Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Playful humor: Uses absurd, self-aware jokes like “I get 1 gimmick and my head starts swelling like an enlarged prostate” and surreal lines like “ZOO WEE MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!”.
- Creative expression: Shows vivid, unusual imagery in posts like “Holds his head in my mouth like a golden retriever does w an egg it refuses to give back” and the to-do list in “2026 to do list … bite Noel Gallagher’s nose off”.
- Warm affection: Expresses fondness for people and interests, e.g. “Putting everyoomf in my Christmas stockings” and “Liam being so cutieful over Noel winning his award awwww my family im eating you both bones and all”.
- Community oriented: Engages others with prompts and gimmicks like “Nominating every single person in the whole world to do this okay” and straw.page links “Guilt trips you into sending sometbing funny”.
- Self-aware insight: Reflects on own behavior with awareness, e.g. “For someone who has notifications turned off for the twitter app i sure do open it a gazillion times a day. Purpose = defeated” and “I say shit like ‘Im not really in the business of’ but then be in the business of”.
Weaknesses:
- Boundary issues: Frequently posts intense sexual or violent fantasies about real people, e.g. “Noel needs to hop off kurt coban’s dick and jump on mine” and “bite Noel Gallagher’s nose off … bite Liam Gallagher’s nose off”.
- Self-neglect: Ignores physical limits, like forcing larger jewelry and then downplaying the pain in “forced the thicker gauges in so now my ears are so red and tender and i cant sleep on my side 😊❤️” and mentioning severe coccyx pain in “My coccyx hurts soooo bad”.
- Anxiety prone: Describes intense nervousness about social situations, e.g. “if I ever met Liam IRL i know Id faint… get a heart attack and shit myself in front of him and die” and anxious humor about driving in “say a lil prayer when they back up into a parking space”.
- Oversharing impulses: Posts graphic or very personal details like “My teeth are all moving. Theyre gonna fall off… every single one of them” and explicit fantasies in “Bend over touch your toes and I’ll show you where my monster goes”.
- Attention seeking: Often frames tweets around being noticed, e.g. “Did any one miss me in the 16 hours that i was away”, “Did you guys have fun without me and do fun things without me 😞 you wouldnt do that right 😊”, and follower-chasing posts like “Follow or im chasing you down the path of no return”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user combines intense fandom-brain, self-aware humor, and pockets of genuine anxiety in a way that’s very Lisa-coded, just pointed at Oasis and yaoi instead of jazz and school. Like Lisa, they’re smart and articulate but channel it into obsessive interests, e.g. their ultra-specific Oasis fixation and jokes about consulting/OKRs: “I’m in IT/SaaS 🤕 She OKR on my KPI until I”. Their dramatic, catastrophizing streak feels very Lisa having a meltdown over feelings or ethics, such as worrying about meeting Liam: “if I ever met Liam IRL i know Id faint. And probably get a heart attack and shit myself in front of him and die”. They also have Lisa’s introspective diary/posting energy, wanting to ‘lifepost’: “who gaf about Oasis? (crickets) now who gaf about Ziggylife? (everyone cheers and bursts into flames)”. Finally, their love for books and classic media (classic literature, Naruto, music obsessions) parallels Lisa’s nerdy, culture-soaked personality, just expressed in a far more unhinged, extremely-online way.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: their timeline is nonstop interaction, in-jokes with oomfs, and direct bids for social engagement like “Did any one miss me in the 16 hours that i was away” and playful threats such as “Follow or im chasing you down the path of no return (only if you want no pressure i feel bad no no its ok no its …)”. Their humor is strongly Intuitive, focused on abstractions, symbolism, and strange mental images rather than concrete facts, e.g. “All i ever wanted 💃 all i ever wanted 🕺all i ever wanted was to be your spine 🪩” and “Gork make the people in my profile picture open mouth kiss and then shatter them into a million pieces”. They clearly favor Feeling over Thinking: their posts are emotionally expressive, dramatic, and relationship-focused, as in “Liam being so cutieful over Noel winning his award awwww my family im eating you both bones and all” and the vulnerable, self-deprecating anxiety of “Im actually so scared of famous people that if I ever met Liam IRL i know Id faint… My stomach hurts just typing this”. Their lifestyle comes off as highly Perceiving: impulsive body mods and sleep patterns like “Life update… I did the smart rational thing and forced the thicker gauges in so now my ears are so red and tender and i cant sleep on my side 😊❤️” and chaotic time management like “Its 5pm i just woke up . I keep dreaming about brett anderson and his crack” suggest spontaneity over structure. Even their goals list is whimsical and flexible rather than orderly: “2026 to do list bite Noel Gallagher’s nose off … touch feets w at least 4 oomfs … be kinder tomyself”. Altogether, the high-energy social posting (E), surreal and metaphorical humor (N), emotionally-charged fan devotion (F), and improvisational, chaotic lifestyle (P) best fit ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You keep saying you’re ‘not really in the business of’ things, but since your 2026 to‑do list includes biting Noel and Liam’s noses off… any chance you can pencil in ‘touch feets with at least 1 extra oomf’ and make that me?
