NotNKVD
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In a relationship:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humor: Uses jokes and absurd references often (e.g., meme‑laden tweets like “If you play it backwards, Supernintendo Chalmers says Paul is Dead”).
- Creativity: Blends images, quotes, and obscure pop‑culture nods, such as the “Dark Psyduck the Moon” and “Freebird” posts.
- Self-aware: Admits personal mood swings and fatigue (“Feeling wiped out of nowhere”, “I’ve been suffering from a particular brand of boredom”).
- Honesty: Openly shares hardships like family deaths and car troubles without sugarcoating.
- Engagement: Frequently quotes, replies, and interacts with other users, showing active participation.
Weaknesses:
- Negativity: Often employs bleak language and profanity (e.g., “Fucking wonderful” about a flat tire).
- Impulsivity: Posts venting statements and random musings without much filtering.
- Escapism: Regularly ties alcohol to coping mechanisms, such as “Beer for every weapon miss” and “hangover grease”.
- Inconsistency: Switches abruptly between topics—from war games to personal health—making a coherent narrative hard to follow.
- Self-destructive: Mentions risky or harmful behavior, like shooting a would‑be mugger and driving with a flat tire while drinking.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
The user's self‑description as a "functional alcoholism" and constant references to drinking (e.g., "I could use a fuck off sized bowl of ramen and a Manhattan" and "I am living some of the last great American freedoms: Getting shit faced in transit") mirror Homer’s iconic love of Duff beer and his often‑drunk antics. Their occasional bursts of reckless impulsivity, like "The intrusive thoughts are telling me to open the throttle wide open," echo Homer's tendency to act without thinking. The bio’s line about putting "the funk in functional alcoholism" aligns with Homer's reputation as a lovable yet clueless alcoholic. While the user posts witty, chaotic memes, they also have "rare moments of clarity," just as Homer occasionally shows surprising insight despite his usual bumbling behavior.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
Their communication is outwardly expressive, frequently posting humorous observations and interacting with quoted tweets (e.g., "Me right after shooting my would be mugger:" and "I am living some of the last great American freedoms: Getting shit faced in transit."). They favor abstract connections and speculative ideas, as shown by jokes like "If you play it backwards, Supernintendo Chalmers says ‘Paul is Dead’" and "Statistically, there had to have been at least ONE Gundam ace…". Their decision‑making leans toward logical analysis over personal values, evident in remarks such as "Everything I hear about this is leading me to think it's some sort of PR stunt" and the data‑driven comment about Gundam. Their lifestyle is spontaneous and adaptable, with frequent references to ad‑hoc plans ("Day 3, the cat understands ‘food’", "AGAIN?", and "I’m going to keep this one around for a while").
Some pickup lines for you
- Hey, want to be my wingman in War Thunder? I’ll bring the coffee, you bring the firepower, and together we’ll make the enemy feel the afterburner of our chemistry.
- Your functional alcoholism is legendary—how about we start a functional romance with a Manhattan in one hand and a bowl of ramen in the other?
- If your M4’s fat handguards make you feel unstoppable, imagine how unstoppable we’d be together—let me be the magazine that never runs out of compliments.
- Your car’s flat tire sounds like the perfect excuse for a pit stop—let me be the mechanic who fixes it while we share a bottle of Stillhouse whiskey on the side of the road.
- I saw you love Crimson Skies and airships—let’s trade the virtual skies for a real one, cruising above the city with a whiskey in hand and a joke about Dark Psyduck.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Gaming & tech enthusiast, coffee‑powered night owl, flat‑tire dumbbell fan, turning mishaps into memes. Occasional deep thoughts included.– @NotNKVD
Your signature cocktail
The Shitposter’s Ramen Manhattan
The cocktail is named "The Shitposter’s Ramen Manhattan", a nod to the tweet where they say "I could use a fuck off sized bowl of ramen and a Manhattan". It blends bourbon (their love of whiskey, as seen when they say "Walked into Rise of Skywalker with a can full of Stillhouse whiskey") with sweet vermouth for the classic Manhattan vibe, cold brew coffee referencing "Early morning War Thunder with coffee in a cold room is not great for the nerves", and a ramen broth reduction to bring the salty, chaotic edge of their daily grind. A dash of chocolate bitters adds a funk, echoing their bio "Putting the funk in functional alcoholism". The drink’s strong, bitter‑salty profile mirrors their gritty, no‑filter style, highlighted by tweets like "I am living some of the last great American freedoms: Getting shit faced in transit". Finally, the garnish of an orange twist provides a rare moment of clarity, just like their occasional clear posts.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
The user frequently displays bold, daring behaviour, a hallmark of Gryffindor. For example, they tweet "Me right after shooting my would be mugger" showing courage in a dangerous situation. They also brag about risky actions like "Early morning War Thunder with coffee in a cold room" and "The intrusive thoughts are telling me to open the throttle wide open," both reflecting nerve and impulsive bravery. Their statement "I am living some of the last great American freedoms: Getting shit faced in transit" underscores a rebellious, fearless attitude that aligns with Gryffindor values.
Your movie
Your song
The Joker - Steve Miller Band
The Joker’s carefree, tongue‑in‑cheek vibe matches @NotNKVD’s self‑described "shitposter" persona, especially the lyric "I’m a joker, I’m a smoker" which mirrors his functional alcoholism and constant drinking ("Feeling wiped out of nowhere. I could use a fuck off sized bowl of ramen and a Manhattan."). The song’s funky groove echoes his bio’s line "Putting the funk in functional alcoholism," while the line "I’m a midnight rider" fits his late‑night gaming marathons and restless energy ("Early morning War Thunder with coffee in a cold room… I was shaking from cold and caffeine."). The Joker’s mantra of not taking life too seriously aligns with his chaotic posts about flat tires, busted cars, and random humor ("Coal. Coal, coal, and nothing but coal. To hell with this place, I’m getting liquored up."). Overall, the song’s blend of humor, rebellion, and a laid‑back party attitude reflects his tweets about drinking, gaming, and "getting shit faced in transit."
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