
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They most closely resemble Lisa Simpson: intelligent, self-aware, academically focused, but struggling with intense internal pressure and feeling misunderstood by family. Like Lisa with school, they’re very invested in uni and feel crushed when mental health and ED behaviors interfere, as seen in “so focused on my ed shit i forgot to email smth to my professor before the deadline… tomorrow is gonna be fun”. Their complicated relationship with their parents, especially their dad, echoes Lisa’s feelings of alienation: “i despise that i was born female… maybe if i was male my dad wouldn’t hate me” and “i hate my dad but by god he's good at suppressing my appetite”. Lisa often channels pain into high standards and self-criticism, similar to their fixation on weight and self-worth, e.g. “going into another year fat.. but i wont be coming out if it fat”. Despite the darkness (suicidal ideation and self-harm content like “killing myself i fear”), there’s also a reflective, emotionally articulate side and genuine care for online community, which fits Lisa more than the other main characters.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as introverted (I): their world is mostly online and internal, with few mentions of IRL socialising and many solitary, inward-focused comments like “so focused on my ed shit i forgot to email smth to my professor before the deadline…” and “man i wish i had an irl ed friend :(”, which suggests social longing but low actual engagement. Their thinking style leans intuitive (N): they frequently generalise and interpret emotionally (e.g. “i swear all dads hate their daughters.. like it’s innate to them”) rather than sticking only to neutral, concrete description, and they frame experiences in terms of meaning and identity (gender, family dynamics, self-worth). They are clearly feeling (F)-oriented, processing everything through emotion and relationships: “i feel like such a failure rn”, “i despise that i was born female… maybe if i was male my dad wouldn’t hate me”, and their self-talk is about shame, hurt, and being loved or hated, not about detached logic. Finally, they skew perceiving (P): although they try to set rules and limits (e.g. calorie goals, accountability threads), they repeatedly describe slipping, forgetting, or changing plans (“i’m just gonna restart my accountability from today cos i didn’t count while i was losing my mind over assignments lol”; “okay maybe i should stop letting my mum convince me to do thing i don’t wanna do… kinda over my 600cal limit 😭”), showing more flexible, reactive behaviour than rigid structure. Taken together—intense inner emotional life, idealised visions of a future thinner self, self-critical reflections, and loose but persistent attempts at structure—INFP is the closest MBTI fit.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
22 • they/them • uni life, assignments & late-night walks. Once decorated a pill box instead of my essay. Learning balance, one day at a time.– @muscleymuseums

Your signature cocktail
The vodka infused with black tea brings a strong, jittery energy, mirroring their restless focus on restricting and control, like “i need to restricttttt” and “at this point i’m just gonna stop trying to eat meals”. Low-sugar cherry soda is fizzy but restrained, echoing their attempts to have a social, bubbly uni life while counting every calorie, as in “uni using pizza as a method to get people to fill in a student survey lol” and their “assignment pits” comeback “hi i’m back from assignment pits to announce i overate.. again”. The lemon peel twist adds a sharp, sour note that nods to their dark humour and biting self‑deprecation, seen in “how many job rejections can i take before i kill myself stay tuned” and “i feel like such a freak i need to stop eating so much”. A dash of saline solution represents tears, sweat, and the ocean of family tension that suppresses appetite, like “i hate my dad but by god he's good at suppressing my appetite” and “mothers being competitive with me again…. stop telling me u purged”. Finally, edible silver glitter floats on top like tiny victories—new tattoos showing, pill boxes decorated, and weight milestones—as celebrated in “just noticed a sign of my weight loss.. i never used to be able to see a tattoo on the other side of my arm and boom there it is” and “so close to double digits aaaaa it’s happening”. This cocktail is strong, a little bitter, and quietly glamorous—much like someone who says “everything’s cool as long as i’m getting thinner” while still wishing their oomfies a genuine “happy new year… lets make it a good one! <33”.

Your Hogwarts House
Their defining traits are intense ambition, self-preservation, and a willingness to reshape their life around a singular goal—losing weight—regardless of cost. They frame the coming year as a transformation arc with a stark, driven edge, saying they are “going into another year fat.. but i wont be coming out if it fat” and that they’ll be “half if not more my size next christmas.. no more fat christmases” in another tweet (link), which reflects long-term, ruthless determination typical of Slytherin. They constantly strategize around food, exercise, and social situations—like using a friend’s invite so they “don’t have to eat the biggest waste of calories”, or deciding to “eat lower than my usual and walk more in the lead up to xmas so hopefully i can offset whatever i eat” (link)—showing tactical, resourceful thinking. Even everyday tools become part of this calculated system; they meticulously track weight fluctuations (“i’ve been fluctuating for 5 days when does it end i beg”) and adapt their behavior quickly, like deciding “ok so today will be a metab day” (link). While there are hints of loyalty and warmth toward mutuals, the clearest throughline is a Slytherin style of obsessive goal-orientation and survival in a hostile-feeling environment, especially around their family and university pressures.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song is Bury a friend by Billie Eilish, because its themes of self‑destruction, intrusive thoughts, and feeling like a monster in your own body mirror their timeline. They openly talk about suicidal thoughts, like “killing myself i fear” and “how many job rejections can i take before i kill myself stay tuned”, which aligns with the song’s fixation on death and disappearance. The way they tie worth to self-harm and bruises, saying “my bruises are so prettyyyy im so much more satisfied by them than cuts”, echoes the track’s unsettling fascination with pain. Their eating disorder mindset—“everything’s cool as long as i’m getting thinner” and “i feel like such a freak i need to stop eating so much”—parallels the song’s feeling of being inhuman or monstrous. Finally, the tense, anxious relationship with their parents, as in “i hate my dad but by god he's good at suppressing my appetite” and “mothers being competitive with me again…. stop telling me u purged”, reinforces the song’s atmosphere of dread and being trapped with your demons.

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