NLinBougainvill
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Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Clever Wit: He continually turns politics and personal failure into sharp jokes — e.g., 'nieuw plan voor vrede in het midden (fivelgo) oosten (slochteren)' shows playful intelligence.
- Resourceful: He saved 'Twee maanden aan statiegeld' to fund a short, showing pragmatic scrappiness and financial initiative.
- Boldness: He posts provocative takes like 'verscheep moerdijkers naar shanghai groyper', demonstrating willingness to be outrageous.
- Romantic Persistence: He endures freezing mornings and awkward classes for a crush: 'Wakker worden om 7 uur in de vrieskou om maar 1 vak extra met haar te volgen.'
- Self-Awareness: He recognizes his own melodrama and turns it into humor: 'Het wordt niet beter in mijn chud leven, daarom moet ik beginnen ervan te houden.'
Weaknesses:
- Alcohol Reliance: Frequent tweets about drinking—'Alcohol voor vannacht is binnen' and 'This is why we drink'—suggest coping via booze rather than solutions.
- Performative Outrage: Provocations like 'verscheep moerdijkers naar shanghai groyper' can be more theatrical than constructive, risking alienation.
- Impulsive Trading: Opening shorts because of a meme-like plan—'Shortpositie geopened on palantir'—hints at speculative impulses more than disciplined strategy.
- Romantic Naïveté: Waking in the cold or falling asleep in class for a crush—'Door mn les met haar heengeslapen. Het is over'—shows emotional decisions that backfire.
- Pessimistic Humor: Self-labeling 'chud life' and jokes about group suicide ('groepssuicide morgen') reveal a dark gallows humor that can mask real distress and push others away.
Your Simpsons character
Barney Gumble
Barney's defining traits — heavy drinking, rough-around-the-edges humor, and occasional bursts of heartfelt messiness — mirror this user's stream of alcohol posts, singing, and self-mocking 'chud life' commentary. Like Barney, the account oscillates between comic decay and sudden sincerity (e.g., romantic flops and earnest political stunts), making him a better match than genius planner types.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
ENTP fits his debating, spontaneous and contrarian style. Extraverted: he posts performative 'GuMo!' greetings and engages groups ('dit account staat voor ontmoeting...'). Intuitive: he loves abstract political satire and weird hypotheticals like 'Je hebt een pistool ... Wie schiet je?' Thinking: he privileges razor-sharp, often cruel humor over feelings ('verscheep moerdijkers naar shanghai groyper'). Perceiving: he flits between markets, late-night drinking, and mattress-romances (saving to short Ubisoft, 'Wakker worden om 7 uur in de vrieskou ...'). Examples: 'realisatie dat over politiek praten irl helemaal niet leuk is' shows reflective idea-play; 'Shortpositie geopened on palantir' shows rapid, strategic action typical of ENTPs.
Some pickup lines for you
- Do you like cold walks? Because I once woke at 7 in the freezing just to follow one class with you — worth the frostbite if you go for coffee?
- I saved two months of bottle deposits to short Ubisoft, but I'd spend it all on one date with you — that's how terrible I am at priorities.
- If love were a short position, you'd be my long — let me prove I can flip my whole strategy for you.
- Come sit by me and I'll serenade you with my drunk song parodies; worst-case scenario we both forget it tomorrow, best-case we make a memory.
- Call me a Groninger: I’ll travel through freezing mornings and awkward lectures just to be near you — at least let me buy the Sprite.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Groninger prank-diplomat • student & part-time market tinkerer (shorts: Ubisoft, Palantir) • memetic realpolitik from the North • beer, bad songs, cold walks & dramatic crushes • Buka via Groningen– @NLinBougainvill
Your signature cocktail
The Groninger Hangover
The 'Groninger Hangover' blends Dutch jenever and beer with a Sprite splash — nods to his many 'Sprite' and beer tweets ('Hij heeft mijn sprite ook nog gestolen', 'Alcohol voor vannacht is binnen'). The salty liquorice bitters recall northern Dutch taste and the lemon twist keeps it oddly optimistic, mirroring his bitter-sweet humor ('Het wordt niet beter in mijn chud leven, daarom moet ik beginnen ervan te houden').
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Slytherin fits because of his ambition, cunning and strategic streak: he hoards 'statiegeld' to fund market plays and openly opens 'Shortpositie geopened on palantir', showing pragmatic opportunism. His willingness to provoke and manipulate narratives ('nieuw plan voor vrede...') aligns with Slytherin resourcefulness and political maneuvering. Though he has humor and warmth, his tactics and appetite for advantage make Slytherin the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
Tubthumping - Chumbawamba
'Tubthumping' — the 'I get knocked down, but I get up again' anthem — suits him because he repeatedly celebrates getting back up after messy nights and political swings: 'Het wordt niet beter in mijn chud leven, daarom moet ik beginnen ervan te houden' and many drink/resilience tweets capture that bruised-but-defiant spirit.
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