Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Principled Pragmatism: He advocates for sensible middle-ground solutions, such as using “derogation clauses” rather than a “hard careless break” from the ECHR.
- Global Internationalist: He prioritizes Britain's standing in the world, defending “internationalism” and urging strong support for “Ukraine” against aggression.
- Civic Responsibility: He condemns political intimidation, stating that behaving “like a thug” deserves cross-party condemnation regardless of political affiliation.
- Policy Focused: His critique of the “NIC increase” and “planning reforms” shows a deep engagement with economic and domestic legislation.
- Assertive Patriotism: He believes in leveraging “soft power” and standing up to allies like the US to protect “British interests”.
Weaknesses:
- Combative Rhetoric: He frequently uses inflammatory language, labeling political opponents as “nutjobs,” “whackos,” and “cowboy builders.”
- Diplomatic Impatience: He suggests extreme foreign policy measures, such as “suspending operational activity” at US military bases to exert leverage.
- Hyperbolic Comparisons: He likens UK domestic policies, such as remote weight tracking, to “something you would see in China.”
- Elitist Undertones: His dismissive comments about people being “terminally online” or having “militant leadership” can come across as condescending.
- Partisan Skepticism: He often assumes the worst intentions of the Labour government, predicting they will “inadvertently breach the Official Secrets Act.”
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Ollie Brittain mirrors Lisa Simpson through his high-minded intellectualism, precocious engagement with complex policy, and frequent exasperation with 'populist' nonsense. Like Lisa, he is a studious 'pen pusher' who prioritizes expertise, “advocating for... opt outs under Article 15” and championing “high speed rail like France”. He shares her disdain for what he perceives as low-brow political 'whackos,' labeling certain movements as a “pathetic personality cult” while critiquing the “weak, cowardly diplomacy” of those in power. His principled stances on internationalism and civil liberties echo Lisa’s role as the moral and academic conscience of The Simpsons.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTJ
Ollie exhibits Extroversion through his active engagement in the public square, internships, and political memberships, often challenging others to “get outside more” rather than engaging in anonymous online isolation. He shows Intuition by focusing on the 'big picture' of geopolitics and long-term strategy, such as leveraging “soft power” and predicting future “catastrophic consequences” of legislation. His Thinking is dominant, as he prioritizes economic logic over sentiment, arguing that “a higher minimum wage would lead to further costs for the business” and dismissing “performative” measures. Finally, his Judging trait is clear in his demand for order and efficiency, frequently criticizing “lack of careful forethought” and advocating for “stoicism and discipline” in political governance.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you an infrastructure overhaul? Because you’ve got me thinking about high-speed connections and planning for a long-term future together.
- Forget the 20% VAT—I’d happily pay a premium just for a seat in your private circle.
- I promise I’m not a 'terminally online' socialist; I’m just a guy wondering if you’d like to explore the intricacies of a deep red wine with me tonight.
- Are you the ECHR? Because leaving you would be a national disaster and I’m definitely not looking for a hard withdrawal.
- I’ve got a 'pro-housing' platform of my own, though I think we’d both agree that £15m Dockmaster’s House is a much better place for our first date.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Conservative pragmatist and student. When not debating why we should keep the ECHR, I’m probably scaling a rock face or hunting for a decent glass of red wine.– @OllieBrittain
Your signature cocktail
The Soft Power Spritz
This cocktail is a pragmatically 'One Nation' blend, featuring a classic Gin base that honors his role as a @Conservatives member while adding a red wine floater to help others “explore the intricacies of various red wines”. The drink is served with a splash of tonic representing his belief that “we wouldn’t need all these separate treaties if we were still an EU member state”, finished with a bitter orange twist to mock the “constant reminder of the lack of careful forethought” in modern policy. It is an assertive, high-energy drink that mirrors how “the UK can achieve when we are assertive and leverage soft power”, garnished with mountain herbs as a nod to this “avid climber”.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Ollie consistently demonstrates Ravenclaw traits through his highly analytical and policy-driven approach to politics, often prioritizing intellectual pragmatism over populist rhetoric. He critiques various parties with systematic reasoning, such as when he argues that “Drilling mindlessly without a plan will not guarantee our energy security” or when he dissects the legal complexities of the ECHR, noting that “We would inevitably be expelled from the Council of Europe” if the UK left the treaty. His love for learning and professional expertise is evident in his pride regarding a “thoroughly enriching internship” with a think tank where he wrote on housing market harms. Even his hobbies reflect a Ravenclaw's appreciation for intricacy, as he offers to help others “explore the intricacies of various red wines”, viewing it as something to be savored and understood rather than simply consumed.
Your movie
Your song
Things Can Only Get Better - D:Ream
As a self-described “@Conservatives member” and student intern at the center-right think tank Bright Blue, Ollie Brittain embodies a pragmatic, modern brand of Toryism that is often critical of both the current Labour government and the populist right. He frequently expresses a desire for his party to return to a platform of economic growth and infrastructure, arguing that “the Conservatives will address regional inequalities, cut commuting times, and increase housing affordability” by prioritizing jobs. This song, famously associated with New Labour’s 1997 optimism, ironically suits Ollie’s current outlook as he views the current political landscape with frustration, particularly regarding “Reform UK's tracking of members” which he calls a “pathetic personality cult.” Ultimately, his tweets suggest a hope that things can only get better for the UK through “assertive” soft power and a more “stoic” Conservative Party.
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