Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Playful humor: Frequent jokes and wordplay, like the stand-up idea in “eu queria ser o pioneiro num novo gênero de stand up onde eu vou lá no palco e deixo toda a plateia constrangida” and the bus/lactose pun in “levanta a mão e faz o L 👆 L de lactose 🐊”, show a light, comedic style.
- Self-awareness: Acknowledges own flaws and awkwardness, e.g. “'aii eu acho horrível quem derruba um copao cheio de água no chão da academia sem querer' eu sendo horroroso 🙄” and “devagarzinho perdendo vergonha de postar coisa no MEU Instagram mDs”.
- Curious teacher: Shows interest in teaching and learning, like enjoying 6th graders in “pprt eu não esperava q fosse curtir TANTO dar aula pra 6º ano omG” and mentioning giving calculus classes in “vou pro trabalho quieto dou aulinha de integral e derivada”.
- Fitness-minded: Consistent focus on training and progress, e.g. leg goals in “decidi q tá na hora de ficar coxudo pernudo & bundudo vou treina perna 2x na semana direitinho” and tracking lifts in “hj conseguy faze 40kg em cada lado no desenvolvimento de ombros foram 12 reps suadas”.
- Affectionate foodie: Expresses joy through food moments, like “pqp hj teve maminha assada no almoço apenas curou todas as feridas”, “almoço árabe na εscοla hj mDs”, and simple cravings in “hj eu queria comer um pão com salame”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh language: Uses aggressive insults toward others, like “a pessoa mais insuportável do site fazendo o tweet mais burro como sempre” and “baranga msm pqp”.
- Public negativity: Openly celebrates hating or being a hater, as in “day ruined eh o caralho hj eu serei um hater e serei muito bom nisso” and mocking bands in “parabéns aí pra banda jονem diοnisiο pelo álbum flopado 👏👏👏”.
- Impulsive spending: Mentions unplanned or exaggerated purchases, like “dia 9 já gastei 900 reais que não tava planejando tnc” and joking about buying a PS5 for Mother’s Day in “pensando em comprar um ps5 de presente pro dia das mães”.
- Self-deprecation: Frequently puts self down, e.g. “eu sendo horroroso 🤡” and “baranga msm pqp” used on self-image in a mocking way.
- Provocative tone: Leans into edgy or inflammatory jokes, such as the Kart joke in “replace the 'K' in 'Kart' for 'F* relax liberal it's called humor” and the plan to create a stand-up style that only makes the audience uncomfortable in “eu queria ser o pioneiro num novo gênero de stand up onde eu vou lá no palco e deixo toda a plateia constrangida”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Like Bart, @naokolb is a chaotic prankster who thrives on "replace the 'K' in 'Kart' for 'F* relax liberal it's called humor" and enjoys putting people in awkward positions, even dreaming of a “new genre of stand up where I go on stage and leave the entire audience embarrassed”. He shares Bart's irreverent attitude toward authority and social norms, frequently acting as a "hater" or calling out people he finds “insufferable”. Despite the mischief, he shows a more earnest side through his job, admitting “I didn't expect that I would enjoy teaching 6th grade SO MUCH”, mirroring Bart's occasional moments of genuine heart and unexpected competence. His obsession with his physical appearance and gym progress, like doing “40kg on each side in shoulder press”, captures the same boyish bravado Bart displays when trying to act tough or cool.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
Naokolb demonstrates Extroversion through a constant desire for social engagement and public interaction, such as asking “gente q horas q vcs chegam na fila do starbucks hoje?” and his enjoyment of teaching. His Intuition is evident in his self-described “big mind” and his appreciation for complex media like Beastars and JoJo, showing a preference for creative narratives over purely practical data. He leans toward Feeling by prioritizing personal expression and humor, often sharing emotional states like being “ansioso pelo sábado de manhã” or his love for his own name. Finally, his Perceiving nature is clear from his spontaneous decision-making, such as when he admits he “já gastei 900 reais que não tava planejando” or his disorganized musings about starting new hobbies like Muay Thai or a car shop based on funny license plates.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you the new terminal at Campina do Siqueira? Because I've been waiting for a 'vermelhão' like you to finally arrive and make my day.
- I may not be the pioneer of cringey stand-up, but I’d let you leave me speechless on stage any night.
- I promise I’m way better than hard-boiled egg yolks—I’m a total angel, and I’ve even got the wings to prove it.
- Forget the gym—you don't need to train your triceps to sweep me off my feet, though I wouldn't mind seeing those 40kg shoulder presses in person.
- Is your name Alexa? Because I’m not asking for the augmentative of 'Dacueba,' I’m just asking for your number.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Math & Calculus teacher by day, gym rat by night. From teaching 6th graders to hitting 40kg shoulder presses, I’m Curitiba’s #1 hater of lumpy egg yolks.– @naokolb
Your signature cocktail
The Sítio Cercado Powerhouse
This drink captures the chaotic yet disciplined lifestyle of a Curitiba local who balances being a math teacher with his obsession for the gym. The high caffeine and heat reflect his intense workouts, like when he achieved “40kg em cada lado no desenvolvimento de ombros”, while the Arabic syrup nods to his “almoço árabe na εscοla”. The spicy kick represents his sharp hater energy, specifically toward “banda jονem diοnisiο pelo álbum flopado”. Finally, it’s served over ice made from filter water because he knows “a sensação de tomar água da pia” is strictly for when you're desperate. It’s a bold, experimental mix for someone who claims to be the “POLO intelectual, cultural, científico, social e comportamental da cidade”.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Naokolb embodies Gryffindor's classic blend of impulsiveness, bold confidence, and a desire to be at the center of the action. He demonstrates bravery in the gym, pushing physical limits by doing “40kg em cada lado no desenvolvimento de ombros”, and displays the house's signature nerve by admitting he wants to “deixar toda a plateia constrangida” in a new genre of stand-up. His tweets often carry a defiant, hero-adjacent energy, such as when he declares that “hj eu serei um hater e serei muito bom nisso” or mocks social norms with a “relax liberal it's called humor” attitude. Ultimately, his loud Curitibano pride and willingness to post “coisa no MEU Instagram” despite his nerves show the heart of a Lion finding its roar.
Your movie
Your song
Self Esteem - The Offspring
This song perfectly captures the user's self-deprecating humor and his constant shifts between high confidence and social awkwardness. He openly jokes about his physical appearance and gym progress, tweeting “hoje eu meio q não sei se tou inchado ou gigante ou inchado & gigante”, while also embracing a persona he calls “a pessoa mais insuportável do site”. His focus on fitness, specifically being “coxudo pernudo & bundudo”, aligns with the high-energy, youth-centric vibe of the track. Ultimately, the lyrics reflect someone who is “devagarzinho perdendo vergonha de postar coisa” while navigating the daily chaos of work, public transport, and the gym.
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