Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Hardworking student: Talks about studying 8–12 hours for math tests and managing multiple AP/college classes while GPA-maxxing, like in “Spent 12 hours studying for a math test, only to get an 83.” and “I basically did 3 APs in one semester and got an A in all of them lfg!!”
- Self-aware humor: Often jokes about his own mistakes and quirks, e.g. “For the past 11 years… I have been saying ‘I pledge OF allegiance’ instead of ‘I pledge allegiance’” and “I got a 24% on a test on the book we were supposed to read 😹”
- Community oriented: Engages with online communities (Minecraft, ROBLOX, osu, Hypixel, linguistics), like celebrating his first Hypixel leaderboard in “First time on the Hypixel leaderboard!! Can't believe it :DDD” and wanting to submit to the speech accent archive in “Quoting so I can submit a sample here when I turn 18 next year!!”
- Curious observer: Shows interest in culture, history, and geography, like reflecting on Puerto Rican diversity in “In Puerto Rico, I’ve seen the blackest and whitest people ever. It’s truly diverse there” and recalling Swedish Christmas traditions in “we learned about what Swedes did during Christmas. We made a luciakrona”
- Emotionally expressive: Openly shares stress, excitement, and joy, such as being proud of AP Lang grades in “I have a 92 in AP Lang… got an A in all of them lfg!!” and stressing over grades in “My grade went from a 92 to an 87 in precalculus. I'm about to crashout”
Weaknesses:
- Academic perfectionism: Fixates on minor GPA drops and missed points, showing pressure on himself in “My grade went from a 92 to an 87 in precalculus. I'm about to crashout” and “Realizing that my 7 year streak of having all A's might be lost this semester lmao”
- Stressful self-talk: Uses extreme language about school stress, e.g. “Just spent a good 8 hours studying for this math test tomorrow.Ts made me so bored and I wanted to kill myself” which suggests unhealthy coping with pressure.
- Online dependency: Places strong emotional weight on online accounts and name sniping, like in the Minecraft hack saga “MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HACKED SINCE NOVEMBER 16TH 2025!!!” and celebrating sniping his old username in “Still hacked but I sniped my old user on an alt”
- Impulsive posting: Shares intense personal or sexual jokes publicly, e.g. “Hello very much 👋✨. My name is Hayden Anhedonia 👀, and today we're going to be rating my favorite types of gay porn” and “He was conceived by scissoring”, which could backfire socially or professionally.
- Angry reactions: Responds to annoyances with harsh language, such as “Say hi to 'x' or have a terrible [month]… No instead, please die 😭Y'ALL ARE INFESTING MY TL” and raging at WebAssign in “WEBASSIGN IS CRASHING. WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING> I HATE EVERYTHING”
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They most closely resemble Lisa Simpson: academically driven, introspective, and politically aware, but still very online and goofy. Like Lisa obsessing over grades, they stress about school performance and GPA-maxing, saying things like “Realizing that my 7 year streak of having all A's might be lost this semester lmao… It's whatever, a 3.98 unweighted won't affect me much tbh” and “My grade went from a 92 to an 87 in precalculus. I'm about to crashout 🥹🥹🥹 (I'm trying to GPAmaxx)”. They also show Lisa-like academic success, proudly sharing “I have a 92 in AP Lang… I basically did 3 APs in one semester and got an A in all of them lfg!!”. At the same time, they have a thoughtful, critical streak about media and institutions, as in “I hate that news accounts such as this post info (like this) as if it just happened” and their complaint about blue-check grifters: “I miss when the checkmark was gatekept to… actual known people and not these grifting weirdos”. Their queer identity and sensitivity to culture and language also echo Lisa’s progressive, curious side, shown in tweets like “This could be applied to all of LATAM tbh In Puerto Rico, I’ve seen the blackest and whitest people ever. 😭 It’s truly diverse there”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted (E) because they frequently share personal life moments, emotions, and inside jokes with their timeline, and clearly enjoy public interaction and attention, e.g. celebrating grades and finals in “I have a 92 in AP Lang. I basically did 3 APs in one semester and got an A in all of them lfg!! I’m also exempt from all my finals this semester.” and posting their first trick‑or‑treat experience in “Just trick or treated for the first time… 9.8/10 lol”. Their humor is playful and associative, jumping between cultural references, gaming, and politics in a quick, idea‑driven way, which fits iNtuitive (N) more than concrete Sensing, as seen in speculative, big‑picture takes like “Limited ROBLOX faces are going to tank like CSGO knives. I guarantee it bro 🧚♂️” and meta commentary on internet trends in “Same thing with newgen and oldgen. I swear I’ve been using those terms since ATLEAST 2019, and now it’s mainstream 😭”. Their reactions are strongly emotional and value‑laden, typical of Feeling (F): they vent about stress and unfairness (“Just spent a good 8 hours studying for this math test tomorrow. Ts made me so bored and I wanted to kill myself 🥹”), express concern for family (“My uncle just got taken by ICE wtf… Free my damn uncle 😭 he’s not illegal”), and show warmth toward cultures and people in “Thank god for Brazilians! (Such ethereal and satisfying music)”. Finally, they balance strong academic structure with an improvisational, last‑minute style, leaning Perceiving (P): they talk about GPA‑maxxing and NHS applications yet also embrace flexibility and shortcuts, as in “Academic tip If you KNOW that you are unable to do an assignment… TAKE THE LATE GRADE It’s better sleeping in and taking a 75% after submitting it rather than staying up till 2am” and casually skipping early periods in “Skipping class guys 👅 (I don’t have a first or second period loll)”. The combination of outward energy, idea‑driven commentary, emotional expressiveness, and flexible life approach fits ENFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- If limited ROBLOX faces are gonna tank like CSGO knives, can I just invest in yours instead? Pretty sure your smile has way better long‑term value than my entire inventory 🧚♂️
- You ratioed Charlie Kirk with ease… so, statistically speaking, what are the odds you’d let a fellow class of 2027 nerd take you out after AP Lang trauma bonding?
