
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Milhouse Van Houten is the best match because he is the perpetual underdog and nerd who constantly feels ignored and unloved, similar to the user's feelings of being abandoned: "i try to be a good friend yet i’m ignored, aired, neglected... am i ugly? am i boring? am i too much?" The user also repeatedly expresses suicidal thoughts and self‑hate, as in "im no one’s favorite and i really really REALLY need to kill myself", echoing Milhouse's frequent cries of "Everything's great!" while actually being miserable. Their self‑identification as a nerd being bullied by jocks ("you are LITERALLY the nerd hanging out with the jocks... they HATE you") mirrors Milhouse's status as the class nerd who is often the target of Bart's teasing. The user's desperate need for validation and constant mental‑health struggles ("i’m in a poly relationship with all the other voices in my head") reflect Milhouse's insecure, anxious personality that seeks acceptance from his peers. Overall, the combination of chronic insecurity, feeling like an outsider, and dramatic emotional outbursts aligns closely with Milhouse.

Your MBTI personality Type
They show an introverted focus on their inner world, as seen in 'i’m in a poly relationship with all the other voices in my head' and the constant self‑reflection in 'i’m mentally ill but im hot so who cares'. Their thinking is abstract and future‑oriented, typical of intuition, exemplified by 'there’s nothing sexier in this universe …' and 'i’ve learned to stand up for myself, root out fake or toxic ppl, and establish boundaries'. Decision‑making is driven by personal values and feelings, evident in 'im unlovable and horrible and a piece of shit and i need to die already' and 'i’m obsessed with female validation to make up for the love my father never gave me'. They prefer a flexible, spontaneous lifestyle rather than structured planning, as shown by the impulsive venting in 'i’m tired of the lies… JUST TALK TO ME!!!' and the chaotic wish to 'beat up oomf and throw beer cans at their big stupid head'. These traits align best with the INFP type.

Some pickup lines for you

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Your new Twitter bio
Gamer & anime fan, writing about mental health. Once tried summoning a corn deity in the snack aisle. Here for memes, art & real talk.– @neetshmeat

Your signature cocktail
The Neet's Neon Nightmare is a dark, bitter cocktail that mirrors the user's turbulent emotions. Black vodka and coffee liqueur give it a heavy, night‑time depth, while grenadine adds a blood‑red hue of longing, and a dash of hot sauce adds the fiery rage from "i’m tired of the lies, the lame excuses, the prolonged silence. JUST TALK TO ME!!!". A sprinkle of edible silver glitter reflects fleeting moments of self‑affirmation like "i am normal again ^—^". This drink captures the chaotic voice of @neetshmeat, from "i’m in a poly relationship with all the other voices in my head" to "i love gambling", making each sip a burst of conflicted emotion.

Your Hogwarts House
They repeatedly seek personal advantage and attention, as seen in "reply if you give a fuck about me :3" and "i think i give up on love. instead i’ll just focus on loving myself cuz no one else is gonna do it ^_^". Their willingness to be ruthless and aggressive is evident in "i wanna freaking yell and beat up oomf and throw beer cans at their big stupid head" and "it’s okay to be evil and cruel as long as you’re pretty". They show a pragmatic, self‑preserving mindset by learning to cut out toxic people: "i’ve learned to stand up for myself, root out fake or toxic ppl, and establish boundaries". Their desire for control and manipulation appears in statements like "plz be nice to me 🖤 im fragile" and "i’m a cute badass waifu 😼 yea im just awesome like that". These traits—ambition, resourcefulness, and a willingness to use any means to secure their own well‑being—align closely with Slytherin values.

Your movie

Your song
The song 'Hurt' captures the raw pain and self‑destructive thoughts that dominate neetshmeat’s timeline. Lines like 'I hurt myself today / To see if I still feel' echo tweets such as 'im unlovable and horrible and a piece of shit and i need to die already' and 'no one wants to hang out with me so i’ll just hang myself instead'. The chorus’s confession of being a broken person mirrors the user’s admission 'im no one’s favorite and i really really REALLY need to kill myself'. The stark, stripped‑down tone aligns with the feeling of 'rotting away in hell' and the claim 'im mentally ill but im hot so who cares'. Both the lyrics and the overall mood of 'Hurt' reflect the hopelessness and yearning for acknowledgement that dominate the user’s tweets.

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neetshmeat
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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