
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Molly aligns with Lisa Simpson through her intellectual curiosity, deep interest in academic subjects like “etymology”, and her tendency to “talk too much about politics”. Like Lisa, she is frequently disillusioned by societal structures, questioning if “we don't have a society” and critiquing the media by noting how the “NYTimes quite a long time to figure out how to spin a story”. While Lisa is traditionally progressive, Molly mirrors her contrarian spirit and “know-it-all” nature by challenging mainstream narratives, specifically when she feels “lied to by feminism”. Ultimately, both share a sense of alienation and a constant search for truth in a world they find deeply flawed.

Your MBTI personality Type
Molly Myers exhibits Introversion through her focus on solitary intellectual research, stating her bio interests are ev psych, hist, anthro and reflecting, “I can't make myself believe in god”. Her Intuition is evident in her fascination with abstract connections, such as when she tweets, “TIL that the word Vatican is related to...Odin!” and questions the “difference between conquest and theft”. She displays a Thinking preference by prioritizing logical consistency over social harmony, bluntly critiquing “progressive policies” and comparing AI models like “Gab AI vs Grok” to find objective truth. Finally, her Perceiving nature is shown in her spontaneous, curiosity-driven feed where she asks “What kind of beetle is this” and shares random “fun facts” rather than following a rigid personal brand or schedule.

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Your new Twitter bio
NYC expat & mother of two with an etymology obsession. I once outran a wasp nest in a sundress, but I can't outrun my love for Lana Del Rey and spicy politics.– @mollistan

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail starts with a base of New England cider to represent her current home where she observes “what progressive policies did to a lovely New England town.” The heavy dose of bitters reflects her sharp political critiques and the “suffering [that] will continue apace” as she struggles with faith, while the Old World Vermouth nods to her fascination with history and finding “adorable pictures of my grandma from the 30's.” Finally, the smoked sea salt rim captures her dream to “get lost at sea in Florida” and her salty, anti-woke stance against the current status quo.

Your Hogwarts House
Molly consistently exhibits the Ravenclaw traits of deep intellectual curiosity and a love for etymology and evolutionary science. She shares niche facts like “the words menorah and minaret are related” and notes how she “♥️ etymology, especially when words you don't expect to be connected are.” Her analytical nature leads her to compare different sources of information, such as when she notes “Gab AI is brutal. Compare its response to my question to @grok's.” Ultimately, her primary engagement with the world is through the lens of a student and observer, frequently asking questions like “Which big accounts were outed as not being from where they claimed to be?” and diving into historical rabbit holes.

Your movie

Your song
As a self-proclaimed “Lana stan”, Molly's worldview is deeply rooted in a sense of cultural mourning and a desire for societal shift. This cover reflects her persistent search for truth across history and etymology, such as her interest in how “the words menorah and minaret are related”, paired with a deep cynicism toward modern politics. The song’s weary but hopeful tone matches her personal struggles with faith, having noted, “I want to believe so bad that god is testing me” while facing the difficulties of raising a family in what she perceives as a declining society. Ultimately, the track captures the melancholic traditionalism of a woman who “misses living in NYC so much” while navigating a world she feels has lost its way.

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mollistan
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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