Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Playful wit: Uses clever, offbeat jokes like “DROP that DAMN TOWEL, Kennedy! or MR GORBACHEV TEAR DOWN THOSE PANTS!” and “Millions Must Robert Townsend” to make history and fandom feel lively.
- Community‑oriented: Frequently references friends and shared projects, e.g. calling their group ‘JCR flat’ in “JCR Flat Austening our Land once more” and teaming up for cards in “guspercy cards (you get a fic and a drawing…) up for grabs right now!!”.
- Creative fandom: Creates art and edits like Parry expedition ornament chain in “Parry expedition ornament chain!” and dramatic mashups like “Parry and JCR as dramaslop tiktok scroll banger ‘WATERBOY’”.
- Enthusiastic nerdiness: Displays deep excitement for niche topics such as Arctic expeditions and Turn, e.g. “Turn is ruining my life” and “Everyone get really into the Mutiny that happened on the Bounty in 1789 as quickly as possible”.
- Self‑aware humor: Openly jokes about their own habits, like “4 people yellin at me for having the physical mannerisms of Jack Sparrow” and calling their skills “caveman level” in “I will attempt to make something with my caveman level skill and positive attitude”.
Weaknesses:
- Online overinvestment: Describes media and posting as life‑consuming, e.g. “Turn is ruining my life” and “turnpocalypse… my beautiful oomfs…”, suggesting intense emotional reliance on shows/fandom.
- Chaotic focus: Jumps rapidly between in‑jokes, ships, and projects (e.g. millions must jandré spam like “Millions must jandre” and multiple overlapping memes), which can make their interests feel scattered to outsiders.
- Insular references: Relies heavily on inside jokes and niche lore such as “Millions must Jandré” and “STAGEMANAGER BEECHEY MENTION‼️”, which may be confusing for new followers.
- Crude humor: Uses explicit or suggestive phrasing like “If I say th words ‘dobby pussy indulgence’ do you know what I mean” and sexualized jokes about historical figures, which can alienate some audiences.
- Platform frustration: Expresses irritation with the app in posts like “this stupid app hasn’t been showing me like 1/2 of the comments I’ve been getting” and “My for you is looking horrendously bad again… the result of this is that I simply have used Twitter much less”, hinting at stress tied to engagement and visibility.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user most closely matches Lisa Simpson: nerdy, hyper-specific about her interests, and genuinely enthusiastic about niche history and culture. Like Lisa with jazz and obscure causes, they deep-dive into Arctic exploration and historical guys with a mix of sincerity and irony, e.g. calling Parry’s crew “all the clowns on his expeditions” in their pinned tweet: “I’m an archaeologist… I am also an enjoyer of William Edward Parry, and all the clowns on his expeditions. I make serious drawings👍”. Their posts blend earnest analysis with memes, as when they say “Turn has got to be the most ‘we can just introduce some unbelievable bullshit into this plot’ show I’ve ever seen. High compliment”, which is very Lisa-coded media commentary. The way they turn historical minutiae into fandom bits—like “3 beautiful spreads you can find in Pierre Berton’s ‘The Arctic Grail’ (1988)!!” and their elaborate “Millions must Jandré” running joke—fits Lisa’s tendency to over-intellectualize fun and turn passions into campaigns. They also show a strong moral/relational core under the shitposting, evident in affectionate group-fandom stuff like “JCR flat is about to launch a coordinated strike on the Benjamin Tallmadge ao3 tag”, which echoes Lisa’s mix of idealism, friendship, and dorky organization.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They read as more Extraverted than introverted: they’re constantly interacting with friends, in shared watch parties and group bits (e.g. the JCR flat, Percy, Ellie, Maggie), and openly narrating social chaos like “JCR flat is about to launch a coordinated strike on the Benjamin Tallmadge ao3 tag” and “Not even 24 full hours living at JCR flat and we hav already subjected Maggie to 4 episodes of Turn”. Their enthusiasm is highly Intuitive and concept‑driven: they fixate on patterns, meta-jokes, and reinterpretations (e.g. spinning an 1820s Arctic newspaper into a modern fandom project in “see @parryexpedition for this exact scenario starting New Year’s Day 2026”, and turning tabloid covers into “arctic council shenanigans” in “I’m turning tabloid covers into arctic council shenanigans”). Their tone emphasizes feelings, relationships, and hype over cold logic, which points to Feeling: they gush about characters and friends, like “He loved his wife soooo much” or crowd-mood lines like “Must a show be ‘good’? Is it not enough to watch your friends get tricked by Benedict Arnold hype moment and aura?”. Finally, their life appears spontaneous and play-oriented rather than structured, suggesting Perceiving: they dive into ongoing bits, memes, and new projects (e.g. impulsively baking “the ugliest loaf of bread” in “they’re calling it the ugliest loaf of bread ever baked. but my god, was it baked” and declaring a “turnpocalypse” in “turnpocalypse… my beautiful oomfs…”) rather than talking about schedules or strict plans. Taken together—gregarious fandom socializing (E), heavy abstraction and remixing (N), emotional/fandom hype (F), and improvisational chaos energy (P)—they best fit ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- So, if I say ‘millions must Jandré’ with all my heart, do I open a book to a portrait of a pretty lady and find you there, or do I have to turn on Turn: Washington’s Spies and catch you in the Beaufort Proximity Zone first?
