, self-sabotaging tone. Their bio, “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti”, and chaotic, sardonic posts like “eu fui nerfada com 400 problemas de saúde” and “pior madrugada da minha vida eu simplesmente tô imóvel faz 6 horas” fit the track’s horror-movie, sleep-paralysis vibe. At the same time, their emotional side shows through in grief and anxiety about their pets, like “minha coelha morreu:(((((” and “minha chinchila teve um aneurisma e ela tá tão mal que eu simplesmente perdi as esperanças”, reflecting the song’s underlying sadness beneath the creepiness. Overall, the mix of morbidity, sensitivity, and dark, offbeat humor in their tweets strongly aligns with the mood and themes of Bury a Friend.
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