Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Direct: He is very direct in his communication, as seen in his tweet 'Lawyers that don't answer my questions directly and unambiguously get sent to Gulag [picture]'.
- Sarcastic: He uses sarcasm often, as seen in his tweet '“We’re not in the business of predicting interest rates” predicts interest rates in the next sentence [picture]'.
- Opinionated: He is not afraid to express his opinions, even if they are controversial, as seen in his tweet 'If you smoke weed in public you should be killed [picture]'.
- Cynical: He has a cynical view of the world, as seen in his tweet 'Annual condolences to leafs fans You'll get em next year guys (you won't) [picture]'.
- Humorous: He uses humor to deal with the stress of his work, as seen in his tweet 'Screaming “NO” when the conference call host is asking everyone to confirm they are ready to close, because I like to watch the world burn [picture]'.
Weaknesses:
- Impulsive: He often makes impulsive decisions, as seen in his tweet 'Might fuck around and buy a condo later idk [picture]'.
- Easily Frustrated: He gets easily frustrated with bureaucracy and inefficiency, as seen in his tweet '“We’re waiting on the following items” proceeds to list 5 documents that we already sent in the same email thread [picture]'.
- Overly Critical: He is overly critical of others, as seen in his tweet 'You can tell these lists are made by such hardos [picture] [quoted tweet]'.
- Addicted to Caffeine: His frequent mentions of Diet Coke suggest a potential addiction to caffeine.
- Lack of Patience: He expresses impatience with people who don't answer his questions directly, as seen in his tweet 'Lawyers that don't answer my questions directly and unambiguously get sent to Gulag [picture]'.
Your Simpsons character
Mr. Burns
Short Convexity's ruthless ambition, disregard for others, and penchant for manipulating situations to his advantage make him a perfect match for Mr. Burns. His ambition is evident in his desire to succeed in his career, as seen in his tweet '“Bro I can’t do that rn I’m working I’m crazy busy and important” (I have to send out DocuSign requests) [picture]'. His disregard for others is shown in his willingness to exploit people for his own gain, as seen in his tweet '“We’re waiting on the following items” proceeds to list 5 documents that we already sent in the same email thread [picture]'. His penchant for manipulating situations to his advantage is evident in his tweet 'Screaming “NO” when the conference call host is asking everyone to confirm they are ready to close, because I like to watch the world burn [picture]'. These traits align with Mr. Burns's character, who is known for his ruthlessness, greed, and manipulative nature.
Your MBTI personality Type
Some pickup lines for you
- I bet you're a great listener, because you're always on the phone. 😉
- You must be a lawyer, because you're always trying to close deals. 😜
- I'm not a lawyer, but I can definitely help you with your DocuSign requests. 😏
- I'm not sure if you're a caffeine addict or a workaholic, but either way, I'm interested. 😉
- I'm not sure if you're a shark or a wolf, but either way, I'm ready to be your prey. 😈
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Finance bro living in Manhattan. Phone call supremacist. Follow me for hot takes, Diet Coke reviews, and occasional rants about the IRS.– @negative_IRR
Your signature cocktail
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Short Convexity's ambition, cunning, and resourcefulness, coupled with his occasional disregard for rules, make him a perfect fit for Slytherin. His ambition is evident in his desire to succeed in his career, as seen in his tweet '“Bro I can’t do that rn I’m working I’m crazy busy and important” (I have to send out DocuSign requests) [picture]'. His cunning is shown in his ability to manipulate situations to his advantage, as seen in his tweet 'Screaming “NO” when the conference call host is asking everyone to confirm they are ready to close, because I like to watch the world burn [picture]'. His disregard for rules is evident in his willingness to break the law, as seen in his tweet 'If you smoke weed in public you should be killed [picture]'. These traits align with the values of Slytherin, which prioritizes ambition, cunning, and resourcefulness.
Your movie
Your song
Money, Money, Money - ABBA
This song, which celebrates the pursuit of wealth and material possessions, perfectly captures Short Convexity's ambition and his desire for success. His frequent tweets about his work and his desire for financial gain align with the song's themes of money and material wealth. The song's upbeat tempo and catchy melody also reflect Short Convexity's energetic and often humorous personality.
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