Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Affectionate partner: Frequently expresses care for her girlfriend, like cooking for her despite restricting herself in “just cause i starve myself doesn’t mean my gf should !!! cooked for the beautiful wifey <33” and texting her sweet things in “texting my gf “i wanna kiss””.
- Community-oriented: Engages actively with her online community, asking for input and interaction in “help !! what’re good valentine’s day dates that don’t revolve around food ??” and celebrating small accounts in “i love small accounts, that’s where the real bangers lie”.
- Humorous voice: Uses light, playful humor even when annoyed, like joking about her neighbor in “annoying upstairs neighbor deadass told me to stop walking around my apartment so much… STOP WALKING AROUND??? BRO I LIVE HEREEEE” and about Taco Bell hints in “keep dropping hints to my gf that i want taco bell and i can’t go get it cause ive had some drinks but she’s too busy playing fortnite to care”.
- Emotionally expressive: Openly shares complex feelings about depression, body image, and stress, like “just called my mom and cried about how fat i feel… this is a new low” and “i’m so fucking depressed today, i want to call out but i can’t afford that :c”.
- Thoughtful gift-giver: Prioritizes making others happy with small gestures, like buying the higher-calorie creamer her girlfriend wanted in “my gf wanted this creamer really bad, so i fought off my ed thoughts and bought it! … her excitement made it all worth it <3” and planning surprise food in “told my gf i didn’t feel like cooking so this could be a surprise :3 she thinks she’s having pizza rolls hehe”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive drinking: Frequently uses alcohol as a coping mechanism and frames it nihilistically, as in “drinking vodka mixed with water… what is life even about? … fuck that, i wanna die”, “day drinking cause i can’t cvt myself”, and “drinking again tonight cause who gaf”.
- Severe self-criticism: Regularly describes herself harshly and with suicidal language about her body, like “why do i eat so much? i want to kms i hate how big i am” and “so fat i need to kms”.
- Disordered eating: Demonstrates intense restrictive behaviors and obsession with calories, noting liquid fasts and low intake in “drinkable yog for breakfast cause im liquid fasting today <3 (100 + 14g protein)” and talking about wanting her lowest weight again in “i want my lw i want to be skinny i want a flat stomach i want thin thighs”.
- Mental health crisis: Shows ongoing distress with references to wanting to die and inability to stay sober, like “i don’t remember the last time i was sober tbh” and “fuck that, i wanna die”, as well as using day drinking to manage self-harm urges in “day drinking cause i can’t cvt myself”.
- Work avoidance: Lets body image and mood interfere with responsibilities, calling out due to feeling fat in “called out of work cause i feel fat” and expressing how depression tempts her to miss work in “i’m so fucking depressed today, i want to call out but i can’t afford that :c”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, but as if Lisa grew up, fell into self-destructive coping, and stayed extremely online. Like Lisa, they’re introspective, anxious, and constantly analyzing themselves and their life, as seen in posts like “does having a a restrictive ed long term fuck with your memory? or is that my substance abuse” and “i miss drawing so much :( my ed has made me such a loser”. They show strong emotional intensity and idealism twisted inward, wanting a different, better self: “i want my lw i want to be skinny i want a flat stomach i want thin thighs i want to go back to life before and ed”. Like Lisa’s tendency toward burnout and alienation, this user feels overwhelmed by adulthood and expectations, illustrated by “what is life even about? getting a job? paying bills? starting a family? fuck that, i wanna die”. Their love for little aesthetic comforts and routines—coffee, food logs, journaling—echo Lisa’s reliance on activities and hobbies to cope, such as “time to write in my journal since therapy was canceled :))” and “good morning :3 my gf wanted this creamer really bad, so i fought off my ed thoughts and bought it! … her excitement made it all worth it <3”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFP
They lean Extraverted: they constantly engage with others, ask for input, and seem energized by interaction, e.g. asking followers things like “if you had to guess my astrology sign, what would you guess? ✨🤍”, crowd-sourcing date ideas in “help !! what’re good valentine’s day dates that don’t revolve around food ?? ”, and talking about follow limits and wanting more active accounts in “how do i find the 18+ ACTIVE edtwt accounts to follow back”. Their focus is very Sensing: tweets are grounded in immediate bodily states, food, and concrete details—calorie counts like “breakfasttttt (191 + 14.2g protein)”, physical sensations in “i feel so shaky and weak”, and specific activities such as pottery painting in “my take away is POTTERY PAINTING!!! yippie this is genius ily guys 🤍🤍” rather than abstractions or theories. Their values and self-talk show strong Feeling: decisions revolve around emotions, relationships, and self-worth, evident in “just cause i starve myself doesn’t mean my gf should !!! cooked for the beautiful wifey <33” and self-criticism like “just called my mom and cried about how fat i feel… this is a new low”, rather than detached logic. Finally, they appear strongly Perceiving: they change plans impulsively and go with the moment—debating snacks vs dinner in “i’m hungry but idk if i should just have dinner now? or have a snack and wait for later to have dinner”, debating liquids vs solids in “cauliflower crust pizza for dinner… or liquids???”, and spontaneously deciding “i should go on a lil drive for shits and giggles”. The combination of attention to sensory experience, high emotional expressiveness, social engagement, and impulsive lifestyle fits ESFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- If you’re the CEO of aesthetic coffees, can I apply to be your CFO—Chief Flirt Officer? I promise to log every drinkable yog, banana waffle, and Baja Zero as ‘quality time with you’ in the books.
