Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Historical Literacy: He provides nuanced commentary on Norse maritime trade and the egalitarian nature of Anglo-Saxon society.
- Political Realism: He prioritizes political efficacy and notes that AOC remains influential despite leftist criticism.
- Physical Discipline: He maintains a workout routine and celebrates waking up at 5:30 AM as an achievement.
- Ideological Sincerity: He advocates for a communism rooted in love rather than misanthropy or depression.
- Humorous Self-Awareness: He admits to being insufferable and jokes about his interest in Norse culture.
Weaknesses:
- Aggressive Communication: He uses insults like "fat fuck" and "dumbass" when addressing others.
- Petty Antagonism: He admits to liking tweets purely out of hatred for the person being replied to.
- Familial Neglect: He jokes about not calling either of his grandmas as a form of "boomercide."
- Online Combativeness: He frequently tags users to instigate physical fights or perform "bicep checks".
- Snobbish Elitism: He expresses disdain for hicks and dismisses fan fiction writers as incapable of quality work.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
@Mountain_Twhick embodies the intellectualism, political fervor, and occasional smugness of Lisa Simpson. Much like Lisa, Shane is a self-identified leftist who frequently critiques society and history, notably when he argues that “The Anglo Saxon and Norse societies were incredibly egalitarian on gender issues by the standards of their day” or analyzes “how American politics is rapidly devolving on a bipartisan basis into calling your enemies pedophiles”. He possesses her trademark skepticism toward authority, seen in his commentary on “how he appears to be going all in on courting realtors and developers”. Despite his cynicism, he maintains Lisa's idealistic core, stating, “I need your communism to come from a place of love and a dream of a better world”. Ultimately, his blend of historical nerdiness, map-game obsession, and sharp-tongued social commentary makes him the Simpsons’ resident precocious activist.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
Shane exhibits Extroversion (E) through his constant digital social engagement, frequently tagging friends and commenting on public discourse, as seen when he asks, “.@JohnWakefieId aye yo bicep check 💪”. His Intuition (N) is evident in his interest in historical patterns and abstract societal critiques, such as his musings on “American politics is rapidly devolving on a bipartisan basis into calling your enemies pedophiles...”. He displays Thinking (T) by using blunt, sardonic logic to dismantle arguments, notably calling a specific political endorsement an “idiot test” and mocking “performative” actions. Finally, his Perceiving (P) trait shows in his spontaneous, irreverent humor and wide-ranging interests, from Norse history to AO3 fanfiction, often tweeting “love how it’s a total craps shoot wether or not you can view quote tweets” rather than following a rigid content schedule.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you an incredibly advanced 9th-century trade network? Because I’m trying to see if we can establish a route from the Islamic world to my North American heartland.
- Forget the French monks—I’ve got a regular bathing and grooming routine that would make even the most civilized Viking stop and stare.
- I promise I’m a much better investment than an Ouya, and unlike George R.R. Martin, I actually plan on finishing what I start.
- You said you're doing your part in the boomercide by not calling your grandma, but what are the chances you'd be willing to give me a call instead?
- I’m no Graham Platner, but I’d love to take you out on a date—unless you think endorsing a second date is just another 'idiot test'?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Colorado native and history buff exploring the intersection of modern politics and Norse trade routes. Likely at the gym or critiquing a 150k-word fanfic.– @Mountain_Twhick
Your signature cocktail
The Longship to Longmont
This drink blends Shane’s identity as a Colorado “mountain guy” with his deep obsession for history and map games, specifically his “lowkey into the Norse” phase. The Aquavit honors the “incredibly advanced shipbuilding” of the Vikings, while the bitters reflect his sharp political commentary on how “American politics is rapidly devolving”. Despite the heavy historical themes, the honey keeps it sweet, mirroring his desire for a communism that comes “from a place of love and a dream of a better world”. It is a strong, experimental pour for someone who enjoys the “persistent pain” of a good workout and a better argument.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Shane demonstrates a clear Ravenclaw affinity through his deep intellectual engagement with history and his analytical, often contrarian, approach to political discourse. He critiques historical narratives with wit, such as mocking a “Inbred French Monk Caked in Shit” for ignoring the complexities of Norse trade and shipbuilding. His love for learning and systemic thinking is evident when he describes American politics as “rapidly devolving on a bipartisan basis into calling your enemies pedophiles and rapists,” identifying the trend as a misdirected class issue. Even his gaming habits lean toward the scholarly, as he enjoys “Monarchy Sims” and “map games,” which require strategic thinking and historical knowledge. This consistent focus on nuance, historical accuracy, and intellectual critique over raw tribalism marks him as a true resident of the eagle's tower.
Your movie
Your song
History Has Its Eyes On You - Christopher Jackson & Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton
Shane's Twitter presence is defined by a deep, snarky obsession with historical patterns and the burden of leadership, frequently oscillating between modern political commentary and historical trivia. He provides biting takes on various eras, from the “Anglo Saxon and Norse societies” to the “filthy fucking Norse barbarians” and the American Revolution, much like the themes of legacy found in Hamilton. His interest in the weight of power is evident when he critiques monarchy simulations where “you are now the reigning monarch! Everything is fucked!”. This song perfectly captures his blend of historical awareness and the high-stakes anxiety he feels regarding current political figures like AOC or Keir Starmer. Ultimately, his feed suggests a man who views the world through the lens of a “mountain guy” who knows that every political blunder is just another chapter in a long, repetitive story.
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