- You’re an archaeologist in Glasgow obsessed with Parry’s clowns and the Bounty mutiny—are you sure you’re not just conducting a long‑term study on why I’d gladly overwinter in a lockdown cabin with you and a stack of Arctic Grail spreads?
- You keep warning people about the Beaufort Proximity Circle on that airplane seat meme, but honestly if sitting next to Francis means I’m also sitting next to the guy who coined ‘millions must Jandré,’ I’m booking seat 7 immediately.
- You’re out here turning tabloid covers into Arctic council shenanigans, running the @parryexpedition paper like Sabine with turbo chops, and sketching JCR catboys—at this point I’m less ‘no bitches?’ and more ‘how do I subscribe to the Gus Incorporated romantic newsletter?’
- You said if we say ‘millions must Jandré’ and really believe it, He will Be There; I’ve been saying ‘millions must Gus’ over and over and so far all that’s appeared is an urge to watch Turn and ask you to show me your serious drawings 👍 in person.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Archaeologist in Glasgow, specialising in polar history, bad boats and worse men. Once made a mutiny meme that got cited in a seminar.– @MrBoatman1845
Your signature cocktail
Millions Must Jandré Martini
The Millions Must Jandré Martini is strong, chaotic, and oddly romantic—just like someone who posts “Millions must Jandré” 500 times and means it every single time. A peaty Islay Scotch stands in for Gus the archaeologist 🪨⛏️, living “in da caves” and obsessing over Arctic expeditions while turning tabloid covers into “arctic council shenanigans”. Drambuie/honey liqueur adds the unexpectedly tender sweetness you see in posts like “WEP fact of the day: ‘Such a sailor, and yet such a lady’ He loved his wife soooo much”, because behind the bit is a sincere little heart. Cold brew brings the manic late‑night fandom and academic grind energy that powers things like “Turn is ruining my life” and the ongoing Turn: Washington’s Spies spiral. A dash of absinthe nods to the experimental, slightly cursed vibes of lines such as “The mpreg ai slop is back again, but this time it’s clowns” and “If I say th words ‘dobby pussy indulgence’ do you know what I mean”. Finally, the scorched orange twist is for drama and flourish—the same theatrical flair that dreams up things like “DROP that DAMN TOWEL, Kennedy! or MR GORBACHEV TEAR DOWN THOSE PANTS!” and the whole “serious drawings👍” persona in their pinned intro.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
This account reads overwhelmingly as Ravenclaw: highly niche intellectual interests, playful analysis, and a constant drive to turn information into creative projects. They are literally an archaeologist and self-describe as “an enjoyer of William Edward Parry, and all the clowns on his expeditions” while talking about how they “make serious drawings👍” in their pinned tweet, showing a love of learning and a tendency to process knowledge through art and humour: “👉Pinned👈 I’m an archaeologist… I am also an enjoyer of William Edward Parry… I make serious drawings👍”. They dissect historical narratives and media with amused, almost essayistic commentary, like when they praise Turn precisely for its absurd plotting: “Turn has got to be the most ‘we can just introduce some unbelievable bullshit into this plot’ show I’ve ever seen. High compliment”, and when they give a mini-historiographical note on overwintering by comparing it to COVID lockdown to explain people’s behaviour: “Parry 1 shenanigans can be easily explained when u realise that overwintering… was lowkey like Covid lockdown… everyone was getting into some bullshit…………”. Their curiosity is meticulous: they highlight specific spreads in a history book and evaluate parts of its scholarship rather than just vibing with the aesthetic: “3 beautiful spreads you can find in Pierre Berton’s ‘The Arctic Grail’ (1988)!! I don’t have the expertise to judge the whole book, but the section about Parry and a later discussion of Parry’s involvement with the Franklin Expedition are both excellent”. Even their fandom and meme habits are structured and quasi-analytical—setting up recurring polls about bad pen names in an expedition newspaper shows a delight in categorising and judging textual minutiae: “Every time a new issue drops I’m going to make a poll and we can all decide together who had the shittiest pen name in the last one”. While there’s warmth and community (a Hufflepuff-adjacent trait) in projects like guspercy New Year’s cards and collaborative flat shenanigans, the throughline is a brainy, reference-rich, witty engagement with history and media, which fits Ravenclaw far better than the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
We Didn’t Start the Fire - Billy Joel
A song built from rapid-fire historical references and chaotic vibes suits an archaeologist who lives in a whirlwind of niche history, fandom, and memes. Their timeline is stuffed with hyper-specific historical and literary fixations—American Revolution spy drama, polar expeditions, naval mutinies, and more—like “Everyone get really into the Mutiny that happened on the Bounty in 1789 as quickly as possible” and “Napoleonic Wars: John Ross side plot:”. They jump from Arctic expeditions to TV dramas with the same manic enthusiasm, e.g. “Turn is ruining my life” and “If you turn on Turn: Washington’s Spies, you can look at John André for free”. The running ‘Millions must…’ bit—like “Millions must Jandré”—matches the song’s relentless, incantatory listing energy. Even their pinned self-intro, “I’m an archaeologist and an enjoyer of buildings. I am also an enjoyer of William Edward Parry, and all the clowns on his expeditions”, feels like a modern, deeply online version of Joel’s cataloguing of people and events. Overall, the song’s blend of history-obsession, humor, and breathless pacing mirrors the way they tweet and the nerdy fervor of their interests.
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