- You’re listening to Pet Sounds on repeat, dreaming about Brett Anderson’s crack, and smoking on that shit that made Hole violet—statistically speaking, the next logical step is going on a date with the person who enables this playlist, right?
- You said if you ever met Liam you’d faint, get a heart attack, shit yourself and die—don’t worry, I’m not a celebrity, just a mortal oomf who’d hold your hand in the queue, pass you Gaviscon, and tell you your coccyx is gonna be okay.
- As a fellow consultant / IT/SaaS enjoyer, I promise not to OKR on your KPI until you’re ready—but I do want to align our Q1 objectives around ‘lifeposting and diarymaxxing together’ and maybe shared rum and coke while we watch Oasis interviews with your mom.
- You put ‘yaoi, classic literature, Oasis, rum and coke, Naruto’ as your 5 things, you’re on Oasistwt, and you’re 26 with 16 piercings—statistically, you are the exact demographic I’d like to sit next to, share earbuds for ‘Cum On Feel the Noize,’ and argue NaruSasu with until we both forget Twitter exists.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
26 • PH • IT/SaaS consultant by day, Oasis + Naruto theorist by night. Once changed my piercings so hard I couldn’t sleep on my side for a week.– @oasismaxxer
Your signature cocktail
The Oasis Yaoi Rum & Coke Spiral
This chaotic little number is built on dark rum and cola, because they literally said they like “Oasis Rum and coke Naruto” in “5 things I like: Yaoi Classic literature Oasis Rum and coke Naruto”, and this whole account is basically that in liquid form. A squeeze of calamansi in the cola nods to their Filipino roots from their bio and their tweet about being an “employed filipino 26 year olds w 16 piercings on Oasistwt”, adding sharp brightness under the sweetness. A shot of coffee liqueur channels their hyper, sleep-deprived timeline energy, like “Its 5pm i just woke up . I keep dreaming about brett anderson and his crack” and “For someone who has notifications turned off for the twitter app i sure do open it a gazillion times a day”. Spicy ginger syrup captures the unhinged horny bite of tweets like “Noel needs to hop off kurt coban’s dick and jump on mine” and the nose-biting ambitions of “bite Noel Gallagher’s nose off ... bite Liam Gallagher’s nose off”. Finally, the edible glitter rim reflects their dramatic, theatrical posting style—from “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 2026 I AM IN YOU!!!!!!” to “Merry Christmas everyoomf 🎄 I’m drawing and quartering myself so you can all keep a piece of me with you like lint in your pocket ❤️”—because this drink, like Ziggy, refuses to be subtle or normal.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Their timeline is dominated by sharp, often surreal humor and wordplay, which leans heavily Ravenclaw: for example, the deadpan absurdity of “I’m in IT/SaaS 🤕 She OKR on my KPI until I” and “I think I would enjoy being a platelet agitator” shows quick wit and conceptual playfulness. They also demonstrate a love of ideas and media across genres—citing classic literature alongside yaoi and Oasis in “5 things I like: Yaoi Classic literature Oasis Rum and coke Naruto”, and looping Pet Sounds as a sort of focused deep dive in “Listening to Pet Sounds on repeat dont hit me up”—which fits Ravenclaw’s eclectic intellectual curiosity. Their posts frequently engage in meta-commentary and self-analysis, like “I say shit like ‘Im not really in the business of’ but then be in the business of” and “For someone who has notifications turned off for the twitter app i sure do open it a gazillion times a day. Purpose = defeated”, showing reflective, self-aware thinking. Even their fandom obsession is processed through clever conceptual jokes, e.g., “Noel needs to hop off kurt coban’s dick and jump on mine Wdym we literally have the same birth chart. Until mars at least” and the pseudo-philosophical gag of “Existentialists be like:”. While they clearly care about friends and oomfs (Hufflepuff-adjacent) as seen in “Did you guys have fun without me and do fun things without me 😞 you wouldnt do that right 😊”, their defining trait is a hyperverbal, inventive, reference-dense way of thinking and joking that is most at home in Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
Cigarettes & Alcohol - Oasis
The chaotic, funny, slightly feral hedonism of Cigarettes & Alcohol fits them almost perfectly. They’re endlessly Gallagher-brained and horny-on-main about Noel and Liam, from planning to “bite Noel Gallagher’s nose off … bite Liam Gallagher’s nose off” to posts like “Noel needs to hop off kurt coban’s dick and jump on mine”. The song’s theme of chasing a messy, pleasure-first life instead of a tidy, respectable one mirrors their tendency toward drama and overindulgence, like “smoking on that shit that made hole violet” and their many late-night/overtired posts. There’s also a very Gallagher-esque self-deprecating humor and bodily chaos in tweets such as “My coccyx hurts soooo bad” and “I cant even begin to imagine what being a celebrity would feel like. I get 1 gimmick and my head starts swelling like an enlarged prostate”, which echoes the song’s grubby, working-through-the-pain attitude. Finally, their whole Oasis-twt identity and fixation on Noel’s songwriting (“Noel winning songwriter of the year Noel ahhhhhhhhhh take it out its hurtinggggggggggg”) makes an early, loud, sneering Oasis anthem the most fitting soundtrack to their timeline.
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