Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally expressive: Openly shares strong feelings, from anger in “i fucking hate kal Im breaking up with him fuck that guy. He is racist and antisemetic.” to despair in “thats it…i have to kill myself…”.
- Humorous tone: Uses playful, silly phrasing like “Its my birthday...oh fart balls” and light teasing in “ok green goblin”.
- Affectionate friend: Shows closeness and playful intimacy with friends, e.g. “me: tickles wilhelm Wilhelm: img stoooop me: lol srry” and “me and wilhelm”.
- Direct communicator: States opinions bluntly without hedging, such as calling out someone as racist and antisemitic in “i fucking hate kal Im breaking up with him fuck that guy. He is racist and antisemetic.”.
- Self-revealing: Comfortable sharing personal identity and moments, like “i am ivan” and posting about their birthday in “Its my birthday...oh fart balls”.
Weaknesses:
- Hostile language: Uses harsh insults and profanity toward others, as in “i fucking hate kal Im breaking up with him fuck that guy.” and “i hate thos bitch”.
- Self-harm expressions: References suicidal thoughts in “thats it…i have to kill myself…”, suggesting serious emotional distress communicated publicly.
- Aggressive teasing: Engages in sharp, mocking comments like “Ive seen your gay shit before, rocky.” and warning “u gonna get cancelled for this, watch out boy”.
- Conflict escalation: Publicly calls out and “exposes” people, as in “exposing @wonkyrock.”, which can intensify drama instead of resolving issues privately.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
A classic match.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They seem more introverted (I) than extroverted: their tweets are mostly about their own moods and close interpersonal drama rather than big social scenes, e.g. “thats it…i have to kill myself…” and “Its my birthday...oh fart balls”, which sound inward and self-focused rather than attention‑seeking party posts. Their humor and references suggest intuition (N) over sensing: they latch onto niche/online-cultural or narrative concepts like “new norm. Where is new norm. did WE FORGET ABOUT IT!!” and the visual-novel reference “i just finished the free dies irae thing…..sad”, which is more about ideas and stories than concrete day-to-day details. The emotional intensity and value-driven reactions point to feeling (F) rather than thinking: when upset at someone, they focus on moral/emotional judgment, e.g. “i fucking hate kal Im breaking up with him fuck that guy. He is racist and antisemetic.” rather than making a detached argument. Their feed feels perceiving (P): impulsive, mood-based posts like “thats it…i have to kill myself…” and playful, chaotic interactions such as “me: tickles wilhelm Wilhelm: img stoooop me: lol srry” show spontaneity rather than structured planning. Taken together—self-focused, emotionally intense, value-driven, and spontaneous—the pattern fits INFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- So… if ‘me and Wilhelm’ is the current duo, any chance you’re accepting applications for a chaotic third wheel, or is that spot reserved for whoever laughs at the tickle bit too hard?
- You said ‘that’s it… I have to kill myself…’ — bold of you to assume I wouldn’t immediately respawn in your DMs just to annoy you back to life.
- You finished the free Dies Irae thing and felt sad; I haven’t finished it, but I’m already tragic enough to be your route’s bad ending… or, if you want, the secret good ending.
- On your birthday you said ‘oh fart balls’ — next year, let me upgrade that to ‘oh, Ivan actually has someone cute insisting on celebrating with him.’
- You tweeted ‘I am Ivan’ like a dramatic reveal, but honestly I’m more interested in being the person you tag right after that with ‘…and this is the idiot I kinda like.’
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Ivan | Certified ‘ok green goblin’ enjoyer | Once finished a VN and called it ‘sad’ like a eulogy | Opinions loud, birthday modest– @negative_xp_
Your signature cocktail
The RommuWoke Birthday Meltdown
The overproof dark rum is for the chaotic, unfiltered energy of posts like “thats it…i have to kill myself…” and “i fucking hate kal Im breaking up with him fuck that guy. He is racist and antisemetic.”. Sour cherry liqueur adds emo drama and a little heartbreak sweetness, echoing the sad memes in “reddit aita sad goldenchild stories, pls god” and the existential whine of “new norm. Where is new norm. did WE FORGET ABOUT IT!!”. Cold brew coffee keeps the drink wired and slightly bitter, like telling someone “u gonna get cancelled for this, watch out boy” at 3 a.m. online. Salted caramel syrup is the goofy, self-deprecating sweetness of “Its my birthday...oh fart balls” and the playful chaos of “me: tickles wilhelm Wilhelm: img stoooop me: lol srry”. A splash of soda water lightens everything just enough to keep it drinkable, the fizzy shrug behind “ok green goblin” and the deadpan identity flex of “i am ivan”.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Ivan shows strong impulsiveness and a tendency to loudly stand up for what he thinks is right, even if it’s messy or confrontational. His abrupt moral stance in “i fucking hate kal Im breaking up with him fuck that guy. He is racist and antisemetic.” reflects a very Gryffindor-like readiness to cut ties over perceived injustice, prioritizing principle over harmony. He’s also dramatically open about his own emotional lows, as in “thats it…i have to kill myself…”, which suggests a flair for raw, unfiltered expression rather than the guarded self-preservation typical of Slytherin. At the same time, he engages in playful, chaotic interactions with friends, like the teasing affection in “me: tickles wilhelm Wilhelm: img stoooop me: lol srry” and the mock call-outs in “exposing @wonkyrock.”, aligning with Gryffindor’s boisterous, socially fearless energy. There’s little evidence of the studious focus of Ravenclaw or the steady, gentle consistency of Hufflepuff; instead, his timeline reads as emotionally driven, bold, and confrontational—classic Gryffindor traits.
Your movie
Your song
Creep - Radiohead
Radiohead’s Creep fits Ivan because it captures a mix of self-loathing, dark humor, and feeling out of place that runs through his posts. His dramatic, suicidal joke in “thats it…i have to kill myself…” echoes the song’s raw insecurity and hopelessness. The way he turns emotional moments into offbeat humor, like “Its my birthday...oh fart balls”, matches the song’s vibe of masking pain with irony. His angry breakup tweet, “i fucking hate kal Im breaking up with him fuck that guy. He is racist and antisemetic.”, shows the same kind of intense emotional volatility that Creep channels. Overall, the song’s themes of alienation, self-disgust, and desperate yearning align closely with the personality revealed in his timeline.
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