Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Intensely Devoted: She frequently expresses deep affection, calling herself “absurdly in love, crazy, and obsessed” with her girlfriend Julia.
- Loyal Friend: She values long-term bonds, celebrating her “sincere friendship” with Maria Theresa and calling her group “the best friends in the world”.
- Humorous Authenticity: She uses self-deprecating humor, describing herself as feeling like a “piece of rotten jackfruit” or getting “lost in the persona”.
- Passionate Interests: She shows strong enthusiasm for her hobbies, from rock music and “old cars” to rewatching series like She-Ra.
- Protective Nature: She is quick to defend her identity and relationship, calling out men who “don’t respect sapphic relationships”.
Weaknesses:
- Possessive Jealousy: She openly asks for a divine cure for the “jealousy I have of my woman”.
- Impulsive Cleptomania: She admits to petty theft under the hashtag #cleptotwt, listing a “harvest” of stolen items including a knife and a cardigan.
- Financial Irresponsibility: She acknowledges a recurring cycle of “financial disasters” that happen every single month.
- Academic Procrastination: She describes herself and a friend as “dumb and dumber” for waiting until the last minute to start an extension project.
- Short Temper: She frequently mentions feeling “ready to strangle” classmates or being easily “pushed to the limit”.
Your Simpsons character
Nelson Muntz
Despite a rough and rebellious exterior, this user shares Nelson’s hidden sentimental core, especially regarding intense loyalty to loved ones. They frequently display a chaotic, 'don't care' attitude toward their reputation, famously declaring “vadia i dont give a damn ‘bout my reputation, se manca”, yet they are deeply, almost obsessively, devoted to their partner. Like Nelson's occasional emotional outbursts, they admit to being “absurdamente apaixonada louca biruta obcecada rendida pela minha namorada”. Their habit of 'collecting' items in a way that mirrors Nelson’s troublemaking nature is seen in their “colheitinha de hojeee: canivete, casaquinho, coturno”. Ultimately, both the user and the Simpsons character mask a vulnerable, romantic heart with a gritty, unpredictable street persona.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
Cacau exhibits Extroversion (E) through her constant social involvement and open displays of affection, such as celebrating a night with “rock, minha mulher, carro veio, chopp e amigues”. Her Intuition (N) is seen in her self-identification as “sensitiva paranormal vidente mestre em reiki” and her penchant for abstract, dramatic expressions of love. She leans heavily toward Feeling (F), prioritizing emotional authenticity and her relationship, as evidenced by her being “absurdamente apaixonada louca biruta obcecada rendida pela minha namorada”. Finally, her Perceiving (P) trait shows in her spontaneous lifestyle and lack of planning, often making jokes about her “financeiramente n pode mais acontecer” or completing university “projeto de extensão” at the very last second.
Some pickup lines for you
- I may not be Barão Vermelho, but I’d love to be the next person to 'encostar' in you and win the lottery of your heart.
- Are you a Nana manga? Because I’m tempted to pull a #cleptotwt and take you home with me tonight.
- I promise I’m way better than the neighbor’s performance—how about we skip the metanol and just go for some chopp instead?
- If you ever need a break from She-Ra rewatches, I’d love to be the reason you experience a 'choque de realidade' that’s actually fun.
- I know your bio says you're apaixonada pela Julia, but is there any room in that Escort for someone who actually thinks the 'animal homem' is a disaster too?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Passionate about Julia, vintage Escorts, and rock music. Currently navigating a degree, cleptotwt tendencies, and the chaos of life with my best friend Karol.– @not_cacau
Your signature cocktail
The Julia-Obsessed Escort Sparkler
This cocktail is a chaotic yet romantic mix, much like a girl who identifies as “the girl from the Escort who is in love with Julia”. The smoky cachaça reflects her love for “rock, my woman, old cars, and draft beer”, while a splash of sour jackfruit liqueur acknowledges those days she feels like “a piece of rotten jackfruit”. The sparkling rosé and edible glitter represent her “sensory, paranormal, witchy” energy and the fact that “all my social networks are an altar of worship to my wife”. It’s a strong drink for someone who “drinks draft beer uninterruptedly from 10am to 1am”, served with a rose petal for the girl who is “absurdly in love, crazy, dizzy, obsessed” with her girlfriend.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Cacau exhibits a strong sense of self-preservation and a selective, fiercely protective loyalty to her 'inner circle' rather than universal kindness. She displays a resourceful, almost cunning edge, jokingly admitting to 'harvesting' items like a pocketknife and manga in her #cleptotwt post. Her ambition is rooted in personal desire and reputation, noted when she asserts “vadia i dont give a damn ‘bout my reputation” or describes herself as a “bruxa” with various mystical roles. Finally, her sharp wit and occasional ruthlessness toward those outside her circle—like wanting to “esganar essa tonga” in class—align perfectly with the Slytherin traits of being shrewd and putting one's own interests and people first.
Your movie
Your song
Bad Reputation - Joan Jett
The user explicitly identifies with this rebellious rock energy, tweeting “vadia i dont give a damn ‘bout my reputation, se manca” while showcasing a lifestyle filled with “rock, minha mulher, carro veio, chopp”. Their personality is unapologetically bold and chaotic, often joking about their “cleptotwt” tendencies or being a “bruxa”. Despite their rough edges and love for a “carro veio” (her Escort), the song's core of staying true to oneself mirrors her devotion to Julia, as she claims “TODAS as minhas redes sociais são um altar de endeusamento à minha esposa”. The track's punk-rock spirit perfectly captures someone who doesn't care about social norms or others' opinions on her “relacionamento safico”.
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