- You said you went from 315 to 220 on leg press—wild. If you ever need a spotter, I promise I’ll only let your grade in precalc drop, never you.
- You’ve been on Discord since 8, Twitter since 7, Hypixel leaderboards in 2025, and still grinding AP/college classes—this is me respectfully asking if I can speedrun ‘favorite person’ on your timeline next.
- You missed out on the U.S. going metric, but I’m down to measure our compatibility in more important units—like how many abandoned pools and first‑time trick‑or‑treats we can turn into weird little core memories together.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Class of 2027 ✏️ AP Lang survivor, BedWars enjoyer & accidental UNC fan. Once said ‘I pledge OF allegiance’ for 11 straight years.– @mitzklune
Your signature cocktail
The Voidborn GPAmaxxer Fizz
This cocktail is bright, chaotic, and low-key overachieving—just like someone who flexes a 4.3 GPA and still worries about an 83 in precalc while trying to #GPAmaxx (“Grade inflation is so fucking ass. I have a 4.3 something GPA, ranking 4th in my class of 2027.”, “My grade went from a 92 to an 87 in precalculus. I'm about to crashout 🥹🥹🥹 (I'm trying to GPAmaxx)”). White rum with a splash of coconut brings a warm, island-kid backbone for the Puerto Rican/Dominican roots and USA upbringing, tying into their love of Latin America’s diversity (“In Puerto Rico, I’ve seen the blackest and whitest people ever. 😭 It’s truly diverse there”). Passionfruit juice captures their dramatic, emotional, and thirsty-for-life posting style, from complaining about AP Lang and tests to horny jokes about the “grandote” and gay porn ratings (“How I felt for the entirety of AP Lang 😩”, “Why does the 'grandote' bring such intense sexual energy. Like wtf”, “Hello very much 👋✨. My name is Hayden Anhedonia 👀, and today we're going to be rating my favorite types of gay porn 🏳️🌈🍆💦✨”). Sparkling yuzu soda keeps it bright, experimental, and a bit weird—like someone who can spend 12 hours studying, min-max Hypixel Bedwars, and still joke about “Skibidi bedwars gooning sessions” (“Skibidi bedwars gooning session”, “First time on the Hypixel leaderboard!! Can't believe it :DDD”). Blue curaçao adds a deep void color and internet-core aesthetic for a user literally located in “void” and living on Twitter, Discord, and Minecraft since childhood (“Location: void”, “Started a Discord account at 8 years (early 2017) and made my first Twitter account at 7 years old (mid 2016) 😭”). Finally, edible glitter and a Pop-Tart sugar rim nod to their nostalgic meme-brain and snacky timeline—from Pop-Tart commercials to 2000s culture and abandoned pools, making the drink look like it was engineered to ratio Charlie Kirk in style (“I finally ratioed Charlie Kirk #rationingkirks”, “It's been like 7 years since I've seen these Pop Tart commercials. Where did they go?”, “ABANDONED POOLS IN 2026??? 🥹 🥹”).
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
They show a strong love of learning and academics, often reflecting analytically on school and performance. For example, they talk in detail about grades, GPAs, and exams, such as stressing over precalc and grade inflation in “Grade inflation is so fucking ass. I have a 4.3 something GPA, ranking 4th in my class of 2027. I took a practice SAT a few months ago and got an 1180 on it.” and describing intense study sessions like “Just spent a good 8 hours studying for this math test tomorrow.”. They also share academic strategies with others, as seen in “Academic tip If you KNOW that you are unable to do an assignment… TAKE THE LATE GRADE”, which shows a reflective, systems-thinking approach to school rather than pure grind. Their curiosity and interest in linguistics and global perspectives, like “hear thousands of english accents at the speech accent archive” and their nostalgia for “primary school globalism” in “we learned about what Swedes did during Christmas. We made a luciakrona”, further reinforces an intellectual, culturally curious mindset. Combined with their witty, slightly meta commentary on internet culture—such as predicting tweet theft in “inb4 a few months l8r, weird blue check accounts are going to steal this tweet… word for word”—this all points most strongly to Ravenclaw rather than the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
Teenage Dream - Katy Perry
A well‑known song that fits them is “Teenage Dream” because their timeline is very unapologetically about being a teenager, online, and a bit chaotic in a fun way. They constantly talk about school and grades while also not taking it too seriously, like when they said “I have a 92 in AP Lang. I basically did 3 APs in one semester and got an A in all of them lfg!!” and also joked about GPA and grade inflation in “I have a 4.3 something GPA, ranking 4th in my class of 2027.”. The song’s wide‑eyed, dramatic teen energy matches posts like “I am 17 teen years old now!!” and “I was in kindergarten 12 years ago! Get that shit right #classof2027 😭 🥹”. Their queer identity and playful openness about it, shown in their bio and in tweets like “Hello very much 👋✨. My name is Hayden Anhedonia 👀, and today we're going to be rating my favorite types of gay porn 🏳️🌈🍆💦✨”, line up with the song’s themes of youthful, romantic freedom and self‑expression. Overall, Teenage Dream captures the mix of intense feelings, humor, and queer teen life that runs through their posts.
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