- You: liquid fasting, drinkable yog, counting every calorie. Me: counting the reasons your gf is lucky as hell—starting with ‘cooked for the beautiful wifey even while starving herself’ and ending with ‘texts “i wanna kiss” like it’s the cutest spell ever.’
- You said you miss drawing and pottery painting—how about we go paint some mugs together, and every time you say you ‘feel fat’ I’m legally required to add another heart or little kitty on yours as a counter-curse?
- You’re out here calling yourself ‘so fat I need to kms’ while literally getting 2.2k likes on a body check, back dimples begging for dermals, and a sister calling you tiny—I’m just trying to subscribe to whatever alternate universe mirror you’re using so I can see that ‘gf-level pretty’ up close.
- You keep going on long drives to clear your head and spam-posting every coffee, yog, and Taco Bell craving—wanna upgrade it to a co-op mission where we blast music, rate every Dairy Queen Blizzard you love, and you can be high on life instead of vodka mixed with water for once?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
22 | coffee-fueled overthinker tracking macros, cats, and late-night drives. Once bought creamer 15 cals higher just to see my gf smile.– @no_irls_allowed
Your signature cocktail
Relapse Era Angel Fizz
The Relapse Era Angel Fizz is a chaotic-sweet, slightly dangerous drink that matches their vibe of day drinking and not remembering the last time they were sober, like in “i don’t remember the last time i was sober tbh” and “day drinking cause i can’t cvt myself”. Vanilla vodka mirrors those vodka-and-water nights and the numb, questioning spiral in “drinking vodka mixed with water… what is life even about?... fuck that, i wanna die”. A strawberry coconut yogurt foam nods to their obsession with drinkable yogurts and protein counts in “mmmm strawberry coconut yogggg 🍓🥥 (195 + 28g protein)” and “drinkable yog for breakfast cause im liquid fasting today <3 (100 + 14g protein)”. The diet citrus soda is a bubbly stand-in for their "mmm chemicals" and soda love in “BAJA ZEROOOOO” and “mmmm chemicals”, keeping it light but caffeinated-chaotic. Cold brew coffee ice cubes represent being "ceo of aesthetic coffees" and the constant coffee-posting in “forgot to post coffee” and “good morning :3 my gf wanted this creamer really bad...”. Finally, the edible glitter and Hello Kitty marshmallow capture their soft, cute, slightly feral angel persona and cozy gamer-gf aesthetic from “hello kitty socks + minecraft jacket = drip” and the loving chaos of “just cause i starve myself doesn’t mean my gf should !!! cooked for the beautiful wifey <33”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
They show strong loyalty and caretaking, especially toward their girlfriend, which is very Hufflepuff-coded. For example, they prioritize their partner’s well‑being over their own restrictive rules in “just cause i starve myself doesn’t mean my gf should !!! cooked for the beautiful wifey <33” and find joy in small acts of kindness like buying a higher-calorie creamer because it makes their girlfriend happy in “my gf wanted this creamer really bad, so i fought off my ed thoughts and bought it! … her excitement made it all worth it <3”. They also clearly value emotional connection and community, shown by affection for mutuals and small accounts in “i love small accounts, that’s where the real bangers lie” and wanting to engage with specific communities in “how do i find the 18+ ACTIVE edtwt accounts to follow back”. Even when struggling, they still seek gentle, cozy activities like pottery painting in “my take away is POTTERY PAINTING!!! yippie this is genius ily guys 🤍🤍”, which fits Hufflepuff’s love of simple comforts. Their timeline emphasizes care, softness, and relationships over ambition or glory, aligning them most strongly with Hufflepuff.
Your movie
Your song
Bury a Friend - Billie Eilish
A fitting song for them is Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish, which blends dark, self-destructive themes with a soft, dreamy aesthetic. Their timeline swings between cute, cozy posts like “good morning :3 my gf wanted this creamer really bad, so i fought off my ed thoughts and bought it!” and very bleak admissions like “drinking vodka mixed with water… what is life even about? getting a job? paying bills? starting a family? fuck that, i wanna die”. The song’s preoccupation with self-loathing and bodily discomfort parallels tweets such as “i’m so embarrassed and ashamed of this body” and “does having a a restrictive ed long term fuck with your memory? or is that my substance abuse”. Their references to constant intoxication like “i don’t remember the last time i was sober tbh” and “day drinking cause i can’t cvt myself” fit the song’s haunted, dissociated vibe. At the same time, their soft-girl aesthetic and playful posts like “meows at you” mirror the contrast in Billie’s work between vulnerability and darkness, making this track feel especially tailored to their online persona.
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