Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Playful humor: Frequently uses dramatic, absurd jokes like “Loyal Citizens, your President has been prescribed meds, another win for the Internatial Republic” and “my days are numbered, but worry not! for i cannot count!”.
- Self‑reflective: Openly questions their own politics and growth, e.g. “I must become a more political conscious scoundrel” and “How have I the gall to stamp myself a feminist when I have not even read engel's origin of the family!”.
- Humanistic warmth: Expresses strong affection for people, like “How can I ever despair when every corner of the earth is filled with such beautiful people” and “ive an ineffable love for humanity!!”.
- Creative expressiveness: Uses vivid imagery and theatrical language such as “bash my skull until i dont have to think so much!!!! ahhhh!!!” and “ooh my heart burns so bright i have 3rd degree burns all over my chest”.
- Curious learner: Shows enthusiasm for learning and reading, mentioning biology, Marxist texts, and books like “New books!” and wanting to find “a steampunk book in the library after i finish zetkin”.
Weaknesses:
- Self‑deprecating: Calls themself things like “im a stupid stupid old man” and “im an idiot who talks alot!!!”, which suggests harsh self‑judgment.
- Negative self‑image: Describes feeling like “a decaying, rotting corpse” and wants others to “bash my skull in” if they change, hinting at internalized negativity.
- Overwhelmed student: Often posts about academic strain such as “this executive dysfunction is so miserable, I watch my life whizz away” and multiple lab assignments and biology stress like “biology is detrimental to human prosperity”.
- Emotional volatility: Swings rapidly between giddy excitement “ahhaehhehehehahhahee so giddy” and intense despair or self‑annihilation language like “They need to annihilate me for this”.
- Work dissatisfaction: Repeatedly complains about jobs, e.g. “I hate my terrible job canr wait to quit” and “i cannot wait to quit my stupid fucking job!!!!”, suggesting ongoing frustration with work situations.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, combining intense idealism, overthinking, and bookish leftist politics with bouts of self-doubt. They agonize about not being a good enough feminist or theorist, e.g. lamenting, “How have I the gall to stamp myself a feminist when I have not even read engel's origin of the family! Im a fraud!”, which mirrors Lisa’s constant anxiety about living up to her principles. Like Lisa, they swing between grand moral stances and everyday exhaustion, writing things like “this executive dysfunction is so miserable, I watch my life whizz away” while also posting about lab work, biology, and wanting to work in a research lab, as in “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME WORK IN YOUR LAB”. Their earnest love for humanity comes through in posts such as “How can I ever despair when every corner of the earth is filled with such beautiful people” and “ive an ineffable love for humanity!! i can only hope reading more will allow me to express i fully!!!”, echoing Lisa’s deep compassion. At the same time, their dramatic, slightly theatrical self-roasting—like “bash my skull until i dont have to think so much!!!! ahhhh!!!” and “I'm like if a decaying, rotting corpse had 2 lab assignments due every week”—feels like Lisa’s melodramatic teen-angst version turned up and given a Twitter account.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extrovert (E): they repeatedly express a love of talking and social contact, e.g. “gosh i just love to talk and talk and talk and talk”, want to befriend more people (“they should let me befriend more folk punks irl”), and enjoy chatting with strangers (“I like talking to strangers at the bus stop”). They strongly favor Intuition (N) over Sensing, focusing on big-picture ideas, politics, and meaning in life: “ive an ineffable love for humanity!! i can only hope reading more will allow me to express i fully!!!” and musings about therapy, misanthropy, and commodity fetishism (“i think this is considerd commodity fetishism but im really stupid and don tknow if i applied that term correctly”). Their tone and values are clearly Feeling (F)-oriented: they center ethics, care, and emotional intensity, e.g. “My extraordinary love for humanity is only matched by how infuriating I find us all to be.”, “A true revolutionary must have a profound love for women!”, and moral stances like being anti‑porn (“Its great to be Anti Porn, its a disgusting industry that manipulates, exploits, and objectifies women and girls.”). Finally, they read as Perceiving (P): they joke about executive dysfunction and lack of structure (“this executive dysfunction is so miserable, I watch my life whizz away”), procrastinate on homework while wanting to drink at the bar (“i want to DRINK at the BAR but i cant cuz i have HOMEWOKR HOMEWORK HOMEWORK”), and present themselves as spontaneous and scattered (“im an idiot who talks alot!!! hope you can all relate to me!”, “SpontaNEOus”). Altogether, this high‑energy, idealistic, emotional, and spontaneous profile fits ENFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You say you’re ‘like if a beetle was a guy’—lucky for me I’m extremely into arthropods, so when are we scheduling fieldwork to study your natural habitat over a beer?
- You begged labs to hire you and called yourself the President of the International Republic—how about a political alliance: you bring the cactus wine and colonche, I’ll bring the pound cake and you can punch me right into a second date.
