Notadoctor_24
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green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Witty: His sharp humor and creative insults, like 'Have you ever seen Dereck Lively and Sideshow Bob in the same room?' show a quick mind.
- Passionate: His intense opinions on sports, such as 'Tua is a BUM,' reflect his deep emotional investment in his interests.
- Bold: Calling out Elon Musk with 'You’re gonna human centipede yourself to Trump, aren’t you?' shows his fearless nature.
- Observant: His ability to pick apart cultural and societal trends, like 'You are so stupid if you think the US gets into world affairs to “take care” of the rest of the world,' highlights his analytical skills.
- Authentic: His unfiltered tweets, such as 'Costco is the amusement park of grocery stores,' demonstrate his genuine, no-holds-barred personality.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh: His tweets often come across as overly critical, such as 'Fuck this idiot and your shit services @lyft.'
- Pessimistic: His frequent use of phrases like 'What a waste of this planet’s resources' shows a tendency to focus on the negative.
- Judgmental: Statements like 'People who shop at Aldi should just skip to black tar heroin' reveal a tendency to judge others harshly.
- Provocative: His bold critiques, such as 'Clay Travis confirmed fan of pedophiles,' can alienate others.
- Impatient: His frustration with inefficiency, like 'No matter how many items you need from Lowe’s/Home Depot, you’re making at least two trips,' shows a lack of tolerance for delays.
Your Simpsons character
Comic Book Guy
Cousin's sarcastic, critical nature closely resembles Comic Book Guy's personality. Like Cousin, Comic Book Guy is known for his biting commentary and disdain for mediocrity, such as 'Costco is the amusement park of grocery stores.' Both have a knack for delivering harsh truths with a humorous twist, making them a perfect match.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTJ
Cousin embodies the ENTJ personality type: bold, strategic, and outspoken. His tweet 'You’re gonna human centipede yourself to Trump, aren’t you?' reflects his direct, confrontational style. ENTJs are known for their strong opinions, much like Cousin's takes on sports and politics. His disdain for inefficiency, as seen in 'No matter how many items you need from Lowe’s/Home Depot, you’re making at least two trips,' aligns with their focus on results. His leadership qualities and ability to critique systems fit the ENTJ mold.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a basketball team? Because you’ve got me rebounding every time you smile.
- Are you Costco? Because I’d pay any membership fee just to be near you.
- Are you the snow on my roof? Because you’ve swept me off my feet.
- Are you a Slytherin? Because you’ve slyly worked your way into my heart.
- Are you a porcupine? Because you’re sharp, but I’m still drawn to you.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Boston-based sports critic & professional sarcasm distributor. Lover of brutal honesty, hater of frauds. Once compared Dereck Lively to Sideshow Bob. DM me if you dare.– @Notadoctor_24
Your signature cocktail
The Sarcastic Slam
The 'Sarcastic Slam' reflects Cousin's sharp and bold personality. Whiskey mirrors his strong, unfiltered opinions, while lemon juice adds a sour kick, just like his biting humor in 'Clay Travis confirmed fan of pedophiles.' Ginger beer provides a fiery undertone, matching his fiery takes on sports and politics. A dash of bitters ties it all together, representing his dark, sarcastic edge.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Cousin fits Slytherin with his cunning, ambition, and sharp tongue. His tweet 'You’re gonna human centipede yourself to Trump, aren’t you? @elonmusk' showcases his boldness and wit, traits Slytherins are known for. His disdain for mediocrity, as seen in 'Tua is a BUM,' aligns with their high standards. While he may lack the Gryffindor hero complex, his ability to navigate conflicts and call out hypocrisy fits the Slytherin mold perfectly.
Your movie
Your song
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
This song's tone of frustration and disillusionment resonates with Cousin's tweets, such as 'What a waste of this planet’s resources.' The song's lyrics about walking a lonely road reflect his often solitary stance against the world's absurdities, as seen in 'You are so stupid if you think the US gets into world affairs to “take care” of the rest of the world.'
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