- You don’t even like steak, your friends don’t like your beers, and you abbreviate black sesame as ‘bss’—statistically speaking, you’re overdue for one (1) guy who thinks all of that is perfect. I volunteer as sample size n=1.
- You’re out here reading Zetkin, hunting for steampunk, worrying about Engels and feminism, and still loving humanity even when it infuriates you; that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen on this app. If you ever want to bicker about politics over coffee-without-sugar, I’m in.
- You love boots, ties, beetles, folk punk, and calling yourself a bitter old decaying man—so if I show up in polished boots, Days N Daze on vinyl, and a pound cake as tribute, do I get to be a Loyal Citizen or do I get promoted straight to co-President?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Biology student, boot polisher, cactus-wine enthusiast. Once dyed my hair 5 times in a week and it stayed healthier than my executive function.– @neolaudius
Your signature cocktail
SpontaNEOus Beetle Republic Fizz
This cocktail is bright, talkative, and a little weird, just like the one who says “gosh i just love to talk and talk and talk and talk” and calls themselves “im like if a beetle was a guy”. The black sesame–infused gin nods to their self-aware joke about “i abbreviate black sesame as bss, despite there not being a 2nd s. this is probably a form of orientalism”, grounding the drink in nutty, thoughtful depth. Sparkling cactus wine and prickly pear bring the adventurous fermentation joy of “If all goes well, tomorrow i will try some cactus wine!” and the effervescent optimism of “ive an ineffable love for humanity!! i can only hope reading more will allow me to express i fully!!!”. A dash of bittersweet amaro captures their mix of exhaustion and intensity in “I'm like if a decaying, rotting corpse had 2 lab assignments due every week” and “this executive dysfunction is so miserable, I watch my life whizz away”, while lime juice keeps it sharp and alive. The foamy, sesame-dusted top crowns it with theatrical flair for the self-declared president who greets us with “hello my loyal citizens” and International Republic bravado.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
This account radiates loud, chaotic bravery and an eagerness to throw themselves head‑first into life, which is distinctly Gryffindor. They dramatize their own moral failings in a theatrical, self-flaying way, e.g. calling themselves a fraud for not having read Engels and begging to be "lambaste[d]" and "flay[ed]" in “How have I the gall to stamp myself a feminist when I have not even read engel's origin of the family! Im a fraud! A fraud I say! One who can't commit to anything! Lambaste me, flay me, pick my bones for stock, string my intestines for music, and tan my skin for leather!”, which shows the classic Gryffindor tendency toward melodramatic self-judgment and moral performativity. They frame themselves as a kind of joking revolutionary leader and hero with lines like “Loyal Citizens, your President has been prescribed meds, another win for the Internatial Republic” and "hello my loyal citizens" in “hello my loyal citizens”, signaling a performative courage and desire to lead, even if humorously. Their politics are expressed in blunt, value-driven terms — for example, “Its great to be Anti Porn, its a disgusting industry that manipulates, exploits, and objectifies women and girls.” — which is more about moral stance and righteous indignation than detached analysis, another Gryffindor hallmark. The willingness to be loudly vulnerable about their mental health and executive dysfunction in “this executive dysfunction is so miserable, I watch my life whizz away” also shows a kind of emotional courage typical of Gryffindor rather than reserved introspection. While they clearly enjoy learning and politics, the overriding traits are impulsive emotional honesty, theatrical self-presentation, and a bold, heart-on-sleeve love for people and ideals, all of which fit Gryffindor best.
Your movie
Your song
Anarchy in the U.K. - Sex Pistols
A fitting song for @neolaudius is Anarchy in the U.K. by the Sex Pistols, capturing their playful revolutionary persona and chaotic humor. They literally roleplay a tiny polity in their bio and tweets, calling themselves president of an 'International Republic' and posting things like “Loyal Citizens, your President has been prescribed meds, another win for the Internatial Republic”, which matches the song’s gleeful rebellion against order. Their love of loud, messy feeling and self-dramatization — for example “bash my skull until i dont have to think so much!!!! ahhhh!!!” and “I'm like if a decaying, rotting corpse had 2 lab assignments due every week” — fits the song’s snarling, over-the-top emotional chaos. They also show a punk-ish affection for humanity and politics, as in “My extraordinary love for humanity is only matched by how infuriating I find us all to be.” and “A true revolutionary must have a profound love for women!”, echoing the song’s mix of contempt and weird affection for the world. Even their giddy show-going, like “they should let me befriend more folk punks irl” and “days n daze sooo good i always forget how great they are”, underscores that their spirit is fundamentally punk, making this classic anthem a strong match.
Your time travel destination
Your video game
Your spirit animal
Your (un)funny joke
Your superpower
Your fictional best friend
Your dream vacation
Your alternate career path
Your celebrity match
Did you enjoy your Horoscope?
Your horoscope is 23 days old! Generate a better one from your latest tweets, unlock more insights and use a smarter pro AI!
